The Virtual Couch

What Happens When You Stop Needing to Be Right - Certainty, Curiosity, and Emotional Immaturity

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 23 Jun 2026 13:32:47 -0400

Why does certainty feel safer than curiosity—and why does that quietly run so many of our relationships? In this Q&A crossover, Tony answers three listener questions that sound completely unrelated—a spouse who looked through a phone without asking, someone who keeps pulling conversations back to themselves, and why confident, certain voices dominate public life—then reveals the single thread connecting all three: how hard it is to tolerate uncertainty, and why curiosity (not certainty) is where growth actually lives. If you've ever felt the pull to fill in the blanks, win the argument, or get reassurance right now, this one will make you feel seen. In this episode, you'll: Reframe the phone fight using Tony's four pillars of a connected conversation—because it's almost never about the phone. Understand why your brain treats not knowing as a threat (it's a "don't get killed device") and how to stay present in the gray. Build a well inside yourself instead of chasing validation in every conversation—Tony's "emotionally dehydrated" metaphor for growing up with conditional self-worth. Tell the difference between confidence rooted in security and performative certainty that needs an audience. Trade self-monitoring for genuine curiosity using implicit memory and ACT—because you're not broken, you're human. Tony Overbay is a licensed marriage and family therapist with more than two decades of clinical experience helping people become curious rather than defensive. If the noise of everyone being so sure has left you exhausted, press play—there's room here to not know, and to grow from it. 00:00 Q&A Episode Setup 01:34 Three Questions Theme 05:18 Why Curiosity Matters 07:25 Brain Craves Certainty 09:03 Ambiguity Feels Threatening 10:49 Stress Kills Curiosity 13:14 Cognitive Flexibility 14:38 Certainty Gets Rewarded 17:39 Phone Privacy Conflicts 22:40 Four Pillars Framework 26:49 Validation Seeking Habits 28:37 Desert and Thirst Metaphor 31:28 Validation Seeking Pattern 32:04 Curiosity Over Self-Monitoring 34:05 Boundaries With Unavailable People 35:30 You Are Not Broken 36:19 ACT Mindset Shift 37:48 Language Learning Analogy 40:24 From Self-Criticism to Acceptance 42:06 Certainty vs Wisdom 48:27 Insecurity and Emotional Immaturity 50:43 Narcissism as Defense 56:27 Healthy Ego vs Defensive Ego 01:02:27 Leadership and Group Dynamics 01:05:21 Choose Curiosity and Close Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com

What You Don't Know You Don't Know About Meditation (Hint: You Can’t Stop Thoughts or Clear Your Mind!)

Tony Overbay LMFT — Fri, 12 Jun 2026 04:00:00 -0400

Mindfulness isn't about emptying your mind or finally feeling calm—and believing it was is probably why you quit. Your emotions fire before your thinking brain ever catches up, which means most of your reactions—the defensiveness, the cravings, the snap judgments—are already in motion before you "decide" anything. In this conversation, Tony unpacks the neuroscience behind that gap and the genuinely doable practice that helps you notice your patterns sooner, build a pause, and respond to your life instead of just reacting to it. In this episode, you'll: Discover why you "feel before you think"—the low road and high road your brain takes, and why emotions fire roughly two and a half times faster than thoughts Learn to build the pause that turns automatic reactions (yes, including the fourth Oreo) into actual choices Untangle the real difference between meditation and mindfulness—and why the practice has roots in everything from Buddhist tradition to Christian contemplative prayer, no conversion required Understand why silence can feel so unbearable that people will choose a mild electric shock over sitting alone with their thoughts—and what that reveals about emotional avoidance Strengthen the "runway" between your internal smoke alarm and your inner fire chief using sleep, breath, and a practice you can start in the next sixty seconds Tony Overbay is a licensed marriage and family therapist and host of The Virtual Couch, drawing on his clinical work and four-plus years of daily practice to make mindfulness feel approachable instead of intimidating. Stay through the end for a short guided practice you can take with you—and remember, you're not failing when your mind wanders. You're not broken. You're human. Start with one breath today. 00:00 One Year Post Fusion 01:02 Trusting Physical Therapy 02:56 From Woo Woo to Mindfulness 05:05 No Magic Beans 10:03 The Pause Changes Everything 14:12 Stick Not Snake Brain 19:09 Oreos and Autopilot 22:07 Mindfulness and Maturity 28:56 Meditation Practice Tiers 30:31 My Daily Practice Origin 34:46 Meditation vs Mindfulness 35:28 Meditation Roots East West 38:02 Skepticism and Ownership 40:20 Meditation Styles Overview 42:34 Mindfulness Misconceptions 45:47 Mindfulness in Daily Life 48:33 Mindfulness History and MBSR 52:10 What Mindfulness Is Not 55:33 Brainwaves and Frequencies 58:47 Entrainment and Binaural Beats 01:02:52 Natural Sounds and Safety 01:05:15 Apophenia Pattern Seeking 01:06:41 Why Silence Feels Hard 01:10:22 Stimulation Dopamine Avoidance 01:11:46 Back to Beats and Apps 01:12:08 Meditation Apps I Use 01:12:26 Monroe Institute Hemi Sync 01:13:51 Gateway Process Hype 01:15:01 Binaural Beats Reality Check 01:16:07 Breathwork Science Basics 01:17:38 Vagus Nerve and HRV 01:19:33 Nasal vs Mouth Breathing 01:22:20 Diaphragmatic Breathing 01:23:43 Neurons Wire Together 01:25:01 Startle Response Runway 01:27:54 Lengthening the Runway 01:30:32 What We Learned Today 01:32:46 Guided Mindfulness Practice 01:38:19 This Too Shall Pass 01:39:54 You Are Not Broken 01:43:04 Closing Breath and Goodbye Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com

Murder on the Couch: When "I Did It For You" Is a Lie

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 04 Jun 2026 08:34:09 -0400

A heads-up before you press play: this is a bonus crossover from my true crime podcast, Murder on the Couch, dropping into your Virtual Couch / Waking Up to Narcissism feed. It's heavier than usual and opens with a disturbing familicide case that I don't sugarcoat, so if that's not where you are right now, it's completely okay to sit this one out and come back when you're ready. If you stay, I use the case to get at the things we talk about all the time—shame, compartmentalization, the altruistic defense, emotional immaturity, and differentiation—because the behavior is horrific, but the psychology underneath it is deeply human. John List killed his wife, his mother, and his three children—then walked away convinced God would understand. Murder on the Couch is back. Licensed therapist Tony Overbay reopens one of true crime's most chilling family annihilation cases, but not for the manhunt or the famous 18 years List spent hiding in plain sight as "Bob Clark." Tony sits with the question that actually keeps him up at night: how does a devout, rule-following Sunday school teacher reach a place where murder becomes, in his own mind, the most loving thing he could do? If you've ever performed "fine" while something was quietly falling apart inside you, this one lands closer to home than you'd expect. In this episode: Untangle guilt ("I did something bad") from shame ("I am bad")—and why shame left in the dark only grows heavier Spot the "altruistic defense": how control and harm get repackaged as love, devotion, and protection See how rigidity, compartmentalization, and a performed self can hollow a person out long before any crisis hits Learn the ACT distinction between the conceptualized self (the story) and the observing self (the awareness)—and why List had no one home to catch him when the story collapsed Drawing on acceptance and commitment therapy, David Schnarch's work on differentiation, and Richard Rohr's reframe of shame, Tony brings 600-plus episodes of clinical insight to the cases that won't let him go. Shame grows in concealment and shrinks in connection. And Tony's looking for a co-host—if a case has gotten under your skin and you know why, email contact@tonyoverbay.com and pitch it. 00:00 Bonus Episode Setup 00:21 Murder on the Couch Returns 02:56 Content Warning and Themes 05:53 John List Case Opens 08:46 Show Relaunch and Co-Host Invite 12:40 John List Background and Unraveling 17:31 Compartmentalization Explained 19:53 Shame Versus Guilt 24:21 ACT Defusion and Healing 25:47 Shame Architecture of John List 28:21 Altruistic Defense and Covert Narcissism 30:49 Narcissistic Injury 31:26 Altruistic Defense 35:32 Love Versus Control 36:29 Rigidity Explained 38:08 Rules And Fragility 42:06 Eighteen Years Hidden 45:40 Conceptualized Self 48:35 Excavating The Self 52:56 Why This Case Haunts 54:31 Faith And Performance 58:07 Tell The Truth 59:41 Closing And Co-Hosts Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com

The Validation Paradox: Why Reassurance Can Feel Lonely

Tony Overbay LMFT — Fri, 15 May 2026 16:00:00 -0400

Your partner said all the right things. So why do you feel MORE alone than before you opened up? Welcome to positive invalidation. That strange ache—being reassured into invisibility—has a name. It's what happens when "you're so good at your job, don't even worry about it" lands like a door quietly closing on what you actually feel. In this episode, Tony Overbay unpacks the science of validation, the paradox underneath it, and why the partner who soothes you fastest may be regulating their own nervous system, not seeing yours. Through the story of Archie and Veronica, this episode explores: Why positive invalidation stings more than the obvious kind—and how to spot it inside your own well-meaning reassurances Dr. Marsha Linehan's "kernel of truth" definition of validation, plus Tony's four pillars of a connected conversation David Schnarch's distinction between other-validated and self-validated intimacy—and why needing validation is the real trap The co-regulation research (including the famous fMRI hand-holding study) that explains why your partner's bad day becomes your emergency The four stages of competence, from "unconscious incompetence" to actually living it—and why stage two is where most people quit therapy HALT, upstream versus downstream work, and a surprising tangent into energy landscapes and Buddhist non-self As a licensed marriage and family therapist who's spent decades guiding couples back toward each other, Tony weaves together DBT, ACT, and Schnarch's differentiation work to answer one question: can you give validation as a gift without needing it back? If something here resonates, share it with someone who needs to hear that they're not broken—they're human. Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com 00:00 Welcome and Disclaimer 02:28 Meet Archie and Veronica 03:07 A Compliment That Hurts 05:08 Positive Invalidation Explained 06:35 Where Invalidation Comes From 09:10 Science of Validation and DBT 09:49 Four Pillars of Connection 12:31 Validation Research and Polarization 14:52 Schnarch and Differentiation 18:05 Self-Validated Intimacy 19:08 Non-Self and Interdependence 22:58 Co-Regulation and Fusion 26:08 When Comfort Is for You 28:11 Co-Regulation as Hope 28:57 When Growth Triggers Chaos 30:03 Energy Landscapes Explained 32:01 Biology of Pushback 35:02 Validation Paradox 38:12 Self-Validated Intimacy 41:12 Building Self-Validation 46:20 Veronica and Archie Revisited 47:09 Upstream vs Downstream 51:37 Four Stages of Change 55:00 Key Takeaways and Wrap

It's Not About the Dishes - Trojan Horses Hiding in Every Marriage

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 30 Apr 2026 08:06:31 -0400

The dishwasher fight you've had a thousand times? Or is it about the laundry, where you’re going to eat, making the bed, and cleaning the kitchen? The truth is, it’s never really been about the dishwasher (or laundry, eating, making the bed, etc). Couples therapist Tony Overbay walks through Jack and Jill, a 25-year marriage stuck in a low-grade war over how to load the dishes, and reveals what those endless arguments are actually carrying: a need to be seen, an effort that's gone unregistered, and two adaptive children from two completely different childhood homes still running the show. If you've ever been mid-fight and thought, "How are we doing this again?"—this episode finally names the pattern. In this episode you'll: Recognize the Trojan horse argument—how a fight about tongs, rinse agents, and which rack secretly carries the vulnerable conversation you haven't been able to say out loud Spot the four signs you're stuck in one: repetition without resolution, the running tab of unacknowledged effort, kitchen sinking (John Gottman's term), and the hollow win that doesn't feel like a win See how your adaptive child (Terry Real) brought the rules of your childhood home into your marriage—and why your nervous system can't tell the difference between a predator and your spouse walking in with "that look" Leave the waiting room—where both partners want connection but each waits for the other to move first—through differentiation (David Schnarch), not conditional effort Try three guided exercises—open the horse, flip the ledger, and one unilateral move—designed for one person, no partner participation required Drawing on nearly 20 years of couples therapy, his training in Emotionally Focused Therapy, and his four pillars of a connected conversation, Tony reframes the most exhausting argument in your marriage as a map—not a verdict. You're not broken. You're human. And the argument you keep having is pointing somewhere useful. The Magnetic Marriage course is getting a complete overhaul that builds in everything covered here. Get on the waitlist at tonyoverbay.com/magnetic. Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com 00:00 Welcome and Setup 01:03 Dishwasher War Story 01:57 How Dishes Become Proxy 04:17 Inside the Dishwasher Debate 07:45 Jack Stops Helping 10:08 Childhood Dish Rules 13:38 Seen and Validated 15:16 Trojan Horse Concept 18:53 Four Trojan Horse Signs 23:26 Not a Relationship Crisis 25:05 Why Vulnerability Feels Dangerous 26:17 Adaptive Child Patterns 30:52 Nervous System Triggers 32:18 Amygdala Hijack Mode 33:44 Learning New Skills 34:55 The Waiting Room Trap 39:46 Conditional Effort Stalemate 42:05 Trojan Horse Reframe 44:27 Differentiation Explained 47:29 Meaning We Assign 51:37 Impermanence and Hope 53:54 Reaching Without Scorekeeping 56:58 Dishwasher Reimagined 01:00:36 Tuesday Night Practice 01:02:44 Closing Encouragement

You Can’t Cram for the Test of Life - Dr. Mark Redford on Flossing, Faking It, and Why Habits Never Lie

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 16 Apr 2026 08:48:46 -0400

You lie to your dentist. You lie in therapy. And here's the uncomfortable truth — the patterns you think you're hiding are hiding nothing. Tony Overbay, LMFT, sits down with friend and dentist Dr. Mark Redford to unpack one of the most fascinating overlaps between dentistry and human psychology: impression management — and why you simply cannot cram for the test of life. From the dental chair to the therapy couch, the habits you actually practice tell a story no amount of performance can cover up. If you've ever "prepared" for a dentist appointment by flossing for three days straight, this episode is your mirror. In this episode, you'll explore: Why your dentist can spot that you don't floss before you even open your mouth — and what that reveals about the limits of impression management in every area of your life The concept of "cramming for the test of life" and why emotional growth, empathy, and trust can't be memorized the night before How co-regulation works in the dental chair (and in your closest relationships) — and why calm presence is more powerful than joining someone in their chaos The "post-cleaning motivation shelf life" — why that I'm a new person feeling lasts about two weeks, whether you're leaving the dentist or your first therapy session The difference between unconscious incompetence and conscious incompetence — and why knowing you're avoiding something is actually meaningful progress The hidden burnout drivers in helping professions, why pathological kindness can work against you, and what it looks like when patients (or clients) need someone to blame Tony Overbay is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with over 20 years of experience helping individuals and couples move from stuck and confused to grounded and growing. If Dr. Redford's calm, co-regulating presence sounds like exactly what your nervous system needs in a dentist, you can reach him at info@redfordsmiles.com, follow him on Instagram @redfordsmiles, or visit redfordsmiles.com. And while you're at it — his wife Amy offers cooking classes for all ages, from cookie decorating to high-end culinary experiences. Find her on Instagram @onecutecookiekitchen or at onecutecookie.net. Whether you're finally ready to be honest with your dentist — or with yourself — tonyoverbay.com is a great place to start. If you're a man who wants to build real emotional strength (not just talk about it), the Men's Emotional Architects group is open. Reach out at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more. The updated Magnetic Marriage course is also coming soon — get on the waitlist at tonyoverbay.com/magnetic. Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on TikTok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com

They Said All the Right Things (and Nothing Changed): The Anxious-Avoidant Trap w/Mackie Overbay

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 04:00:00 -0400

Why do the same conversations keep "resolving" without anything actually changing? Tony and his daughter Mackie unpack what they call "mouth sounds"—when someone says all the right words, uses the right tone, even touches your hand, and you walk away thinking this time it's different… but it never is.

