Hint: If you say anything other than Flesh, you're messed in the head.

But are Golems friends or fiends? Check out the episode and then let us know what you think.

Good joke.

This week is actually about the tiny little pests known as goblins. You probably think you know everything about them, and you're probably right. But did you know that a Goblin King is almost undoubtedly the least powerful monarch around?

Come learn about them and then let us know what you think. Are goblins friends or fiends?

Come learn about them, and then let us know what you think.

Actually, even the things the light touches also belongs to the Gnolls if they want it. They're pretty freakin' ruthless. But they're also kinda cool. So come learn about them, then let us know what you think. Are Gnolls friends, or fiends? 

No. Obviously not. There's still a whole demon infestation to deal with. But first we're going to find out exactly what Kroy has been trying to tell us for the last 5 episodes. Kroy is back, baby! Or at least, The Gang is hoping he is.

So come give the episode a listen, then let us know what you think. Are the Gith friends or fiends?

So come learn about this glorping goo monster and then let us know what you think; are Gibbering Mouthers friends or fiends? Also, what's you favourite gum flavour?

The nice thing about giants is that their names really do tell you everything you need to know about them. Fire Giants like fire, Storm Giants like storms.

The Not so nice thing about Giants is that it turns out they're not all that nice.

But are they friends or are they fiends? Give the episode a listen and let us know what you think.

So this week, Alex and Kyle get into all the lore behind the Giant's creation and their history as a people. But we'll hold of on rating these big boys until after our next episode where we'll get into the details about -and the differences between- each of the 6 types of Giant. 

But what are Ghouls? You'll have to listen to the episode to find out. But as a brief overview, they sound a little bit like zombies, but they're definitely not zombies. And their origins stem from another of the main Races in D&D.

So, come give the episode a listen and let us know what you think. Are Ghouls (and Ghasts) friends, or fiends?

But just in case you aren't an expert, here's a basic run down: Ghosts used to be alive, but now they're dead and they're gonna haunt you. Sounds scary right? Well don't worry. We've got some tips on how to get rid of ghosts. So come give the episode a listen and then let us know what you think. Are ghosts friends or fiends?

Well fine. Whatever. Genies don't really cast wishes anyway. I mean, they can grant wishes, but it's not really that big of a part of their lives. Aladdin really blew that part of out proportion.

Also, genies very rarely live in lamps. And half of them are evil. Genies are an interesting creature in that, probably everything you think you know about them is right, but only kind of right. And there's a ton that might surprise you. For example, did you know that there are 4 types of Genies?

So come give the episode a listen and then let us know what you think. Are Genies friends or fiends?

And then The Gang makes a plan as to how to beat the game, which I guess is the whole point of this. BUT SEF THOUGH! WHO IS HE? 

So come listen to the episode to learn how the statues and the creatures are related and the origin story of the living gargoyles (which is pretty cool, and is, for some reason, presented in a tiny side note in the Monster Manual).

Then, let us know what you think. Are Gargoyles friends or fiends?

So it's pretty obvious what are rating is for the Galeb Duhr, but what do you think? Are they friends or fiends? Come give the episode a listen, learn about the Rock and Roll rocks that roll and let us know if you agree with our rating.

So come learn about the Fungi of the Underdark and then let us know what you think. Are they friends or are they fiends?

So come join Krondlin the Kobold and Prince Chadzarach of Kroegerth on their adventures through Stonevalley Creek.

However, in D&D, it's a lot more clear cut. Fomorians are evil, ugly giants. And that's not just us being mean and judging creatures that don't live up to our own beauty standards. They are literally magically cursed to be as ugly as they can be in order to match their hateful and vile souls.

How'd they get cursed you ask? Well, it's a long story. So come give the episode a listen and then let us know what you think. Are Fomorians friends or fiends?

Oh, and they move by farting. We love Flumphs.

So come learn about the best creature in the game, and then let us know what you think. Are they Friends? Or are they Best Friends?

So, Kroy, Nubz and Bort the Grappler each meet up with their Goblin guides and navigate the enemy camps to varying degrees of success.