This episode dives deep into the anxious-avoidant attachment cycle and why your nervous system chose your partner long before your conscious mind caught up. Tony walks through the Anxious/Avoidant attachment loop while Mackie checks boxes in real time—and then shares the raw, hard-won lessons from her own recent breakup in her twenties that every person navigating heartbreak needs to hear.

In this episode, you'll discover:

Why "mouth sounds" feel so convincing—and how both partners are projecting completely different realities onto the same conversation

The anxious-avoidant origin story: how your childhood wired you to find the familiar disguised as the opposite

Why consideration may be the highest form of love—and what it actually looks like in practice

Mackie's breakup playbook: feel it instead of numbing it, no feeling is ever final, there's no correct timeline for healing, and being alone beats settling

The hardest truth about leaving: sometimes choosing yourself means handing the other person the gift of getting to play the victim—and learning to be okay with that

Tony Overbay, LMFT, draws from over 20 years of couples therapy and 1,500+ couples to explain the patterns most people can't see until it's almost too late. Whether you're stuck in a cycle, fresh out of a breakup, or watching someone you love go through it—this one's for you.

Head to tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to join the wait list for the Magnetic Marriage course and start building the tools nobody handed you off the factory floor.

00:00 When Talks Repeat

01:11 Meet Tony and Mouth Sounds

02:21 Projection Behind Promises

03:34 Anxious Avoidant Framework

05:02 Mackey Breakup Lessons

06:04 Course Plug and Tools

09:58 Mackey Joins the Show

11:34 Dating After Breakup

13:04 Why Words Hook Us

15:05 Jack and Jill Origins

21:10 How They Attract

23:02 When Emotions Trigger Withdrawal

24:09 Differentiation and Change

30:05 Consideration as Love

31:32 Four Pillars and Victim Mode

33:15 Anxious Avoidant Patterns

33:55 Feeling Considered Matters

34:28 Inappropriate Outside Connection

36:09 Boundaries Trust Walk Away

37:36 Training What You Tolerate

40:46 Rapid Fire Lessons Begin

41:17 Feel It Dont Numb

45:00 Trust After Betrayal

48:54 No Feeling Is Final

50:13 Impermanence Changes Everything

53:00 No Timeline For Healing

57:48 Leaving And Being Villain

01:00:42 Wrap Up And Where To Find Us

Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com

Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group.

To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course visit https://www.tonyoverbay.com/magnetic. Sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch

Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course

You're Not Bad. You're Carrying the Problem: Shame, Triggers, and Healing

Tony Overbay LMFT — Sat, 07 Mar 2026 05:00:00 -0500

"I was triggered" vs. "I chose"—what if both are true, and neither gets to the real problem? When a listener sent Tony a viral video challenging people to replace "I was triggered" with "I chose," it sparked a deeper conversation about accountability, nervous system science, and the shame-based frameworks many of us inherited long before we ever heard the word "trigger." This episode holds two truths at once: yes, adults are responsible for their behavior—and the initial nervous system activation that precedes a choice is real, automatic, and not a moral failure. Episode highlights: Why the word "trigger" can feel like a life sentence to trauma survivors—and an identity assignment to the people who hurt them Rick Hanson's "first and second dart" framework and the four stages of change from unconscious incompetence to unconscious competence The critical distinction between activation and action—and why that space is where all growth lives How Richard Rohr's reframe of sin as brokenness needing healing (not judgment) connects directly to why shame never produces lasting change How shame gets installed in childhood before a four-year-old's brain can separate "I did something bad" from "I am bad"—and how ACT defusion offers a way out 00:00 Welcome and Course Plug 01:08 Listener Email and The Bet 03:33 Nick Pollard Trigger Reframe 04:57 Agreeing With Nuance 08:58 Trigger Word Cultural Weight 13:21 First and Second Darts 15:08 Four Stages of Change 21:21 Agency vs Nervous System 24:00 Pathologically Kind and Shame 26:46 Language Shapes Experience 27:18 Sin Versus Healing 28:36 Rohr Reframes Brokenness 31:08 Shame Keeps Us Stuck 31:57 How Shame Gets Installed 37:03 ACT And Defusion 40:13 Radical Acceptance Lens 41:52 Original Sin Culture Myth 46:43 Kingdom Of God Within 49:18 What We Learned Today 51:37 Closing Reflections Tony Overbay is a licensed marriage and family therapist, betrayal trauma certified, and host of The Virtual Couch, Waking Up to Narcissism, and Love, ADHD podcasts. If the idea of change through agency—not shame—resonates with you, explore Tony's Magnetic Marriage course at tonyoverbay.com/magnetic Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com

Why "Me Too" Feels Like "Not You": Stop Fixing, Start Staying

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 03 Mar 2026 04:00:00 -0500

You said, "That sounds really hard," so why is your partner still upset? It's called the Empathy Dash — that moment you touch your partner's pain just long enough to check a box, then sprint toward solutions, silver linings, or your own experience. In over 1,500 couples sessions, Tony has watched this pattern quietly erode trust while both partners swear they're trying. This episode unpacks why your empathy isn't landing, what your nervous system is actually doing when you rush to fix, and a deceptively simple practice that changes everything. In this episode, you'll discover: Why "me too" on the inside lands like "not you" on the outside — and the intent-vs-impact gap where relationships slowly erode Stealing Thunder: the real-time couples session moment that perfectly captures how sharing gets hijacked before it even lands How your Adaptive Child — the survival strategy that kept you safe growing up — is now sabotaging your closest relationship The neuroscience of co-regulation and why your calm presence does more than your best advice ever could The 3-Before-1 Rule: a concrete practice for staying present when every instinct says fix, solve, or flee Tony Overbay, LMFT, draws from over two decades of couples therapy, Terry Real's relational framework, and Dan Siegel's interpersonal neurobiology to redefine what empathy actually looks like in practice. If you've ever left a conversation thinking "I said all the right things" while your partner felt completely unseen — this one's for you. You're not broken. You just don't know what you don't know yet. 00:00 Welcome and Where to Follow 01:15 Retreat Story Mental Load Misfire 04:56 Intent vs Impact in Bids 06:08 Attack Surface and Pathological Kindness 09:37 Sequencing the Conversation 12:26 Stealing Thunder Named 17:02 Catching the Thunder Grab 18:17 Drive By Empathy Metaphor 21:03 Empathy vs Sympathy Basics 22:36 Why Optimism Can Dismiss 24:02 What Empathy Actually Does 26:58 Real Life Fixing Examples 28:39 Spotting the Empathy Dash 29:30 Why We Do It 30:12 Adaptive Child Origins 31:39 Fixer vs Avoider Examples 33:49 Co-Regulation Explained 34:44 Two Ways to Respond 37:16 Four Pillars Framework 38:11 Questions Before Comments 38:58 Curiosity in Action 42:19 Three Before One Rule 45:40 When Effort Feels Unseen 47:35 Handling Your Triggers 49:27 Closing Encouragement Get on the waitlist today for Tony's upcoming Magnetic Marriage live course! Head to https://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group.

Validation, Co-regulation, and Emotional Immaturity (with a Hint of Spirituality) w/Angela De Hoyos, ALC

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 17 Feb 2026 04:00:00 -0500

What happens when your greatest strengths—your empathy, your willingness to self-reflect, your sensitivity—become the very tools someone uses to convince you everything is your fault? In this crossover episode with therapist Angela De Hoyos, ALC, Tony explores why validation feels like survival when you were raised in an emotionally unpredictable home. You learned that love could vanish without warning—so you became hypervigilant, endlessly working to secure a connection that was never yours to earn. Now you may find yourself starving for validation from the one person who can't hold it steadily. You can learn more about Angela by visiting her website https://www.findingbalancecounseling.com/ and subscribe to her podcast “Finding Balance with Mental Health and Spirituality” here https://www.findingbalancecounseling.com/podcast EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: Understand the origins of validation: why we learn we exist through others' responses—and how that wiring gets exploited Discover why "pathologically kind" people attract emotionally immature partners—and keep trying harder when it doesn't work Recognize the trap of "if it's my fault, I can fix it"—and why that belief keeps you chasing validation instead of building self-trust Learn the crucial difference between validation and agreement—you can acknowledge someone's experience without abandoning your own Build a 90% solid sense of self so you stop outsourcing your worth to people who use it against you 00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview 01:25 Guest Introduction: Angela de Hoyos 03:16 The Magnetic Marriage Course Pitch 06:20 Understanding Validation and Emotional Immaturity 08:15 Therapeutic Insights and Parenting Dynamics 20:46 The Concept of Co-Regulation 28:40 Exploring the Concept of Existence and Value 29:05 The Story of Jill: Unpredictable Childhood 30:33 Understanding Validation and Recognition 33:50 The Role of Self-Validation 40:59 Spiritual Perspectives on Validation 51:25 Final Thoughts and Reflections Get on the waitlist today for Tony's upcoming Magnetic Marriage live course! Head to https://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic If you are interested in joining Tony's private Facebook group for women in narcissistic or emotionally immature relationships of any type, please reach out to him at contact@tonyoverbay.com or through the form on the website, HTTP://www.tonyoverbay.com If you are a man interested in joining Tony's "Emotional Architects" group to learn how to better navigate your relationship with a narcissistic or emotionally immature partner or learn how to become more emotionally mature yourself, please reach out to Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com or through the form on the website, HTTP:www.tonyoverbay.com

Duty vs. Desire: The Hidden War Inside Your Marriage

Tony Overbay LMFT — Mon, 02 Feb 2026 10:50:46 -0500

Why does your spouse get to want things while you're drowning in responsibility? That resentment you feel watching your partner pursue hobbies while you manage everything isn't petty—it reveals what Tony identifies as one of the "fundamental wounds" in modern marriages: the split between duty and desire. Through the story of Sarah and Michael—a couple weeks from divorce—Tony explores how one partner can become a pure, exhausting obligation while the other escapes into hollow pleasures. Both are starving for what the other has, but neither can see it. You'll discover why the "serpent's trick" convinces us that what we want and what we should do are enemies when they were always meant to work together. In this episode, you'll learn: Why feeling like "a machine that keeps everyone running" signals you've lost connection to your own desires—and why reclaiming them is actually part of your duty as a parent and partner The difference between discipline that crushes your soul and discipline that creates freedom (hint: it depends on whether it's aligned with your actual values or just "socially compliant goals") How asking "what can I do to help?" often puts the mental load right back on your overwhelmed spouse. Why Michael's gaming and biking felt hollow even though Sarah assumed he was "living his best life." The concept of impermanence—and why accepting that your beliefs will evolve is liberating, not threatening Tony Overbay, LMFT, draws from over 20 years of couples therapy and 1,500+ couples to share the exact framework that helped Sarah and Michael move from combat to connection. Ready to stop the cycle? Join the Magnetic Marriage waitlist at tonyoverbay.com/magnetic and learn what you don't know you don't know about reconnecting with your partner. 00:00 Introduction and Host Background 00:35 Common Relationship Challenges 01:53 The Magnetic Marriage Program 02:59 Today's Episode: Overwhelmed by Responsibilities 03:37 Meet Sarah and Michael: A Struggling Couple 03:57 Sarah's Perspective: Duty Over Desire 13:12 Michael's Perspective: Desire Over Duty 17:49 The Core Wound: Duty vs. Desire 21:50 Connecting to Universal Archetypes 28:10 Embracing Change and Growth 28:26 Embracing Impermanence 28:45 Healing Through Change 29:34 The Paradox of Certainty 29:55 Sarah and Michael's Journey 32:20 The Garden of Eden Metaphor 33:07 The Serpent's Trick 34:40 Modern Examples of Duty vs. Desire 38:00 The Role of Discipline 40:42 Integrating Duty and Desire 48:42 Personal Reflections on Duty 49:53 Values vs. Socially Compliant Goals 54:05 Sarah and Michael's Progress 56:24 Conclusion and Call to Action Get on the waitlist today for Tony's upcoming Magnetic Marriage live course! Head to https://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group.

The Power (and Struggle) of Honest Communication in Relationships - Tony Answers Your Questions

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 13 Jan 2026 09:33:17 -0500

Tony addresses a listener's question about feeling anxious due to a communication lapse with her husband. He delves deep into the nuances of relationship dynamics, emphasizing the importance of honest and continuous communication. He shares insights on how patterns in behavior reflect true priorities, touches on the significance of co-regulation, and explores how small, seemingly insignificant moments can significantly impact intimacy and connection over time. Whether dealing with newlywed issues or long-term relationship challenges, Tony provides practical advice on building trust and emotional intimacy. Submit your questions through his website, http://tonyoverbay.com 00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview 00:43 How to Submit Your Questions 01:42 First Question: Communication in Marriage 03:14 Understanding Emotional Reactions 09:09 The Importance of Co-Regulation 15:00 Selective Competence in Relationships 24:52 Intimacy and Sexuality in Marriage 30:10 Conclusion and Final Thoughts Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group. And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line. To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course

Your Goals Aren't Yours—That's Why They Don't Stick (ACT for Lasting Change)

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 31 Dec 2025 17:13:09 -0500

What if your New Year's resolutions keep failing because they were never really yours to begin with? Most goals we set aren't chosen—they're inherited from magazines, social media, parents, or that version of ourselves we think we're supposed to become. That's why they don't stick. In this episode, Tony shares his decades-long "pushup obsession" and how Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) finally broke the cycle—not through more discipline, but by discovering what actually mattered to him. What you'll learn: - Why "socially compliant goals" sabotage your motivation before you even start - The crucial difference between values (your compass) and goals (checkboxes)—and why confusing them keeps you stuck - How to use lead measures instead of lag measures to build sustainable change - The "Passengers on the Bus" technique for moving forward even when self-doubt is loud - A simple 5-step "Get Back on the Saddle" plan for when you inevitably wobble With over 20 years of clinical experience, Tony explains why you're not broken—you're human—and offers a framework for building a life that actually feels like yours. Ready to stop beating yourself up and start driving toward what matters? This might be the last resolution episode you'll ever need. 00:00 Introduction: Are Your Goals Really Yours? 00:44 Meet Tony Overbay: Your Guide to Self-Improvement 01:57 The New Year's Resolution Dilemma 04:03 The Pushup Story: A Lesson in Values 12:34 Understanding Socially Compliant Goals 15:04 Experiential Avoidance: The Trap of Avoiding Discomfort 20:26 Lag Measures vs. Lead Measures: The Key to Achieving Goals 27:28 Values vs. Goals: The Core of Sustainable Change 38:52 Perceived Value vs. Perceived Capability 40:57 Understanding Perceived Capability and Value 41:46 Corporate America and Disengagement 42:50 New Year's Resolutions and Motivation 46:18 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) vs. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) 54:47 The Power of ACT in Therapy 01:00:58 Practical Steps for Getting Back on Track 01:06:05 Embracing Emotions and Moving Forward 01:08:01 Conclusion: Driving the Bus Towards What Matters Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group. And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line. To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com

The Family Butterfly Effect: How Your Uncle Ray Changed Everything—And How You Can Change It Back

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 11 Dec 2025 08:26:05 -0500

Every family has an origin story—and it's not always the one told at holidays. In this episode, Tony explores the fascinating concept of the butterfly effect and how it applies to family systems. From a scientist's obsession with Gila monster saliva that led to Ozempic, to a wrong turn that ignited World War I, small moments can create massive ripples. But what happens when the butterfly in your family isn't an event—it's a person? Through the story of "Uncle Ray," Tony unpacks how one emotionally overwhelmed parent can set patterns that echo for decades, and how family roles—the helper, the peacekeeper, the fixer, the scapegoat—get assigned long before we're even aware of them. You'll learn about the patterns of emotional immaturity (black-and-white thinking, mind reading, magical thinking, and more) and how they show up in everyday family dynamics. Most importantly, Tony shares the hopeful truth: the butterfly effect works both ways. One person's dysfunction can ripple through generations—but so can one person's healing. If you've ever wondered how to break cycles in your own family or show up differently this holiday season, this episode is for you. 00:00 Introduction: Family Dynamics and Roles 01:05 The Butterfly Effect in Families 03:02 Crossover Episode: Emotional Immaturity and Family Systems 04:36 The Butterfly Effect: Scientific Examples 10:02 The Butterfly Effect in Family Systems 14:33 Uncle Ray: The Catalyst of Chaos 23:25 Pathological Kindness: Janet's Role 27:39 Emotional Immaturity: Patterns and Consequences 33:10 Black and White Thinking 33:40 Mind Reading and Assumed Intent 34:28 Difficulty with Accountability 35:39 Emotional Reasoning 36:35 External Validation Dependence 37:58 Magical Thinking 39:03 Managing Other People's Emotions 40:40 The Butterfly Effect in Family Dynamics 41:15 Curiosity and Emotional Maturity 43:28 Reconnecting with Uncle Dave 51:30 The Impact of Family Systems 55:55 The Cost of Emotional Immaturity 58:25 Breaking the Cycle 58:45 Setting Boundaries and Responding Differently 01:02:38 Hope and Creating Positive Ripples Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group. And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line. To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com

Stop Managing Your Partner's Emotions: How One Couple Broke Free From the Anxious-Avoidant Trap

Tony Overbay LMFT — Fri, 21 Nov 2025 09:38:24 -0500

Have you ever found yourself calculating what to say when your partner is upset—choosing words to manage their emotions rather than speaking your truth? In this episode, Tony shares the breakthrough story of a couple navigating financial betrayal and the exhausting cycle of emotional management that kept them stuck. Through Mark and Sarah's journey from reactive patterns to authentic connection, you'll discover the five elements of differentiated intimacy and why trying to make your partner "okay" with uncomfortable truths actually prevents genuine healing. Tony breaks down how anxious and avoidant attachment styles create complementary patterns of pursuit and withdrawal, and why both strategies are really about the same thing: controlling the other person's emotional state rather than being present to it. BONUS SECTION: Tony responds to overwhelming listener feedback from his recent co-regulation series by explaining the neuroscience behind Mark and Sarah's breakthrough. Learn about Ed Tronick's famous "Still Face Experiment," how childhood co-regulation failures create adult attachment wounds, and why healing requires nervous system-level change—not just better communication skills. Perfect for you if: You're exhausted from walking on eggshells or constantly pursuing connection You recognize yourself in anxious or avoidant attachment patterns You're recovering from betrayal (financial, emotional, or otherwise) in your relationship You want to understand why the same conflicts keep repeating You're curious about the neuroscience of relationship healing Topics covered: The difference between managing emotions and being present to them Five elements of differentiated intimacy in action How to hold incompatible truths without relationship collapse The anxious-avoidant trap explained through nervous system dynamics Co-regulation: from childhood patterns to adult healing Why secure attachment can be earned at any age 00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview 00:37 Imagining Relationship Scenarios 02:56 Understanding Emotional Management 03:56 Exploring Co-Regulation in Relationships 07:33 Case Study: Mark and Sarah's Financial Infidelity 13:54 Breakthrough Session: Honest Communication 21:45 The Real Work of Differentiation 23:22 Mark and Sarah's Emotional Breakthrough 24:38 Key Lessons from the Breakthrough 25:34 Managing Emotions vs. Genuine Intimacy 28:06 Questions for Self-Reflection 29:29 Understanding Co-Regulation 30:53 The Still Face Experiment 33:36 Mark and Sarah's Attachment Styles 35:54 The Anxious-Avoidant Trap 37:11 Breakthrough in Therapy 40:38 The Role of Co-Regulation in Healing 41:39 Neuroplasticity and Secure Attachment 45:48 Final Thoughts and Resources Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group. And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line. To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course You can learn more about Tony's cornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com

Why You Fell for Your Partner (and Why You Keep Fighting Them) — Part 2

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 04 Nov 2025 08:07:30 -0500

In Part 2 of Why You Fell for Your Partner (and Why You Keep Fighting Them), Tony Overbay, LMFT, continues the story of Jack and Jill — a fictional couple built from hundreds of real couples he’s worked with in therapy. But this time, the story shifts. What happens when children grow up with emotional safety, repair, and consistency? What does love look like when it’s modeled, not managed — when connection feels safe instead of chaotic? Tony explores how secure attachment is formed through co-regulation, how parents teach emotional safety through presence instead of fixing, and how those lessons echo into adulthood — shaping how we love, argue, and connect. Through rich storytelling and neuroscience-backed insights, you’ll learn: • What healthy co-regulation sounds like in real life • Why conflict in secure relationships feels safe, not scary • How consistent emotional repair rewires the brain • Why secure partners are drawn to emotional availability, not intensity • How “earned secure attachment” and therapy can break old patterns This episode isn’t just a look at what healthy relationships sound like — it’s a roadmap for how to build one. Because your past might explain your patterns, but it doesn’t have to define your future. 00:00 Introduction and Recap of Part One 01:23 Understanding Attachment Styles 02:25 Exploring Jill's Childhood 03:16 Exploring Jack's Childhood 04:58 Healthy Emotional Regulation 06:44 Jill's Healthy Emotional Development 21:10 Jack's Healthy Emotional Development 31:28 Jack and Jill's Relationship Dynamics 35:04 Healthy Communication in Relationships 36:06 The Importance of Secure Attachment 37:08 Navigating Stress and Boundaries 40:06 Conflict Resolution and Compromise 41:43 Building a Secure Relationship 52:55 The Role of Childhood in Adult Relationships 01:02:29 The Power of Therapy and Self-Work 01:08:52 Final Thoughts on Relationship Growth Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group. And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line. To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course You can learn more about Tony's cornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com

Why You Fell for Your Partner (and Why You Keep Fighting Them) pt. 1

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 29 Oct 2025 09:33:26 -0400

What if the way you love — and the way you fight — were both written long before you met your partner? Tony Overbay, LMFT, reveals how your nervous system learned to react to love, conflict, and vulnerability decades before your first date — and how those patterns still show up today. In this episode, Tony introduces Jack and Jill, a fictional couple built from hundreds of real couples he has worked with over 20 years in therapy. Their story illustrates two common attachment patterns — one anxious, one avoidant — and how they collide in the classic pursue-withdraw cycle that leaves both partners feeling unseen, unsafe, and alone. Through relatable narrative, clinical insight, and real-world examples, you’ll learn: • How childhood emotional experiences shape relationship expectations • Why your partner’s reactions can feel like rejection (even when they aren’t) • How anxiety and withdrawal both come from trying to feel safe • Why repeating the same argument isn’t failure — it’s a nervous system loop • What has to change before communication skills even matter This episode will help you finally understand why you fell for your partner… and why the very things that drew you together now drive you apart. Whether you identify with Jill’s pursuit for reassurance or Jack’s retreat into silence, you’ll start to see the deeper story inside your relationship — the one your body has been telling long before you could put it into words. Stay tuned for Part 2, where Tony will explore an entirely different path — one where emotional safety is modeled, repair is possible, and connection doesn’t have to hurt. 00:00 Introduction: The Hidden Stories of Our Reactions 00:41 Understanding Nervous System Responses 02:01 The Impact of Childhood Experiences 02:34 Modern Relationships and Nervous System Patterns 04:08 Meet Jack and Jill: A Case Study 09:09 Jill's Story: A Childhood of Emotional Instability 13:14 Jack's Story: Learning to Withdraw 16:43 Jack and Jill's Relationship Dynamics 21:18 The Pursue-Withdraw Cycle 27:23 Paths to Healing and Connection 29:44 Conclusion: Moving Forward with Awareness Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group. And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line. To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course You can learn more about Tony's cornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com

Why You're Actually Fighting With Yourself (And Blaming Your Partner)—The Psychology of Projection

Tony Overbay LMFT — Fri, 17 Oct 2025 11:21:35 -0400

Ever wonder why your partner's innocent behavior feels like a personal attack? What if the stories you're telling yourself about their intentions say more about you than about them? In this eye-opening episode, therapist Tony Overbay, LMFT, explores projection—the unconscious habit of attributing our own thoughts, feelings, and motivations to others. Through real stories from his practice, including a couple's argument over a bag of garbage and a wife accused of infidelity she never considered, Tony reveals how we're all swimming in "water" we don't even know exists. Discover why the things that trigger you most intensely often reflect your own unresolved struggles, learn the psychology behind "the lady doth protest too much," and understand how projection creates conflict in even the healthiest relationships. Tony shares practical tools for recognizing when you're projecting, explains the neuroscience behind why our brains do this, and offers actionable steps for breaking free from automatic interpretations that damage connection. What you'll learn: The difference between observation and judgment (and why it matters). How to recognize when you're projecting your own experience onto your partner. Why intense reactions are usually about you, not them. The connection between childhood survival strategies and adult projection. David Foster Wallace's "This Is Water" and what it teaches us about awareness. (You can read the full transcript here https://fs.blog/david-foster-wallace-this-is-water/) Real examples of projection in everyday relationships and public life. Three key takeaways you can use immediately to transform your communication. If you've ever thought "they should have known that would hurt me" or "they obviously did that on purpose," this episode will fundamentally change how you see yourself, your partner, and your conflicts. Because once you see the water you're swimming in, you can't unsee it—and that's where real growth begins. Perfect for: individuals in a relationship, those struggling with recurring conflicts, those interested in emotional maturity and self-awareness, and anyone seeking to understand the psychology behind their strongest reactions. 00:00 Introduction and Overview 00:44 Understanding Projection 01:36 Story Time: Real-Life Examples of Projection 06:06 Defining Projection 07:34 Historical Context and Theories of Projection 08:46 Modern Psychology and Projection 09:04 Integrating the Shadow 25:29 Projection in Everyday Life 30:48 Uncovering Hidden Struggles 31:49 The Defense Mechanism of Projection 34:18 Therapeutic Breakthroughs 37:34 Practical Examples of Projection 41:11 Understanding Our Default Settings 47:07 The Power of Curiosity and Compassion 52:59 Final Thoughts on Projection Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group. And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line. To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com