That's the gist of it. But they have the potential to be so much cooler than just a fiery head bone. So this week Kyle and Alex talk a little bit about that potential.

But are Flameskulls friends or fiends? Give the episode a listen and let us know what you think.

Also, Nubz solves the mystery of why TwoTime is so depressed and a few of The Gang's allies get some much needed power ups from a very powerful person.

It's a very productive two days!

Well, ok. That might be a bit of an exaggeration. Dragons are really cool, very powerful and a pretty diverse bunch, but despite being the eponymous creatures of the game we play, they might not actually be the most important monsters around. This week Kyle and Alex learn about the 10 different types of Dragons, breaking down The Good, The Bad and The Greedy. Did you know that Dragons are all Clint Eastwood? Did I just make that up? Maybe, but you'll never know unless you listen to the episode. So go do that and then let us know if you agree with our rating of Dragons. Are they friends or fiends?

Now, 11 types of devils might seem like a lot to remember, but thankfully devils have a much better naming scheme than demons do. Bone devils are the ones that look like bones, Chain Devils are the ones that have chains, Spined Devils are the ones with spines etc. It's pretty straight forward.

So come join Kyle and Alex to learn all about the grunts and commanders that make up the ranks of the armies of Hell. They're obviously all fiends, so we don't do a rating of friend or fiend, but we do decide that there is one devil that we'd probably hang out with if we absolutely had to. Let us know if you think the same way!

To break it down real quick, here's the deal: There are 9 layers of hell. Each layer is ruled by a powerful devil (known as an Archdevil). The Biggest and Baddest Devil of them all is named Asmodeus and he rules everything and everyone.

So this week we take a look at all the Archdevils and the layer of hell that they rule in. And then next week we'll cover all of their devilish underlings.

So come check out the episode and learn everything you ever needed to know about Devils and the layers of hell, all without having to slog through Dante's Inferno. Then let us know what you think. Are Devils friends or fiends?

There are a ton of different types of demons and they each have their own pros and cons (I mean, from our human perspective, it’s just one big list of cons. But from the demon’s perspective, I’m sure they considered some of them pros). So come check out the episode and then let us know what you think.

Normally this is where I would say “do you think they’re friends or fiends” but since they’re all awful, I’ll change the question to this: If you were forced to summon one single demon, which type would you summon and why is it the Quasit?

Then, we talk about Abyssal Infestations and the end of the world. It’s not gonna be fun. Don’t open portals to the Abyss!

In this episode we cover the Blood War (the never ending battle between demons and devils) and the most powerful demons of all, the Demon Lords.

So come join Kyle and Alex as they discuss the chaotic beings that live in the abyss and help us determine if any of them are redeemable or if every demon really is nothing more than a fiend.

But are they Friends or Fiends?

Kyle and Alex learn all about Death Knights, their noble beginnings and their tragic ends. Also, they talk a a lot about Fire Emblem and ghosts. So give the episode a listen and then let us know what you think about the Death Knight.

The Darkmantle is clearly a squid, but you don’t need to go Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea to find it. Or any leagues at all for that matter. Once again Wizards of the Coast decided that an aquatic animal just lives in regular caves. So at least they’re being consistent.

But is the Darkmantle a friend or a fiend? Kyle and Alex discuss the pros and cons of this fleshy umbrella creature. Let us know what you think.

Cyclops suffer from what we’re going to call ‘Joan Jett syndrome’. They have a bad reputation. But that’s mostly because they get mad when people steal things from them. Then those people are like “why you mad bro? Damn, these Cyclops are jerks.” Meanwhile Cyclops is actually pretty chill and Odysseus is the jerk.

Also, maybe elephants have been the true Cyclops all along? Join Kyle and Alex as they try to determine whether these one-eyed shepherds are friends or fiends.

The Crawling Claw definitely has one of the most unique names in the Monster Manual.Ok maybe that’s not true. But it does have the most unique… ummm, actually there is pretty much nothing unique about these little dudes at all. But that doesn’t stop Kyle and Alex from having a blast with this week’s episode.