On the Other Side of the Couch: What I Learned Losing My Mom

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 23 Sep 2025 04:00:00 -0400

What happens when the person who usually has the answers finds himself sitting in the unknown? In this deeply personal episode, licensed marriage and family therapist Tony Overbay shares his raw, honest experience of losing his mother - not as a clinician offering guidance, but as a son navigating grief for the first time. Tony opens with a touching story about his mom's lifelong belief that he was a "real doctor," leading to an unexpectedly profound moment in the ICU. He then sits down with Q&A Files co-host Trisha Jamison for an unfiltered conversation about what it's really like when the helper becomes the one who needs help. This isn't a clinical discussion about the stages of grief - it's a human exploration of sitting bedside for four days, the humor that emerges in dark moments, the spiritual experiences you hope for but might not get, and why "let me know if you need anything" might not be as helpful as we think. Whether you're processing your own loss, supporting someone who is, or simply curious about what happens when life flips the script on a mental health professional, this conversation offers something real. It's messy, it's honest, and it's ultimately about being human enough to sit with the questions when you don't have all the answers. Topics covered: Grief processing, end-of-life care, family dynamics, therapeutic insights, humor as coping mechanism, supporting others in loss, acceptance and commitment therapy in practice. Content note: This episode contains frank discussions about death, dying, and the physical aspects of end-of-life care. 00:00 Introduction and Announcements 02:25 Personal Loss: The Passing of My Mom 03:44 Understanding the Role of a Therapist 06:05 A Story of Misunderstanding: My Mom Thought I Was a Doctor 15:10 A Therapist's Perspective on Grief 17:58 Conversation with Tricia Jameson: Grief and Grace 34:30 Exploring the Nature of Memory 35:54 Humor as a Coping Mechanism 38:59 Seeking Spiritual Experiences 42:07 Navigating Grief and Loss 48:26 Reflecting on Personal Growth 52:01 Supporting Others Through Grief 58:49 Concluding Thoughts and Farewell Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group. And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line. To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com

Would You Rather Be Liked—or True to Yourself? The High Cost of Integrity in Marriage, Parenting, Faith, and Work

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 16 Sep 2025 04:00:00 -0400

Would you rather be liked—or be true to yourself? It sounds simple, but what happens when staying true to your values could cost you your job, your marriage, your faith community, or your friendships? In today’s episode of The Virtual Couch Presents, Tony Overbay, LMFT, dives into the real difference between character (the traits others see in us) and integrity (the alignment of our actions with our deepest values). Through stories pulled from the legal world, faith communities, workplaces, friendships, and even the messy reality of parenting, Tony explores how external validation can pull us away from who we are—and how emotional maturity, self-determination, and values-based living bring us back home to ourselves. You’ll hear about billion-dollar law firms making impossible choices, parents navigating the tension between community expectations and their child’s authenticity, and why even a heated debate over pizza sauce in a Hot Pocket can reveal where integrity really lives. At the end of the episode, stay tuned for a short guided meditation to help you connect with your own values and discover how to live them out with integrity. And don’t miss the chance to grab a cheat sheet of this episode and Tony’s Values Exercise, a simple but powerful tool to help you start discovering who you truly are. This is not about guilt or shame. It’s about curiosity, growth, and finding the courage to live with integrity—even when it costs you. 00:00 Welcome to the Virtual Couch 00:50 The Dilemma: Being Liked vs. Being True to Yourself 01:36 Exploring Character and Integrity 02:58 Upcoming Cruise and Workshops 04:04 Character vs. Integrity: Real-Life Examples 14:14 The Legal World: Integrity Under Pressure 33:21 Self-Determination Theory and Emotional Maturity 35:53 Intrinsic Motivation and Self-Determination Theory 36:56 Autonomy, Competence, and Relatedness 37:42 External Rewards and Burnout 38:39 Real-World Examples of Integrity 39:42 Sophia's Journey to Integrity 42:16 Daniel's Struggle with Values 45:12 Integrity in Different Contexts 58:06 Faith and Integrity 01:06:15 Guided Meditation: Coming Home to Your Values Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group. And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line. To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com

How Can Change Be Funny, Scary, and Uncomfortable… and Still Be Necessary for Growth? (with Mackie Overbay)

Tony Overbay LMFT — Mon, 08 Sep 2025 13:36:59 -0400

Tony and his daughter Mackie (@beautybymackie) catch up on a lot of life. Since the last time they hit record, Mackie has navigated big career shifts, health challenges, and new adventures. Tony has faced major surgery and the loss of his mom (Mackie’s grandmother). Together, they dive into the messy, uncomfortable, and often hilarious realities of change — why our brains resist it, why it feels so daunting in the moment, and why it’s actually the engine of growth. From dad jokes about Gen Z slang to real talk about autoimmune diagnoses, resilience, and reinventing yourself, this conversation is equal parts laughter, honesty, and insight. If you’re navigating your own season of change, this episode will remind you that discomfort isn’t just survivable — it’s what shapes who you’re becoming. Follow Mackie on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/beautybymackie or Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@beautybymackie or subscribe to "The Mind, The Mirror and Me" wherever you listen to podcasts! 00:00 Welcome and Introduction 00:30 The Struggle with Change 02:16 Introducing Mackey McKinley 02:44 Life Updates and Major Changes 02:58 The Humor in Processing Change 03:25 Practical Gifts and Life Lessons 03:32 Social Media and Upcoming Events 04:10 Conversation with Mackey Begins 04:17 Casual Banter and Podcast Revival 05:56 Mackey's Career Journey 10:17 Health Challenges and Lifestyle Changes 28:21 The Concept of Healthy Ego 30:49 Defensive Ego and Feelings of Inferiority 31:10 Insecurity in Professional Settings 31:18 Hypersensitivity and Narcissistic Traits 32:01 Building a Healthy Ego 32:39 Passion vs. Obligation in Work 34:02 Personal Growth and Change 36:20 The Fear of the Unknown 38:37 The Illusion of Control 39:19 Coping with Discomfort and Growth 40:12 Therapy and Emotional Support 49:13 The Power of Pausing and Acceptance 54:13 Mackey's Wellness Journey 56:46 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Turning Negativity Into Insight: Julie De Jesus on Interviewing Kevin Franke and What the Comments Reveal About Us

Tony Overbay LMFT — Fri, 22 Aug 2025 08:27:26 -0400

Tony sits down with his friend and Love, ADHD co-host, Julie De Jesus, to unpack her recent interview with Kevin Franke, ex-husband of Ruby Franke. Ruby, the former “8 Passengers” YouTuber, pled guilty in late 2023 to multiple counts of aggravated child abuse and, along with her business partner Jodi Hildebrandt, was sentenced in February 2024 to up to 30 years in prison under Utah law. While Tony originally planned to ask Julie about Kevin, the conversation took a different turn: the tidal wave of comments Julie received after posting her interview. With humor, honesty, and therapeutic insight, Tony and Julie read through some of those YouTube comments out loud, responding in real time. They explore why people are so quick to judge, why emotions often masquerade as facts, and how online criticism reveals more about the commenter than the person being critiqued. You’ll hear candid reflections on: What Kevin’s story stirs up in people (and why) How emotional immaturity shows up in the comment section (projection, black-and-white thinking, and mistaking feelings for truth) Why leaving abusive situations is never as simple as outsiders believe The concept of “whole object relations” — holding multiple emotions at once How Julie navigated negativity while staying grounded and authentic This episode is part deep dive into psychology, part raw behind-the-scenes of content creation, and part hilarious reading of unfiltered internet comments. If you’ve ever wondered why strangers online lash out—or how to handle criticism with both compassion and boundaries—this one’s for you. 00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview 00:33 Julie De Jesus and Her Interview with Kevin Frankie 01:11 Handling Criticism and Emotional Reactions 02:40 Understanding Emotional Maturity 03:55 Navigating Online Criticism 07:40 Promoting the Upcoming Cruise 11:51 The Future of Love A DHD Podcast 12:24 Deep Dive into Kevin Frankie's Interview 21:04 Personal Reflections and Recognitions 31:30 Introduction to Kate's Family Dynamics 31:32 Exploring Religious Roles and Power Dynamics 32:23 Personal Reflections and Family Dynamics 35:00 Commentary on Interview Techniques 36:26 Debating Faith and Atheism 38:40 Addressing Online Criticism 42:20 Therapy and Personal Growth 53:05 Inner Child and Emotional Healing 01:00:02 Concluding Thoughts and Reflections Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group. And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line.

Blinded by Belief: How Your Brain Defends Its Favorite Story - Even When It's Wrong!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 07 Aug 2025 04:15:00 -0400

Have you ever tried to change someone’s mind—and watched them dig in even deeper? Or wondered why, even when you want to change your own beliefs, it feels like pushing against an invisible force? In this episode, Tony Overbay, LMFT, takes you on a journey that starts with a teenage quest for the perfect tan and ends with a powerful realization about how we construct our social realities. After sharing a personal story about undergoing a dramatic topical chemotherapy treatment for actinic keratosis, Tony reflects on how his temporarily altered appearance changed the way people interacted with him—and how it altered the way he saw himself. This experience sets the stage for a breakdown of the groundbreaking Dartmouth scar study, which revealed that the belief that you’re being judged can actually create that experience—regardless of reality. From there, Tony dives into the science of confirmation bias: how our brains are wired to seek out information that supports what we already believe, and how this cognitive shortcut influences everything from politics and religion to parenting and marriage. You’ll hear real-life examples, client stories (with details changed for confidentiality), and powerful metaphors that unpack why belief change is so hard—and why it’s also essential for personal growth, emotional maturity, and deeper human connection. 00:00 The Quest for the Perfect Tan 00:35 A Dermatologist's Warning 01:33 The Chemotherapy Cream Experience 02:27 Social Reactions to Visible Differences 05:20 The Dartmouth Scar Study 06:24 The Power of Perception 15:25 Confirmation Bias in Action 32:47 Interpreting Neutral Events 33:04 Religion and Coincidences 33:34 Selective Memory in Parenting and Beyond 34:58 Confirmation Bias in Action 36:23 Client Story: Recognizing Bias 40:32 Vaccine Hesitancy and Confirmation Bias 44:58 The Scar Study and Confirmation Bias 54:56 Evolutionary Roots of Belief Protection 57:33 Modern Challenges and Professional Competence 01:01:49 Conclusion and Listener Engagement Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group. And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line.

Live Q&A with Sydney Overbay: Perception vs. Reality, Emotional Immaturity and Growth, Faith Deconstruction, ADHD & More

Tony Overbay LMFT — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 09:06:21 -0400

What do a therapist dad, his adult daughter, and a live stream full of honest questions have in common? A raw, insightful, and often hilarious live Q&A. In this special live episode, therapist Tony Overbay, LMFT, is joined by his daughter Sydney for a candid conversation that covers everything from emotional immaturity and ADHD to family dynamics, addiction, and navigating a faith crisis. With their signature mix of warmth, wit, and psychological depth, Tony and Sydney explore how perception truly shapes reality (via the Dartmouth scar study), what it means to heal your inner child, and why we so often double down on what’s familiar—even when it no longer serves us. You’ll hear real-time questions and breakthroughs from listeners on topics like trauma, medication, parenting, and personal growth. Sydney shares her lived experience leaving a high-demand religion, and Tony offers grounded, compassionate insights on how we all carry parts of ourselves—from inner kids to "addicts"—that are doing their best to help us survive. Whether you're working through your own stuff or just love real talk about what it means to grow up (emotionally and otherwise), this episode has something for you. 00:00 Introduction and Casual Banter 00:27 Addressing Viewer Messages and Introductions 00:47 Losing and Finding the Phone 02:04 Mental Health Questions and Therapy Advice 07:08 Perception and Reality 16:48 Faith, Beliefs, and Community 27:51 Parent-Child Dynamics and Emotional Health 37:23 Personifying Addiction: Meet Andy 38:04 The Power of Self-Identification 38:51 Medication and Personal Progress 41:16 Emotional Immaturity and Childhood Adaptations 47:57 Navigating Family Dynamics and Acceptance 01:09:08 The Importance of Genuine Curiosity

The Emotional Immaturity Epidemic with Steph and Craig: Why Adults Are Stuck in Childhood Patterns

Tony Overbay LMFT — Fri, 04 Jul 2025 11:24:28 -0400

What if an entire generation is emotionally stuck in childhood—and doesn't even know it? In this compelling guest appearance on The Steph and Craig Show, Tony dives deep into what he calls "the emotional immaturity epidemic" that's quietly sabotaging relationships everywhere. Discover the hidden patterns that keep adults reacting like children: black-and-white thinking that destroys nuance, magical thinking that avoids reality, and the exhausting habit of managing everyone else's emotions instead of allowing people to have their own experiences. Through real-life examples and practical insights, you'll learn to recognize these childhood survival strategies that have become adult relationship roadblocks. Whether you're the people-pleaser who can't say no, the perfectionist who fears vulnerability, or the controller trying to manage everyone's feelings, this conversation offers eye-opening insights into how these patterns formed—and more importantly, how to outgrow them. What you'll discover: • Why emotional reasoning ("I feel it, so it must be true") sabotages relationships • How childhood adaptations become adult limitations • Practical tools for recognizing your own emotional immaturity patterns • Actionable strategies for developing genuine emotional maturity Ready to stop reacting from your inner child and start responding from your wise adult self? This episode will show you exactly where to begin. Find The Steph and Craig Show at stephandcraig.co 00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview 00:34 Guest Introduction: Steph and Craig 02:22 Emotional Immaturity Epidemic 04:18 Therapy Insights and Personal Anecdotes 05:24 Interview Begins: Revisiting Past Conversations 06:52 Emotional Weight in Relationships 09:55 Understanding Emotional Immaturity 13:02 Inner Child and Emotional Development 27:35 Black and White Thinking in Relationships 30:55 Reflecting on Past Behaviors 31:53 The Power of Language in Relationships 33:07 Understanding Black or White Thinking 34:45 Magical Thinking and Emotional Maturity 43:12 Emotional Reasoning in Adults 58:46 Navigating Faith and Personal Validation 01:00:13 The Impact of External Validation on Self-Identity 01:00:42 The Role of Accountability and Magical Thinking 01:01:16 Spiritual Perspectives on Differentiation 01:02:37 Emotional Boundaries and Responsibility 01:04:35 Navigating Emotional Charges in Relationships 01:06:48 The Journey of Emotional Maturity 01:11:30 Mind Reading and Assumptions in Relationships 01:16:10 The Continuous Learning Process 01:23:31 The Importance of Emotional Maturity 01:26:05 Final Thoughts and Call to Action Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group. And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line.

Genuine Curiosity: Not All Questions Are Equal – Are You Trying to Understand, Defend, Manipulate, or Control?