There’s something just so perfectly silly and absurd about these severed hands that it’s almost impossible for them to not sit at the top of any “best creatures in D&D” list.

But are they friends or fiends? Give the episode a listen and then let us know what you think.

The Couatl is the most majestic creature we’ve covered on the show so far. It’s a colourful, benevolent snake-bird protector demi-god that will never lie to you and always has you best interests at heart. Which is nice because the only other snakes I can think of are Kaa and the guy from the Simpsons and neither one of them are exactly stand-up characters. Oh and the guy from Smash Bros that I don’t like playing as.

So come give the episode a listen, learn about the D&D lore as well as the real life version of the Couatl and then let us know if you think they are friends or fiends.

Honestly, the best part about this episode is that we learned that a ‘Fart Egg’ is a real thing.

But is the Cockatrice a friend or a fiend? Give the episode a listen and then let us know what you think.

Did you know this was a cover and not a Quiet Riot original? I sure as heck didn’t. But it’s fitting because Cloakers are basically covers too.

“How does that even make sense Kyle?” you ask.

I don’t know, it doesn’t really make sense. But Cloakers are just stingrays, so they’re like a cover version of a ray, and a Ray by any other name would smell as- ok yup, this has officially gotten away from me.

If you wanna get a better handle on Cloakers, just come give the episode a listen. And then let us know what you think. Are Cloakers friends or fiends?

Hey kids, get out your bibs and hop in the van! I hope you’re hungry because we’re heading down to Red Lobster for their All-You-Can-Eat Chuul special! It’s only around for Halloween season, so cram that sweet, sweet crustacean meat in your gullet while you can!

Umm, Chuul are magic lobsters. That’s the main takeaway from this episode. But of course Alex and Kyle talk about it more in depth. Also, Kyle learns about a conspiracy theory he’d never heard of and… it kind of makes sense to him?

Give the episode a listen and then help us decide, are Chuul friends or fiends?

Bort is in the abyss, Nubz makes an emergency exit and Kroy is stuck with El Diablo and the Gex. Nothing is going right for The Gang.

The Chimera is one of the most famous monsters from Greek mythology and that means Alex recognized it right away.  So this week, instead of diving straight into the D&D lore, Alex gives us a little lesson in mythology.Then, get this: it turns out chimeras are a real actual thing that exists in the world. Our world. Like, the world that you’re sitting and reading this sentence in. So Alex tells us a little bit about the science behind real life chimeras.

After that, Kyle talks about the D&D version of the creature, which is pretty cool. But after learning about the real life chimera, it honestly seems a little silly.

Anyway, check out the episode and help us decide if it’s a friend or a fiend.

The Carrion Crawler is probably the grossest creature we’ve learned about so far. This Putrid Party Monster will haunt your dreams and make you rethink your feelings about bugs. And it doesn’t even matter if you liked or disliked bugs. If you thought beetles were cool before, now you’re gonna think they’re disgusting. If you already hated grubs, we’ll you’re gonna live in a nightmare world after this.

Why does Wizards of the Coast do this to us?

You probably don’t even have to listen to the episode to figure out if Kyle and Alex think the Carrion Crawler is a friend or fiend, but you might as well give the episode a listen anyway.

We’re sorry.

Holy Smokes! Alex guessed right this week! She correctly named the creature we discuss. We’re all very proud of her, but also, it was a pretty easy one. I mean, who doesn’t know what a centaur is?

Anyway, Alex did her own little bit of research before recording and she teaches Kyle a little bit of the “real” history of these unsettlingly sexy equine hybrids. Then Kyle goes into the D&D lore.

They also come up with possibly the best band name ever.

Give the episode a listen and then let us know what you think. Are Centaurs friends or fiends?

Every week we ask ‘is this creature a friend or a fiend?’ Well, Cambion are The Offspring (na na why don’t you get a job) of a fiend and a humanoid. And that sentence right there answers the question. But that’s not  really a spoiler for the episode or anything because there a lot of interesting stuff to learn about these Darth Maul rip offs.