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 26 Jun 2025 13:27:29 -0400

Are you truly being curious—or just trying to win the argument? Tony explores the difference between genuine curiosity and performative questions, sharing real-life examples and tools to help you respond with emotional maturity, not reactivity. Learn how curiosity can transform your relationships. 00:00 Introduction and Host Background 01:42 Understanding Performative vs. Genuine Curiosity 02:04 A Personal Story About Curiosity 08:50 The Importance of Genuine Curiosity in Relationships 19:10 Self-Regulation and Emotional Maturity 24:18 Promoting Genuine Curiosity in Parenting 26:17 The Role of Humility in Curiosity 29:41 Healthy Ego vs. Defensive Narcissism 35:03 The Neuroscience of Decision Making and Emotions 37:06 The Power of Slowing Down 37:36 Understanding Emotions: Primary, Secondary, and Instrumental 41:02 Exploring Anger in Relationships 42:48 Trusting Your Gut and Emotional Reasoning 45:41 Addressing Men's Emotional Immaturity 48:55 Real-Life Examples of Genuine Curiosity 53:42 Parenting with Curiosity 55:09 Curiosity in Marriage and Workplace 59:47 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Tools 01:02:15 Four Pillars of a Connected Conversation 01:05:20 Final Thoughts and Takeaways Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group. And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line.

Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don’t Manage You by Ethan Kross - Virtual Couch Book Club w/Marla Christiansen, APCC

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 03 Jun 2025 09:27:40 -0400

Marla Christensen, AMFT, APCC, and Tony Overbay, LMFT, delve into Ethan Kross's "Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don't Manage You" for another installment of the "Virtual Couch Book Club." They explore emotional awareness, sensory shifts, and cultural influences on emotional well-being. Practical techniques, such as distant self-talk and the Whoop framework (Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan), are covered, offering listeners actionable strategies for emotional management. Tony opens the episode by explaining how common parental phrases, such as "it's not a big deal" or "just don't worry about it," can unintentionally hinder emotional expression in adulthood, setting the stage for struggles with managing emotions later in life. This discussion offers valuable insights for individuals seeking to understand better and manage their emotions. 00:00 A Touching Parenting Moment 02:22 Introduction to the Virtual Couch 02:31 Book Club: Managing Emotions 03:16 The Importance of Emotional Awareness 03:37 Understanding Emotional Language 04:44 The Disconnect from Emotions 06:01 Introducing Dr. Ethan Cross's 'Shift' 06:23 Meet Marla Christiansen 07:33 Exploring Emotional Concepts from 'Shift' 07:46 The Complexity of Emotions 08:05 Practical Tools for Emotional Management 08:20 The Power of Distanced Self-Talk 08:37 External Influences on Emotions 09:02 Body Awareness and Emotions 09:12 Navigating Difficult Emotions 09:24 Impact of Social Media and Cultural Factors 09:37 Appreciating Emotions as Information 10:18 Book Club Discussion: 'Shift' by Dr. Ethan Cross 10:30 Starting the Interview with Marla Christensen 11:24 Diving into Emotional Regulation 11:43 Book Club Insights and Personal Reflections 22:58 The Law of Least Work 25:01 Exploring Low-Cost Emotional Shifts 25:40 Understanding Attention and Perspective 26:10 Navigating Emotional Avoidance and Approach 27:27 The Power of Reframing 29:29 Distanced Self-Talk: A Unique Approach 31:07 Shifting Emotions Through Environment 33:44 The Role of Relationships in Emotional Shifts 37:24 Cultural Influences on Emotions 39:37 The Impact of Comparison 42:37 Practical Tools for Emotional Mastery 44:06 Final Thoughts and Resources

Childhood Survival Skills That Sabotage Your Adult Relationships - Part 2: The Path to Emotional Maturity - The Climb Out

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 27 May 2025 09:21:38 -0400

What if the very strategies that saved you as a child are now sabotaging your adult relationships? In Part 2 of Tony's series on emotional immaturity, discover why your most persistent relationship struggles aren't character flaws—they're outdated survival software still running in the background of your life. Through the powerful ACT metaphor of "The Man in the Hole," you'll understand why working harder with familiar emotional tools only digs you deeper into relationship problems. When someone offers you a ladder out of your patterns, why do you keep trying to dig with it instead? This episode reveals how to recognize when it's time to put down the shovel of old coping strategies and climb toward something completely different. Meet the clients who've made this transformation: the chronic fixer who learned to ask "what do you need from me?" instead of immediately solving, the humor-deflector who shocked a room into silence by sharing something real, and the lifelong people-pleaser whose hands shook as she said "no" for the first time—and discovered her marriage actually got stronger. You'll explore Terry Real's revolutionary insight that childhood adaptations become adult roadblocks, learn the art of re-parenting yourself with compassion instead of criticism, and discover why emotional maturity isn't about never falling into old patterns—it's about recognizing when you're there and having new tools to respond. Whether you struggle with hypervigilance, perfectionism, control issues, or people-pleasing tendencies, this episode offers a shame-free framework for honoring your inner child's brilliant survival strategies while empowering your adult self to take the lead. Because growth isn't about eliminating your protective parts—it's about expanding your repertoire of responses and choosing consciously instead of reacting automatically. Ready to stop digging and start climbing? Your ladder awaits. 00:00 Introduction and Recap 01:23 The Story of Tyler 03:53 Tyler's Realization and Therapy 09:39 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Metaphor 15:46 Revisiting Emotional Immaturity 19:30 Reparenting Yourself 25:05 Examples of Reparenting in Action 29:00 Exploring Emotional Immaturity Traits 40:54 Recognizing and Validating Emotions 42:47 Dependence on External Validation 48:54 Taking Ownership and Accountability 51:49 Mind Reading and Communication 01:03:55 Hypervigilance and Emotional Containment 01:07:12 Perfectionism and Control 01:11:49 Integration and Emotional Maturity 01:15:57 Real-Life Examples of Emotional Growth 01:22:05 The Journey of Emotional Maturity

Trapped by Trauma Bonds: A Guide for Those Suffering and Those Watching from the Outside

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 15 May 2025 13:55:25 -0400

Have you ever watched someone you care about repeatedly return to a relationship that's clearly hurting them, despite all logic and reason? Or found yourself unable to break free from a partner who alternates between cruel indifference and intoxicating affection? Tony Overbay, LMFT, comprehensively examines all of the factors at play in hopes of shining a light on understanding and ultimately healing from one of psychology's most misunderstood phenomena: trauma bonding. Tony explains how the same mechanisms that kept B.F. Skinner's rats frantically pressing a lever for unpredictable rewards are at work in toxic relationships. He explains the biological "amygdala hijack" that literally shuts down one's ability to think rationally when anxiety strikes and why well-meaning advice like "just don't worry about it" actually makes things worse through psychological reactance. This comprehensive episode covers: The neurological science behind trauma bonding and why it creates addiction-like withdrawal symptoms How childhood experiences shape our relationship with emotions and set us up for unhealthy patterns Why telling someone "don't think about it" guarantees they'll think about it more The critical difference between guilt ("I did something bad") and shame ("I am bad") Practical ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) techniques like expansion and mindfulness The powerful Buddhist salt and water metaphor for managing emotional pain Why no one—not even identical twins—experiences the world exactly as you do How to break the cycle of seeking external validation that keeps you trapped Whether you're personally experiencing a trauma bond, supporting someone who is, or simply want to understand why people stay in painful relationships, this episode provides compassionate insight and practical tools for healing. Tony's conversational style makes complex psychological concepts accessible while offering hope that with time, understanding, and the right support, you can reclaim your emotional autonomy and build healthier connections. 00:00 Introduction: The Impact of 'Say Anything' 01:21 Setting the Stage: Understanding Relationship Dynamics 01:50 Who This Episode is For 03:10 Introduction to Trauma Bonding 04:03 Welcome to the Virtual Couch 04:35 Engage with Us: Social Media and Upcoming Events 07:04 The Concept of Trauma Bonding 16:51 The Science Behind Trauma Bonding 21:25 Understanding the Amygdala Hijack 21:49 The Impact of Stress Hormones on the Brain 23:03 The Cycle of Trauma Bonding 24:21 The Ineffectiveness of Well-Meaning Advice 24:59 Psychological Reactance and the White Bear Effect 26:24 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) 28:18 The Concept of Expansion 30:05 Mindfulness and Changing Your Relationship with Thoughts 32:27 Guilt vs. Shame 34:11 Healing from Trauma Bonds 36:45 The Importance of Self-Validation 43:43 Seeking Support and Practicing Mindfulness

Pick Me Behaviors, Emotional Immaturity, and the Cost of Not Knowing Yourself: Is True Honesty in Relationships Possible? Tony and Mackie Overbay Live QA

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 06 May 2025 08:47:37 -0400

Do you avoid difficult conversations, hoping problems will magically disappear? Do you convince yourself you don’t need to write things down, because of course you’ll remember later? Or maybe you catch yourself trying to be everything to everyone… and slowly losing yourself in the process? Join Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Tony Overbay and his daughter Mackie, a licensed esthetician, and cosmetologist, and host of the podcast “The Mind, the Mirror, and Me,” for a lively and insightful live Q&A. Together, they explore the sneaky ways magical thinking and emotional immaturity show up in our lives and relationships. From assuming people should “just know” what we want, to struggling with overthinking and honesty in relationships, this conversation dives deep (with plenty of humor and personal stories along the way). You’ll also hear about: What “pick me” behavior really means and how it impacts relationships How magical thinking keeps us stuck (and how to move forward) Navigating diagnoses like borderline personality disorder and emotional immaturity Why honesty in relationships isn’t as simple as “just say it” Handling complicated family dynamics — including emotionally absent grandparents Tools like mindfulness and ACT-based techniques to help you change your relationship with your thoughts Whether you're a therapist, a parent, or simply curious about emotional growth, this honest and relatable episode will leave you thinking differently about how you show up for yourself and others. 00:00 Introduction and Technical Difficulties 00:19 Foot Talk and Live Stream Banter 01:11 Licensed Therapist Q&A Begins 01:21 Understanding Narcissistic Traits 02:06 Exploring the 'Pick Me' Phenomenon 03:20 Therapy Insights: Finding Your True Self 05:40 Addressing Borderline Personality Disorder 14:05 Magical Thinking and Emotional Immaturity 26:08 Mindfulness and Thought Observation Techniques 27:02 The Concept of Changing Relationship with Thoughts 27:32 Discussion on Honesty in Relationships 31:16 Handling Family Dynamics and Expectations 33:54 Understanding Bipolar Disorder vs. Anger Issues 37:43 The Role of Thoughts, Behaviors, and Feelings 46:03 Freudian Theories and Emotional Maturity 50:39 Final Thoughts and Viewer Questions

Childhood Survival Skills That Sabotage Your Adult Relationships: The Path to Emotional Maturity

Tony Overbay LMFT — Fri, 25 Apr 2025 08:43:56 -0400

Ever wondered why your brilliant mind can solve complex problems at work but completely breaks down during relationship conflicts? That's because those emotional reactions that feel so instinctive aren't flaws—they're actually genius survival strategies that once kept you safe. In this transformative episode, we explore how black-and-white thinking, mind-reading expectations, and external validation seeking were perfect childhood adaptations that have now become relationship roadblocks. Through the groundbreaking insight that behaviors which perfectly served us in childhood often become the very patterns that sabotage our adult relationships, you'll finally understand why you keep falling into familiar emotional patterns despite your best intentions. This isn't just another episode about relationship struggles—it's a compassionate roadmap for emotional growth that honors both your wounded inner child and your emerging adult self. You'll discover how to recognize when you're in an emotional "hole" and why continuing to dig with familiar tools only takes you deeper. Most importantly, you'll learn how to pass the baton from your protective inner child to your capable adult self without shame or judgment. Whether you struggle with people-pleasing, emotional flooding, perfectionism, or control issues, this episode offers a strength-based approach to transform these patterns into mature responses that will revolutionize your relationships and bring a profound sense of internal peace. 00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview 00:23 Listener Email: Mark's Story 01:41 Understanding Emotional Immaturity 04:47 Exploring the Emotional Maturity Spectrum 08:47 Introducing the Emotional Architects Group 09:29 Narcissistic Personality Disorder vs. Emotional Immaturity 11:08 Dinner with Daniel: A Narcissistic Narrative 15:47 Stages of Emotional Maturity 26:18 Childhood Behaviors in Adult Bodies 32:45 Understanding Emotional Blueprints 33:07 Re-parenting with Compassion 33:32 Therapeutic Insights from Fiction 34:23 Frozen Moments and Adult Relationships 35:16 Childhood Adaptations in Adult Life 36:17 Exploring Childlike Behaviors in Adults 36:57 Navigating Emotional Development 41:34 Black or White Thinking 44:43 Magical Thinking in Relationships 47:46 Emotional Reasoning and Codependency 52:32 External Validation and Accountability 55:41 Mind Reading and Projection 01:01:32 Pattern Recognition and Familiarity 01:07:12 Path Toward Emotional Maturity 01:07:52 Conclusion and Next Steps

Learning to Life Without Training Wheels: Exploring Faith, Identity, and Emotional Maturity

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 03 Apr 2025 19:09:00 -0400

Have you ever found yourself wondering, How can someone possibly believe that? Or maybe you've questioned your own beliefs after bumping up against someone else's certainty? You're not alone. In this episode, Tony Overbay, LMFT, dives into the complexities of perception, truth, and emotional maturity. He explores how individuals often encounter differing viewpoints—especially in today’s social media-driven world—and how those experiences can lead to frustration, confusion, and even self-doubt. Using concepts like Umwelt and the importance of distinguishing between objective facts and subjective experiences, Tony offers insight into how each person’s unique background and personal history shape the way they see and move through the world. Through personal stories and reflections, he emphasizes the power of curiosity, empathy, and openness in building real, meaningful connections. Tony also shares parts of his own professional and spiritual journey, including the impact of his faith crisis, and how discomfort can often become a catalyst for deep personal growth. He reflects on the therapist-client relationship, unpacking the balance between professional boundaries and genuine emotional connection. And as always, Tony encourages listeners to embrace curiosity, hold healthy boundaries, and continue showing up as their most authentic selves. 00:00 Introduction: The Frustration of Misunderstanding 02:11 Exploring the Concept of 'Truth' 03:08 Host Introduction and Social Media Presence 04:21 Personal Story: Spinal Surgery Experience 05:26 Diving into the Topic of 'Truth' and Perception 07:15 The German Concept of Umwelt 12:22 Faith Journeys and Personal Perceptions 14:41 Emotional Maturity and Sense of Self 27:53 Job Interviews and Authenticity 32:13 Case Study: Spiritual Expectations 35:42 Thriving Without Sleep 35:52 The Faith Crisis Hits 35:59 Understanding the Pendulum Swing 36:15 Unique Faith Journeys 37:06 Embracing Personal Growth 37:25 The Beauty of Diverse Faith Outcomes 37:48 Navigating Faith Deconstruction 38:42 The Reframe: Moving Forward 38:53 Faith in Yourself and God 39:06 Riding Without Training Wheels 39:31 Respecting Different Journeys 40:04 The Hero's Journey 40:21 Helping Others Through Faith Crisis 40:56 Developing a Strong Sense of Self 41:29 Working with Faith Leaders 42:03 Emotional Immaturity in Faith Communities 42:41 The Power of Parables 43:14 Unspoken Pressures in Religious Settings 43:44 The Hypothetical Couple: Jack and Jill 45:59 Humanistic Therapy Principles 47:46 Intermittent Reinforcement and Trauma Bonding 48:58 The Four Pillars of a Connected Conversation 50:57 Separating Observations from Judgments 56:25 The Therapist's Emotional Journey 58:06 The Paradox of Therapy 01:02:11 Navigating Discomfort in Relationships 01:04:20 Concluding Thoughts and Encouragement

Mental Health Unplugged: From Narcissism to Personal Growth - Mackie Joins Tony for a TikTok Live QA

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 18 Mar 2025 15:36:31 -0400

Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, author, speaker, and podcast host, welcomes viewers to an engaging TikTok Live session. Joined by his daughter Mackie, Tony answers questions on various topics including relationships, mental health, and narcissism. They discuss the concept of the shadow self, the 'Let Them' theory, handling emotional triggers, and the importance of differentiation in relationships. Tony offers advice on dealing with controlling siblings, building clientele as a therapist, managing ADHD and its effects, and overcoming trust issues in relationships. They also touch on practical self-care tips and the journey of personal growth, using real-life examples and interactive discussions with their audience. 00:00 Welcome to TikTok Live 00:10 Introducing the Hosts 00:16 Engaging with Viewers 02:12 Discussing the Shadow Self 04:55 Exploring Family Dynamics 05:51 Romantic Relationships and Vulnerability 06:35 Understanding Emotional Reactions 08:07 Differentiation and Parental Influence 09:59 Setting Boundaries with Parents 10:47 The 'Let Them' Theory 15:20 Dealing with Emotional Regression 17:29 Navigating Breakups and Grief 20:43 Control and Mental Health 22:16 Book Recommendations for Couples 24:09 Making Small Changes for Big Impact 29:56 Managing Depression and Anxiety 31:43 Understanding and Accepting Anxiety 32:28 Facing Fears and Building Connections 33:43 Navigating Negative Environments 38:22 Inner Critic and Self-Acceptance 42:00 Challenges in Therapy and Relationships 01:01:59 Dealing with ADHD and Rejection Sensitivity 01:05:20 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Universal Lessons from Grief: Ashlee Boyson, Author of One Day - A Child’s Journey Through Grief and Loss

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 12 Mar 2025 03:14:00 -0400

When Ashlee Boyson answered her door at age 28 to find detectives bearing unimaginable news—her husband murdered, an affair revealed—she became a widow with five children including a six-week-old baby. In this powerful episode of the Virtual Couch, Tony Overbay, LMFT, explores how this defining moment led Ashlee to become not just a survivor, but a guide for others navigating grief's complex terrain. Her groundbreaking book "One Day: A Child's Journey Through Grief and Loss," illustrated by her daughter Bostyn, takes a revolutionary approach by deliberately omitting facial expressions and colors—creating space for authentic emotions rather than prescribing how one "should" feel when grieving. Beyond the book, Tony and Ashlee dive into the messy truth of grief—how contradictory emotions can coexist, why well-intentioned comfort often invalidates emotional reality, and practical strategies for creating genuine healing. With moments of unexpected laughter amidst profound wisdom, they explore how Ashlee's journey led her to develop courses on infidelity and widowhood, practice foot zoning, and most importantly, help parents understand that there's no "right way" to grieve. Whether you're personally experiencing loss or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers a masterclass in compassionate presence and emotional intelligence that transcends age, making it essential listening for anyone seeking to process grief authentically. 00:00 Introduction and Announcements 01:35 Introducing Ashley Boyson 02:10 Ashley's Incredible Story 03:27 Ashley's Journey Through Grief 03:54 Discussing Ashley's New Book 12:04 The Healing Power of Foot Zoning 17:40 The Importance of Emotional Awareness 26:35 Addressing Children's Emotional Pain 27:06 Recognizing and Validating Emotions 27:45 Personal Experiences with Suppressed Emotions 28:52 Navigating Grief and Loss 30:33 Complex Emotions and Healing 31:30 The Importance of Open Communication 32:25 Balancing Past and Future Fears 34:11 Encouraging Emotional Expression in Children 35:51 Handling Grief Triggers 43:45 The Role of Truth in Healing 46:21 Final Thoughts and Resources

Taking the Scenic Route to Connection: Steph and Craig Salazar on How to Heal Individually Together

Tony Overbay LMFT — Sat, 01 Mar 2025 11:46:34 -0500

What happens when two first responders fall in love, face career, life, and faith crises, and embark on a radical journey of healing? How do couples navigate from survival mode to genuine connection after years of chaos and trauma? Tony welcomes Steph and Craig Salazar, the authentic couple behind the popular podcast "The Steph and Craig Show." What begins as a reunion of newfound friends quickly transforms into a profound exploration of relationship transformation, personal growth, and the messy beauty of healing together. Steph and Craig share their remarkable journey from meeting as a police officer and dispatcher to becoming relationship content creators who are changing lives through radical vulnerability. They don't hold back as they discuss the chaos of their early relationship—blending families, career crises, mental health struggles, and the imbalanced dynamics that nearly tore them apart. Listen as they reveal the pivotal moments that shifted their path: Craig's life-changing men's retreat that Steph secretly feared might end their relationship, Steph's breaking point in her dispatch career and her courageous pivot to follow her dreams, and how they both found healing through therapy, spiritual practices, and even psychedelic-assisted healing experiences. This conversation isn't about relationship experts who have it all figured out. It's about two people who've "taken the scenic route" through life's challenges, hitting every obstacle along the way, and discovering that true connection happens when we heal individually first. Whether you're facing relationship challenges, navigating career transitions, or doing your own healing work, this episode offers profound insights wrapped in genuine, heartfelt conversation. Steph and Craig's mission to create a mirror where others might see themselves and feel less alone in their struggles shines through every moment of this unforgettable discussion. Join Tony, Steph, and Craig for a conversation that proves we're all healing together—one vulnerable step at a time. The Steph and Craig Show is available at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-steph-craig-show/id1742462702 or wherever you listen to podcasts, as well as on YouTube. You can find the episode that Tony references on their show at https://youtu.be/n_LiTO_nt5w?si=GAmnZF3rFdh7QPFH 00:00 Introduction and Welcome 01:07 Special Guests: Steph and Craig 01:49 The Transformative Podcast Episode 02:22 Authenticity and Vulnerability 03:35 The Journey of Steph and Craig 04:03 Career Transitions and Challenges 04:39 The Scenic Route to Healing 07:30 Magic and Connection 10:04 Meeting and Early Relationship 12:02 Navigating Careers and Personal Growth 22:28 Curiosity About Life Changes 23:32 Spiritual Awakening and Energy Healing 24:28 Journey with DreamPod and Financial Stability 25:44 Stephanie's Career Shift and Personal Growth 28:49 Balancing Masculine and Feminine Energies 33:19 Men's Retreat and Emotional Connection 44:12 Therapy and Healing Together 48:45 Current Focus and Future Plans **Show Notes:** - How Steph and Craig met in law enforcement and blended their families - The career crisis that sent Craig into depression and changed their trajectory - Why Steph thought sending Craig to a men's retreat might mean the end of their relationship - Their journey through energy healing, spiritual awakening, and finding authentic connection - How individual healing created the foundation for relationship transformation - The role of therapy, MDMA-assisted healing, and psychedelics in their growth - Their transition from couples coaching to content creation focused on vulnerability - Tony's reflections on masculine/feminine energy and the burdens in relationships **Keywords:** relationship transformation, healing, vulnerability, law enforcement trauma, men's work, couples therapy, psychedelic healing, content creation, authentic connection

From Fairy Tale to Real Life: A Marriage Therapist's Raw Take on the Journey from "I Do" to "What Now?"

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 20 Feb 2025 09:38:35 -0500

Every couple starts their marriage journey with hearts full of hope and eyes bright with optimism. But what happens when the fairy tale meets reality? In this compelling episode of the Virtual Couch, marriage therapist Tony Overbay takes listeners on an intimate journey through the evolution of marriage, sparked by his observation of a young newlywed couple, Hannah and Cody, during a recent podcast interview. Drawing from over 20 years of experience as a marriage therapist, Tony bridges the gap between those magical early days and the complex reality that many couples face years into their marriage. He addresses the common refrain of "just wait until..." that many newlyweds hear, while offering hope and practical tools for couples at all stages of their relationship. Key insights include: - The power of intentional curiosity in long-term relationships - Why emotional maturity matters more than initial chemistry - The critical balance between self-care and partner care - How to maintain individual growth while nurturing your relationship - The four pillars of connected conversation that can transform your communication Tony shares vulnerable moments from his own 34-year marriage journey, demonstrating how the principles he teaches aren't just theoretical—they're battle-tested. He tackles the delicate balance between maintaining individual identity and building a strong partnership, offering practical insights for both newlyweds and seasoned couples. Whether you're basking in newlywed bliss like Hannah and Cody or navigating the complexities of a decades-long partnership, this episode provides a roadmap for understanding how to evolve together while maintaining the spark that brought you together in the first place. Tony's unique perspective helps couples understand that while change is inevitable in marriage, it doesn't have to mean growing apart—it can mean growing together in new and deeper ways. This episode is essential listening for: - Newlywed couples wanting to build a strong foundation - Long-term couples seeking to reconnect or deepen their bond - Anyone curious about the real journey from romantic love to lasting partnership - Couples wanting practical tools for better communication and understanding Join Tony as he unpacks these insights and more, offering both hope and practical strategies for couples at any stage of their marriage journey. Follow the Q&A Files Podcast on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/1k2Oh4rY9VCp1tVeu14dxk?si=a39537613900475b Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-q-a-files/id1730736061 or wherever you listen to podcasts. 00:00 Introduction and Podcast Overview 01:52 Reflecting on Marriage and Personal Experiences 03:42 The Importance of Communication in Relationships 05:42 Premarital and Newlywed Counseling Insights 06:59 Four Pillars of a Connected Conversation 11:15 Navigating Discomfort and Growth in Relationships 19:52 Intentionality and Integrity in Commitments 23:22 Embracing Change and Curiosity in Marriage 25:49 Expressing Authenticity 26:00 Navigating Online Dating 28:01 The Game of Emotional Immaturity 28:44 The Challenge of Authenticity in Dating 30:07 Saying 'I Love You' 32:38 Psychological Flexibility in Relationships 39:06 The Importance of Self-Care 42:56 Boundaries and Pathological Kindness 45:07 Choosing Love Daily 46:53 Conclusion and Future Topics

The Self-Care Paradox: Why Putting Yourself First Isn't Selfish and Is “Healthy Narcissism” a Thing? Live QA w/Tony and Mackie Overbay

Tony Overbay LMFT — Mon, 17 Feb 2025 03:30:00 -0500

What happens when you walk face-first into a wall at the movies? For therapist Tony Overbay, it led to a deep discussion about relationships, self-worth, and the challenges of being true to yourself in a world that often demands conformity. In this engaging episode of The Virtual Couch, Tony is joined by his daughter Mackie for their regular Sunday night Q&A session. After sharing a humorous story about his movie theater mishap (complete with butterfly stitches), they dive into profound conversations about relationships, mental health, and personal growth. The episode explores the concept of "normal" versus "pathological" narcissism, with Tony breaking down Eleanor Greenberg's research on how healthy ego differs from defensive narcissism. They discuss how true confidence comes from actual accomplishments rather than a fragile facade of superiority. A significant portion focuses on the challenges of maintaining authenticity in relationships, particularly when dealing with emotional immaturity. Tony explains how many people lose themselves trying to make others happy, and the importance of choosing self-care first - not as an act of selfishness, but as a necessary foundation for genuine connection. The father-daughter duo tackles numerous listener questions, covering topics like: - Setting healthy boundaries versus giving ultimatums - The impact of being a "scapegoat" in family dynamics - Dealing with betrayal trauma and infidelity - The struggles of highly sensitive people (HSP) - Navigating relationships with emotionally immature partners - The challenges of being authentically yourself in a society that often rewards conformity Throughout the episode, Tony emphasizes the importance of differentiation - developing a strong but flexible sense of self while maintaining connections with others. He provides practical advice for listeners struggling with various relationship challenges, including resources for finding affordable therapy and support groups for those dealing with emotionally immature partners. The conversation weaves together clinical insights with personal experiences, creating an authentic and relatable dialogue that helps listeners understand they're not alone in their struggles. Tony and Mackie's natural rapport adds warmth and accessibility to complex therapeutic concepts, making them more digestible for a general audience. 00:00 Introduction and Setting the Scene 01:06 Super Bowl and Halftime Show Reactions 02:30 Movie Theater Mishap and Story Time 07:10 Relationship Dynamics and Self-Care 11:47 Understanding Narcissism and Healthy Ego 17:34 Questions from the Audience 41:14 Navigating the Online Dating World 41:50 The Struggle of Authenticity in Relationships 43:20 The Journey of Emotional Growth 47:22 Dealing with Narcissistic Relationships 53:54 The Importance of Setting Boundaries 01:11:12 Overcoming Trauma and Seeking Therapy 01:14:15 Confronting Relationship Challenges 01:19:59 Final Thoughts and Resources

Breaking Social Barriers: Enhancing Confidence with Autism Support - w/Karla Gragg and Sarah Bailey

Tony Overbay LMFT — Sat, 15 Feb 2025 10:32:38 -0500

Tony welcomes sisters Sarah Bailey and Karla Cragg, who share a passion for enhancing the social lives of individuals with autism. They introduce their Breaking Social Barriers PEERS program, an evidence-based social skills training course designed specifically for young adults on the autism spectrum. Their program is based on UCLA’s acclaimed PEERS treatment model, the only research-backed method proven to help young adults with autism form and maintain meaningful friendships. Sarah and Karla provide an inside look at their curriculum, which offers practical strategies for entering, maintaining, and exiting conversations—along with other essential social skills that set individuals up for success. They emphasize the importance of honoring autistic individuals' authenticity while equipping them with the social tools they may need. The conversation also explores key topics such as the differences between autism and highly sensitive person (HSP) traits, the impact of diagnosis and labeling, and the increasing demand for targeted social skills training. Tune in to discover how Sarah and Karla’s approach is making a profound difference in the lives of autistic individuals—whether formally diagnosed or self-identified. Learn more about their evidence-based programs at BreakingSocialBarriers.com. 00:00 Welcome to the Virtual Couch 01:11 Diving into Autism Awareness 02:22 Carla's Journey into Autism Education 05:31 Introducing the Peers Program 08:27 Navigating Social Skills for Young Adults 12:44 Understanding Autism and Neurodiversity 20:43 Navigating Social Interactions with High Functioning Autism 21:27 Teaching the Art of Trading Information 23:30 The Importance of Evidence-Based Social Skills Programs 25:18 Addressing Loneliness and Social Isolation 26:24 Course Structure and Content 29:43 Role Playing and Practical Applications 35:56 Enhancing Authentic Social Interactions 38:29 Conclusion and Contact Information

The Evolutionary Superpower of Highly Sensitive People: How HSP Differs from Autism (and Does it Matter?)