And, as a bonus game, cane you figure out what character from We Have Darkvision is a character before Alex figures it out?

I hope you brought your boots, because this week we’re getting deep in the muck with the delusional amphibians known as Bullywug.

They’re greedy. They’re needy. And they live where it’s reedy.

They call the swamp their home and really want you to be impressed by them. Bullywugs are pretty much regular frogs, but they stand upright. Which, in our opinion, makes them a little creepy.

But creepy or not, the real reason we’re here is to determine whether or not they’re a friend of a fiend. Join Kyle and Alex to find out what they say, then let us know what you think. Could you hang out with these hoppy boys? Or would you shun them, like we should all shun Crazy Frog?

This week Kyle and Alex learn all about how to pronounce the word ‘Bulette’. And once that’s out of the way, they learn about Bulettes themselves.

Turns out they’re basically Ankheg’s that don’t have any fucks left to give.

The episode also takes a turn into the realm of book recommendations, when Kyle remembers an old sci-fi book he read that features Land Sharks (that’s a nickname for bulettes). There’s a little bit of everything in this episodes.

So give it a listen, then let us know what you think. Are Bulettes Friends or Fiends?

Bugbears might sound cute, but believe me they are anything but. Whatever you’re picturing is probably wrong. Unless you’re picturing a roid raging Grizzly Bear with a level of cunning on par with Yogi Bear. Except the Bugbear’s Pic-a-nic Basket is probably filled with human body parts instead of your standard bologna sandwich.

But, hey, Yogi Bear isn’t such a  bad dude. So maybe Bugbears aren’t so bad either.

Join Kyle and Alex to find out if Bugbears are Friends or Fiends.

-Vampire Rick Moranis in the new gritty reboot of Little Shop of Horrors.

I don’t want to ruin the whole origin story here, but I will say this: Blights have the silliest origin and I am so totally on board with it. The plants come from vampires. How? What? Why? Plants don’t drink blood!

That’s a fun movie! So Blights are probably friends, right? Oh, but Vampires are bad. So maybe Blights are fiends.

This episode is a big one. The Beholder and it’s entire evolution line are some of the most iconic Dungeons and Dragons creatures of all time, so naturally, there is a lot to say about them.

On the one hand, it’s nice to have so much established lore for Beholders, Death Tyrants and Spectators. It makes the world seem more fleshed out. On the other hand, when all that lore is about them being c-tiered level Saturday morning cartoon villains hell-bent on world domination, well, everything becomes a little less nice. Also, they’re probably sticky, which is gross.

You can probably guess what Kyle and Alex think about these guys, but just to be sure, why not give the episode a listen and see whether the Beholder is a friend or a fiend.

Here’s a good one. What has 12 legs, goat horns and is neither snake nor lizard, but is also both of those things? A Behir! Ha! got you, it’s not a joke. It’s actually just a nightmare come to life.

If someone told you they found a snake with legs, you’d probably say “Umm, that’s a lizard you moron.” And then they would reply “No, it’s a Behir.”

They’d show you a picture and you’d probably say “Oh, look at the little guy. I’d put him in my terrarium. He’s kinda cute, like a weird salamander goat.”

And then they’d say “Oh no, sorry. I should have put a banana in there for scale. This thing is like 30 feet long.”

And then you’d mess your pants because it’s standing right behind you.

Join Kyle and Alex to find out if this lightning snizzard is a friend or a fiend.

*she never really finishes the sentence, but it’s actually “the heart does go on the menu”. The Behir is gonna eat your heart. And also the rest of you. All in one go. It eats you whole.

Good joke Kyle.

I hope you’ve brushed up on your Parseltongue because today we’re talking about the Basilisk! Nah, just kidding you don’t need to speak Parseltongue. That’s a completely made up language that J.K Rowling barfed into existence. (That’s how writers write, right? They just up-chuck words onto paper until someone begs them to stop?)