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 11 Feb 2025 10:44:00 -0500

Have you ever been told you're 'too sensitive' or that you need to ‘get over it,’ or ‘don’t worry about it,’ but that only causes you to worry more, or feel less connected to others, or even yourself? Or have you been told that your sensitivity must mean you're on the autism spectrum? Or are you on the autisim spectrum and can you also identify with many of the characteristics of Highly Sensitive People? With over 2.2 million views and hundreds of comments on recent viral videos about Highly Sensitive People (HSPs), it's clear this topic strikes a nerve. Drawing from his experience working with both HSPs and individuals with ASD, Tony dives deep into why these distinct experiences are often confused - and why understanding the difference isn't just interesting, it's essential for creating a more empathetic world. Through viral video statistics, personal anecdotes, and real-world examples, he breaks down how HSPs (representing 15-20% of the population) and individuals with ASD navigate life differently. From sensory processing to social dynamics, discover why that deep emotional processing might actually be an evolutionary advantage rather than a disorder. Along the way, the discussion explores how ADHD and NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) intersect with these experiences. This episode provides crucial insights into recognizing, understanding, and supporting both HSPs and individuals with ASD. Whether questioning your own experiences or trying to better understand someone else's, listeners will find the clarity and validation they've been seeking. Perfect for anyone who's ever felt misunderstood about their sensitivity or confused about where they fit in the neurodiversity spectrum. Join Tony for an eye-opening discussion that might just change how you see yourself - or someone you love." 00:00 Welcome and Introduction 00:30 The Viral Video on Highly Sensitive People 01:04 Behind the Scenes: Social Media Stats 02:05 Addressing Misconceptions and Personal Insights 03:26 A Personal Anecdote: The Butterfly Bandage 04:12 Responding to Drive-By Comments 04:29 Understanding Highly Sensitive People (HSP) vs Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) 07:27 Story Time: Sarah and Michael's Interaction 18:57 The Evolutionary Purpose of High Sensitivity 21:39 Traits and Characteristics of Highly Sensitive People 29:17 Challenges Faced by Highly Sensitive People 33:59 The Importance of Curiosity and Understanding 35:30 Understanding Human Uniqueness 36:22 Fascinating Facts About Human Preferences 37:22 The Complexity of Sensitivity 39:20 Exploring Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) 40:49 Comparing HSP and ASD Sensory Experiences 54:50 Social Interactions: HSP vs. ASD 01:00:47 Nonverbal Communication Differences 01:04:26 Emotional Energy and Social Fatigue 01:08:05 Final Thoughts and Listener Engagement

Trisha Jamison, Host of the Q&A Files Podcast on Overcoming Emotional Immaturity for Better Relationships

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 04 Feb 2025 15:54:53 -0500

Have you ever tried selling a grand piano on Facebook Marketplace? Our latest episode of the Q&A Files kicks off with some personal tales of downsizing and the hilarious adventures that come with it. Join us as Trisha Jamison, a board-certified functional nutritionist, and Tony Overbay, a licensed marriage and family therapist and seasoned podcaster from The Virtual Couch, and Waking Up To Narcissism, discuss these issues for Tony's podcast, The Virtual Couch. Trisha and Tony discuss emotional immaturity and narcissistic traits and offer a path to healthier relationships. We share our own journeys of growth and healing to show how. This episode delves into the challenges of navigating emotionally complex relationships and the power of validation. Whether dealing with resistance from a partner or unlocking the transformative potential of self-awareness, our candid discussions aim to provide fresh perspectives and practical strategies for listeners who might be walking similar paths. Join us next time as we discuss how to keep your relationships fresh by talking to a newlywed couple who are just as cute as can be! Follow the Q&A Files Podcast on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/1k2Oh4rY9VCp1tVeu14dxk?si=a39537613900475b Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-q-a-files/id1730736061 or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Anxious or Avoidant? Why Your Relationship Patterns Repeat & How to Change Them (Part 1)

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 30 Jan 2025 08:27:47 -0500

Are you tired of repeating the same relationship patterns? Whether it's constant worry about abandonment or a tendency to keep people at arm's length, these behaviors - known as attachment styles - aren't set in stone. In part one of this two-part series, therapist Tony Overbay examines the science of attachment theory, tracing its development from John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth's pioneering "Strange Situation" experiment to current research demonstrating how people can actually change their relationship patterns. Through clinical examples and accessible explanations, Tony breaks down how early experiences with caregivers create blueprints that influence adult relationships - and more importantly, why these patterns can evolve. Tony explains how understanding attachment style connects to emotional maturity and self-awareness. Listeners will learn about different attachment patterns, how they manifest in daily life, and why these early-developed patterns aren't a reflection of personal failure - they emerged before conscious choice was possible. This episode provides the foundation for a deeper exploration of attachment style change and relationship transformation. For anyone dealing with trust issues, abandonment fears, or struggles with emotional intimacy, the discussion offers concrete insights into becoming more secure in relationships. Part 2 will delve into specific strategies for building secure attachments and showing up differently in relationships. As Tony often says, "You're not broken, you're human" - and humans have a remarkable capacity for growth. 00:00 Welcome Back and New Beginnings 00:28 Understanding Narcissism and Emotional Maturity 02:05 Personal Struggles and Emotional Growth 04:40 Podcast Updates and Future Plans 06:59 Introduction to Attachment Theory 10:06 The Strange Situation Experiment 12:28 Attachment Styles and Their Impact 17:25 Early Childhood and Relationship Templates 21:04 Avoidant Attachment in Adulthood 22:07 The Painful Dance of Intimacy 23:52 The Role of Fathers in Attachment 24:37 Presence and Radiance: A Father's Influence 26:18 Emotional Safety and Consistency 29:31 Navigating Emotions and Independence 39:53 Challenges of Absent Fathers 44:12 Healing Attachment Wounds 44:33 Conclusion and Next Steps Find more from Tony Overbay: TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@virtualcouch Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/virtual.couch/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft/ Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-virtual-couch/id1275153998 Website: https://www.tonyoverbay.com/ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/virtualcouch To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Live Q&A with Tony and Sydney - Navigating Mental Health: Highly Sensitive People, Narcissism, Emotional Immaturity, ADHD, and “Good Therapy”

Tony Overbay LMFT — Mon, 20 Jan 2025 10:42:43 -0500

In this special bonus episode of The Virtual Couch, host Tony Overbay, a licensed marriage and family therapist, is joined by his daughter Sydney for a live Q&A session originally aired on TikTok. The duo addresses a variety of mental health topics, including ADHD management, the importance of setting realistic New Year's resolutions, and how to navigate emotional boundaries in relationships. Listeners can learn about the differences between CBT and ACT therapy, how to handle emotional immaturity and narcissism in relationships, and practical strategies for dealing with ADHD, such as medication and increasing emotional tolerance. Tony and Sydney also discuss complex emotional topics like disassociation, rejection sensitivity, and the impact of childhood defense mechanisms on adult behaviors. For those unable to join live, the episode is available on Tony's Virtual Couch YouTube channel. Viewers are encouraged to submit their mental health questions for future episodes. 00:00 Welcome to The Virtual Couch 01:18 Live Q&A Introduction 02:37 Discussing New Year's Resolutions 03:36 Understanding Socially Compliant Goals 04:44 Experiential Avoidance Explained 05:31 Setting Realistic Goals 08:06 Addressing ADHD and Rejection Sensitivity 12:02 Navigating Emotional Immaturity in Relationships 18:08 Falling in Love Outside of Marriage 21:15 ADHD and Attachment Styles 23:35 Gaslighting: A Childhood Defense Mechanism 28:41 The Impact of ADHD Medication 42:10 Addressing Basic Needs 42:22 Exploring Non-Stimulant ADHD Medications 43:53 Understanding the Window of Tolerance 46:10 Thoughts on TMS Therapy 47:49 Discussing DPDR Disorder 49:25 Cognitive Behavioral Therapy vs. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy 52:36 Navigating Emotional Sensitivity and Boundaries 57:00 Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder 01:00:00 The Role of Therapy and Validation 01:11:07 Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) Traits 01:20:33 Concluding Thoughts and Q&A Find more from Tony Overbay: TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@virtualcouch Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/virtual.couch/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft/ Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-virtual-couch/id1275153998 Website: https://www.tonyoverbay.com/ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/virtualcouch

I Feel Like... No, Wait, Actually I Think That… The Hidden Language of Emotions

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 12 Dec 2024 10:03:48 -0500

Tony exposes something that will forever change how you hear conversations - including your own. That moment when someone says, 'I feel like you don't care' might not actually be about feelings at all..." Have you ever said "I feel like this isn't working," when what you really meant was, "I think this isn't working - and I'm scared"? In this eye-opening episode, Tony delves into the subtle but powerful difference between thoughts and feelings, revealing how this common confusion shapes our relationships in unexpected ways. Through engaging stories from his therapy practice, Tony shows how something as simple as saying "I feel like" when we mean "I think" can accidentally put others on the defensive and hide our true emotions. You'll discover why that matters more than you might think - especially in your closest relationships. Drawing from both clinical experience and relatable examples (including a story about forgotten tacos at a dinner party), Tony explores: - Why we often mask our true feelings behind thoughts - How childhood experiences shape our comfort with emotional expression - The surprising reason self-compassion feels threatening to many people - Practical ways to build a richer emotional vocabulary Once you understand this pattern, you'll start noticing it everywhere - in your conversations, in others' speech, and maybe even in your own internal dialogue. Visit Tony's new website https://tonyoverbay.com for additional resources on emotional intelligence and join his Patreon community at https://patreon.com/virtualcouch for exclusive content and Q&A sessions where you can dive deeper into these insights. This isn't just another episode about communication - it's about understanding why we hide our true feelings and how to finally express what we really mean. Find more from Tony Overbay: TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@virtualcouch Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/virtual.couch/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft/ Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-virtual-couch/id1275153998 Website: https://www.tonyoverbay.com/ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/virtualcouch 00:00 Welcome to The Virtual Couch 00:52 Understanding Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms 01:20 Exciting Announcements and Facial Hair 03:07 Unseen Patterns and Hidden Meanings 05:49 The Power of Confirmation Bias 08:58 Thoughts vs. Feelings: A Therapy Insight 17:33 Emotional Vocabulary and Childhood Influences 23:20 Separating Observations from Judgments 24:03 Witness vs. Lawyer: A Car Accident Case 24:44 Applying the Concept to Relationships 25:39 Curiosity Over Judgment 27:15 Workplace Communication 29:37 The Taco Story: A Lesson in Self-Compassion 34:56 The Impact of Self-Criticism 39:13 Embracing Psychological Flexibility 40:57 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

The Balancing Act: Self-Esteem vs. Self-Compassion

Tony Overbay LMFT — Fri, 06 Dec 2024 08:23:29 -0500

Are you tired of the endless pursuit of perfection? Do you question why your self-esteem seems more tied to others' opinions than your own self-worth? In this transformative episode, Tony explores the crucial difference between self-esteem and self-compassion, drawing from Dr. Kristin Neff's groundbreaking research. Through personal experiences and scientific insights, Tony challenges our cultural obsession with self-esteem, revealing why the constant pressure to be "above average" creates an impossible and unhealthy standard for well-being. Learn how self-compassion offers a more sustainable path to genuine self-acceptance through its three core components: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. Tony delves into the fascinating neuroscience behind mindfulness practices, explaining how they physically rewire our brain for greater emotional regulation and self-awareness. Drawing from Viktor Frankl's profound insights as a Holocaust survivor and author of "Man's Search for Meaning," Tony illustrates how finding meaning in our struggles can transform our relationship with ourselves and others. This episode provides both the scientific framework and practical tools needed to develop self-compassion in daily life. Whether you struggle with perfectionism, find yourself caught in comparison traps, or simply want to develop a more stable sense of self-worth, you'll discover why self-compassion offers all the benefits of high self-esteem without its potential downsides. Join Tony as he shares actionable strategies for transforming your relationship with yourself and finding peace in the simple truth that you're not broken - you're human. 00:00 Introduction and Personal Story 01:46 The Therapist's Dilemma: Hope vs. Reality 04:33 Exploring Self-Esteem and Self-Compassion 07:01 The Impact of Comparison and External Validation 11:02 Value-Based Goal Setting and Radical Acceptance 13:08 Parental Support and Secure Attachment 15:25 Listener Insights on Self-Esteem 16:32 Embracing Self-Compassion 23:22 Seeking Validation and Self-Compassion 24:16 Confessions of an Ultramarathoner 26:18 Accepting Mediocrity in Running 29:19 The Power of Self-Compassion 33:25 Mindfulness and Self-Kindness 35:19 A Personal Podcasting Challenge 39:21 Viktor Frankl's Wisdom on Meaning 45:23 The Journey of Self-Compassion