The real Basilisk is an 8 legged lizard monster that looks like it’d be right at home in one of Dr. Henry Wu's wet dreams. This bad boy eats stones and doesn’t even worry about breaking it’s teeth. So you know he’s a real tough customer.

But will Kyle and Alex name him friend or fiend? Find out on this week’s episode!

At some point in our lives, we’ve all played a version of the “If you could be a monster, what kind of monster would you be?” game. Well, this week we learn that sometimes you get to pick the monster, and sometimes the monster picks you. Today, Alex was picked by the Banshee.

While learning about the Banshee, Alex realized that she shares a disproportional number of traits with these undead, former-supermodel elf ladies. At first Kyle and Alex were shocked by the revelation, but by the end of the episode… Let’s just say, you can’t always judge a book by it’s decaying exterior and generally poor disposition.

Sometimes that’s all a front to cover up… uhh… I don’t know how to salvage this. Look, Alex is great. Banshees, not so much?

I hope y’all like volcanoes because these dudes are bronze fire babies that come from the Elemental Plane of Fire, and volcanoes are their daddies. Well, no. Azer don’t really have daddies. Well, they kind of do. Their daddies pound them (…huh. This is sounding more and more like brazzers) into shape, molded from bronze and filling them with their inner fire… look, just listen to the episode ok?

Get some of that bitter apple spray and put it on your cow’s ankles. Maybe that will deter these ravenous beasts from turning your livestock into a buffet. It more than likely won’t deter them, but you gotta try something. Right?

This week Alex and Kyle learn all about the burrowing nuisance that is the Ankheg!

No need to answer. We already know what you’re going to say. It’s 'Angel' by Shaggy.

Who could ever forget the lyrics to this classic tune?

“Girl, you’re my angel, you’re my darling angelCloser than my peeps you are to me, babyShorty, you’re my angel, you’re my darling angelGirl, you’re my friend when I’m in need, lady”However, we get the feeling that Shaggy never read the Monster Manual because his view on angels is…inaccurate. If we go by Wizards of the Coast’s view of angels, this song has a completely different meaning than Shaggy thinks it does.

More accurate lyrics would read something like this:

“Girl you’re my single-minded-murder-machine, you’re my darling agenda-pushing-divine-warriorkilling all my peeps who disagree, babyShorty, you’re a living-weapon, you’re my darling shapeshifting-manipulative-self-involved-messengerGirl, you might be my friend when I’m in need, but your’re also just as likely to smite me for some unknown transgression, lady”

But we don’t really expect much from Shaggy anyway, so we’ll let him off the hook.

Anyway, on this episode Alex and Kyle dive into the entry on Angels and discover that their reputation for being ‘good guys’ is, at best, wildly misleading.

From now on, we’re calling Angels ‘Sky Bros’, and not in an endearing nick name kind of way.

I bet you didn’t know that “I’m Just A Kid” was really about the Aboleth, did you?

They also briefly split the party but thankfully come to their senses before going to far.

The Dungeons and Dragons Monster manual has a ton of entries in it, but we don’t think it’s fair to label all those creatures as ‘monsters’. We think a lot of them are probably pretty great and friendly. So in each episode of Monster Friends, Kyle and Alex take a look at a new creature and try to decide if they’re fiends or friends.

Alex takes a guess at what she thinks the monsters are good at and what they’re all about, and then Kyle goes a little bit into the lore before we decide the fate of our potential new friends.

In this episode we take a look at the majestic Aarakocra. Are they best friend material?

I legitimately cannot believe they aren’t dead.

In this first episode, our heroes get a distress call from Lucien Skyhorn, the lighthouse keeper. They set out by ship to reach him and are attacked by… soda pop? No. That can’t be right. Can it?

The adventure is awesome and if you’re a Dungeon Master (or a Cavern Master in Kyle’s case), we would highly recommend you check out their other adventures.

This adventure is written for 5th level characters and since Kroy, Nubz and Bort the Grappler were only level 2, Kyle had to tweak the difficulty a bit in order to not straight murder the entire party. Although, with the amount of knee caps that were smashed, it’s quite possible our heroes would have been fine.