Smiling But Sad: Decoding Persistent Depressive Disorder, Dysthymia, “Eeyore Syndrome” w/BONUS Medication Analogy and Thanksgiving Talk Topics

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 28 Nov 2024 11:14:45 -0500

Tony delves into smiling depression, medication, and natural ways to improve brain chemistry, Persistent Depressive Disorder (PDD), formerly known as dysthymia- and much more! NOTE - Tony is not a doctor, and he shares a helpful way of how medications work that was explained to him, including what neurotransmitters are. What roles do serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine, GABA, and glutamate play in one's mental health, and why do so many of the medications involve “reuptaking,” and what does that mean? Tony’s advice is not to be viewed as a replacement for medical advice; he strongly recommends that people meet regularly with their doctor for medical advice. Tony explores the differences between various mental health conditions like PDD, OCD, NPD, and more. He also explores the historical context of dysthymia, the changes in diagnostic criteria with the release of DSM-5, the significance of moving the diagnosis from a personality disorder to a mood disorder, and how the two differ. Additionally, we will discuss treatment options, including therapy and medication, and more practical advice for those struggling with chronic low-grade depression. This episode is packed with insights and is a perfect listen before Thanksgiving for some psychological fun facts to share around the family table. Find more from Tony Overbay: TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@virtualcouch Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/virtual.couch/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft/ Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-virtual-couch/id1275153998 Website: https://www.tonyoverbay.com/ Link Tree: https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Chapters: 00:00 Decoding the Alphabet Soup of Mental Health 02:12 Introduction to the Podcast and Host 02:38 Understanding Dysthymia & Persistent Depressive Disorder 04:44 DSM & ICD: Mental Health Diagnostic Tools 15:54 Personality Disorders vs. Mood Disorders 22:51 Exploring the History & Impact of Dysthymia 25:41 Causes and Management of Persistent Depressive Disorder 28:24 Role of a Muse in Self-Discovery 29:02 Impact of Stress on Mental Health 29:13 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy 29:33 Understanding Your Emotions 30:28 Treating Persistent Depressive Disorder 31:36 Science Behind Neurotransmitters 33:43 How Reuptake Inhibitors Work 45:50 Natural Ways to Improve Brain Chemistry 47:17 Understanding Dysthymia 51:07 Your Journey of Personal Growth

From Self-Judgment to Self-Compassion: A Guide to Emotional Resilience w/Nate and Marla Christensen

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 14 Nov 2024 09:17:05 -0500

Tony welcomes guests Nate and Marla Christensen to discuss the concept of self-compassion. Nate is an ALPC, and Marla is an ALPC and AMFT. They delve into the groundbreaking research of Kristen Neff, who has spent 20 years studying the benefits of self-compassion, including its effects on PTSD, anxiety, depression, and overall mental health. The episode explores the three main components of self-compassion—mindfulness, self-kindness, and common humanity—and addresses common misconceptions such as self-compassion being viewed as weakness, self-indulgence, or selfishness. They share personal insights and clinical experiences, making a compelling case for incorporating self-compassion into daily life and therapy. Nate and Marla are both currently working under Tony's license, and both currently have openings in their schedule. To reach Nate, email him at natechristensencounseling@gmail.com, and for Marla, email marlachristensencounseling@gmail.com, or you can contact them through Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com. You can view Nate and Marla's episode on LeadingSaints.org here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=0f9P-Xk5ZaE 00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview 02:46 Guest Introduction: Nate and Marla Christensen 02:53 Discussing Self-Compassion 03:45 Nate and Marla's Professional Background 08:16 The Importance of Self-Compassion 14:25 Common Misconceptions About Self-Compassion 17:04 Scientific Insights on Self-Compassion 25:25 Historical Context and Recent Research 27:27 Exploring Self-Compassion 28:32 Understanding Mindfulness 30:59 Practicing Self-Kindness 32:52 Embracing Common Humanity 34:58 Motivation Through Self-Compassion 35:53 Challenges in Self-Compassion 39:14 Cultural Perspectives on Compassion 41:11 Reparenting and Emotional Maturity 45:52 Final Thoughts and Reflections

Anxiety, Aging, and Emotional Autonomy: I Was "This Many Years Old" When I Learned My Parents Were Regular People

Tony Overbay LMFT — Mon, 28 Oct 2024 03:30:00 -0400

Have you ever wondered why your aging parent suddenly needs to arrive an hour early for everything? Or why, after knowing them your entire life, they suddenly appear to be trying to exert control and order at a level that you’ve never experienced? In today’s episode of The Virtual Couch podcast, Tony Overbay, LMFT, takes us on a fascinating journey through the human brain, starting with the incredible story of Phineas Gage - the man who survived an iron rod through his head and lived to tell the tale (though he wasn't quite the same person afterward). From there, he dives into something most all of us are impacted by, either directly or through someone that we care about - anxiety. But not just any anxiety - we're talking about why our caveman's brains are still trying to protect us from tigers in the parking lot and how this shows up differently as we age. Tony breaks down the fundamental differences between normal aging, dementia, and Alzheimer's in a way that finally makes sense. Tony then breaks down a listener's email about their father’s increasingly anxious behaviors. Tony unpacks powerful tools for handling these delicate family situations. Tony introduces the acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) principle of psychological flexibility (think yoga for your emotions) and shares David Schnarch's “4 Points of Balance” to becoming more differentiated, which helps you maintain your sanity while staying connected to those you love. Tony explains Schnarch’s 'crucible' as the transformative space where relationships grow or crack under pressure. Whether you're dealing with an aging parent, a challenging relationship, or just trying to understand why people do what they do, this episode offers the “why” behind our anxious and controlling behaviors and practical ways to navigate life's complicated relationships without losing yourself. 00:00 The Incredible Story of Phineas Gage 04:04 Introduction to the Virtual Couch 05:38 Listener's Email: Concerns About Aging Parent 07:40 Understanding Anxiety and Its Evolution 14:57 Distinguishing Dementia and Alzheimer's 17:33 Coping with Aging and Anxiety 24:50 Practical Advice for Managing Anxiety 24:59 Reframing Perspectives 25:09 Empathy and Understanding 25:25 Intentional Conversations 25:55 Meeting Halfway 26:12 Choosing Your Battles 26:54 Boundaries vs Ultimatums 27:12 Psychological Reactance 30:22 Differentiation and Emotional Autonomy 32:57 Four Points of Balance 38:30 Constructing Your Crucible 44:43 Final Thoughts and Takeaways To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Navigating Societal Expectations, Faith Crisis and Personal Growth - the Allegory “Off the Beaten Path”

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 23 Oct 2024 08:25:38 -0400

Tony Overbay, LMFT explores themes of faith journeys, parental expectations, communication, differentiation, and self-discovery through an allegorical story titled 'Off the Beaten Path: Finding Love and Self in a World of Conformity.' The narrative follows a young man named Ansel, who grapples with societal expectations, familial pressures, and his journey toward self-acceptance. Through meaningful encounters and introspection, Ansel learns to embrace his individuality amidst traditional, religious, and cultural norms. This episode also highlights the importance of personal integrity the challenges of navigating faith and family systems, and encourages listeners to explore their unique talents and values. Tony invites the audience to share their stories and questions about their own faith and family journeys for future episodes. 00:00 Welcome and Introduction 01:17 “Not My Job” song by: Riley Hope 02:48 The Power of Writing and Poetry 05:26 Exploring Allegories 06:44 Off the Beaten Path: Ansul's Journey Begins 12:14 Ansul's Struggles and Self-Discovery 16:17 Meeting Maris: A New Connection 17:52 Seeking Guidance: Ansul's Dilemma 18:31 Ansul's Realization and Self-Acceptance 19:00 Building a Relationship with Maris 20:42 Themes of the Allegory: Individuality vs. Conformity 22:32 Exploring Faith and Doubt 22:53 Coming of Age and Self-Discovery 23:30 Truth, Knowledge, and Intergenerational Expectations 25:34 Curiosity, Love, and Acceptance 26:38 Personal Growth Through Discomfort 27:19 Diversity of Thought and Self-Acceptance 29:24 Navigating Difficult Journeys of Faith and Family 31:00 Encouragement for Personal Growth and Authenticity 33:02 Conclusion and Call to Action To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Navigating Life's Curveballs: Mackie Overbay on Hashimoto's, Health Challenges, and Embracing Uncertainty

Tony Overbay LMFT — Mon, 23 Sep 2024 04:30:00 -0400

McKinley “Mackie” Overbay, host of “The Mind, the Mirror, and Me,” and Tony Overbay, LMFT, return after a significant hiatus to discuss numerous life updates, including their recent move to Arizona and Mackie's health journey with Hashimoto's disease. They delve into the struggles and triumphs of losing 55 pounds, the importance of self-love, and the necessity of balancing mind and body health. The conversation touches on the challenges of diet, exercise, meditation, and maintaining consistency. It's a candid look at personal transformation, resilience, and the importance of understanding and caring for oneself amidst life's unpredictable challenges. 00:00 Introduction and Opening Banter 00:25 Welcome Back and New Beginnings 01:18 Social Media and Personal Updates 03:21 Discussing Past Episodes and Themes 05:25 Weight Loss Journey and Health Challenges 07:25 Understanding Hashimoto's Disease 11:21 Reflections on Self-Worth and Body Image 14:20 Diet Changes and Lifestyle Adjustments 24:18 Thyroid Health and Medical Insights 27:56 Understanding Perimenopause and Hormonal Changes 28:16 Unexpected Balloon Incident 28:54 Recognizing and Addressing Health Issues 30:39 The Journey to Diagnosis 32:13 Lifestyle Changes and Their Impact 34:21 The Importance of Consistency and Motivation 35:51 Managing Inflammation and Dietary Adjustments 37:21 Exercise and Weight Loss Strategies 39:37 The Role of Meditation and Mindfulness 48:14 Embracing Self-Worth and Positivity 53:02 Concluding Thoughts and Reflections To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Pathological Kindness: When Caring, Trying, and Empathizing Too Much Can Be Bad For Your Health

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 11 Sep 2024 08:59:31 -0400

Do you find yourself constantly putting others' needs before your own? Have you ever wondered if being "too kind" could actually be harmful to your relationships and well-being? In today’s crossover episode - Tony Overbay, a licensed marriage and family therapist, explores the complex concept of pathological kindness in relationships. Through a listener's letter from 'Cleo,' Tony delves into the challenges faced by those who prioritize others' needs to their detriment, often rooted in childhood experiences of being the family peacemaker. Cleo's story highlights issues with her emotionally inconsistent partner, Ray, unveiling the struggles of living with someone emotionally immature or narcissistic. Tony discusses recognizing these patterns, including the role of cognitive dissonance and trauma bonding in maintaining unhealthy relationships. He explores how highly sensitive people (HSPs) may be particularly vulnerable to these dynamics. The episode emphasizes the importance of developing a stable core identity, setting boundaries, and balancing kindness with self-care. Tony also touches on the challenges of breaking free from intermittent reinforcement in relationships and recognizing and trusting one's own perceptions. He stresses the role of therapy and self-awareness in breaking free from unhealthy cycles and fostering emotionally mature relationships while also offering hope to those who recognize themselves as the emotionally immature partner and want to change. 00:00 Introduction and Podcast Promotion 01:19 Introducing Cleo's Story 03:16 Cleo's Relationship Struggles 10:38 Understanding Pathological Kindness 16:28 The Impact of Pathological Kindness 21:36 Balancing Kindness and Self-Care 25:09 Exploring Self-Reliance and Its Pitfalls 25:24 The Dual Nature of Optimism 25:40 Understanding Humility and Self-Deprecation 26:26 The Complexities of Honesty 27:09 Patience vs. Passivity 27:24 Competence and Arrogance 28:00 Cleo's Relationship with Ray 29:04 The Struggle of Highly Sensitive People 29:48 The Challenge of Leaving Toxic Relationships 33:23 The Cognitive Dissonance and Trauma Bonding 45:04 The Importance of Self-Care and Boundaries 46:03 Encouragement for Personal Growth To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that g

Finding Harmony in Uncertainty: Musician Ian McConnell on Navigating a Faith Transition, Acceptance, and Self-Discover

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 14 Aug 2024 10:50:28 -0400

Tony talks with musician Ian McConnell. Ian kicks off his “Primary Source” tour this Thursday, August 15th, in Dallas, TX, and will visit 25 more spots around the country (tickets for Ian’s “Primary Source” tour can be purchased through his website https://www.ianmcconnellmusic.com). Ian opens up about his journey in the music industry, touring experiences, and personal struggles. They discuss everything from car troubles and pandemic life to faith deconstruction and mental health therapy. Ian shares his approach to writing meaningful songs that resonate with listeners, his views on human purpose, and the emotional highs and lows of social media success. The episode offers a deep dive into Ian's creative process and the challenges of maintaining authenticity and self-care in a demanding industry. Tune in for an introspective and engaging conversation on living a good life, mental health, and the power of music. You can find Ian on all popular social media platforms. 00:00 Introduction and Casual Conversation 00:38 Desert Life and Moving to Phoenix 01:20 Touring Experiences and Plans 02:59 Existential Crisis and Songwriting 04:09 Faith Deconstruction and Personal Growth 06:45 The Pursuit of Happiness and Validation 15:41 Nashville and Country Music Journey 24:09 Pandemic Challenges and TikTok Success 25:35 Diving into Music and Social Media 26:30 Navigating Roommate Tensions and Relationships 27:26 Exploring Emotional Immaturity and People-Pleasing 30:50 The Rush of Social Media Fame 31:40 Creating Music Independently 34:02 Reflecting on Mental Health and Therapy 35:23 Releasing Music Like a TV Show 37:34 Analyzing Lyrics and Personal Experiences 45:56 The Joy and Nerves of Performing Live 46:57 Wrapping Up and Future Plans To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Shame: The Self-Absorbed, Selfish, Uninvited Guest at Your Self-Esteem Party (and how to get them to leave!)

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 07 Aug 2024 09:14:01 -0400

Tony Overbay, LMFT, tackles an emotion we've all felt but rarely discuss: shame. Have you ever wondered why shame feels so personal, so all-consuming? Could it be that shame is actually... selfish? Inspired by a pivotal scene from the Apple TV series 'Presumed Innocent', Tony unravels the tangled web of shame and guilt. He asks: What if our shame is holding us back more than we realize? Is it possible that by focusing on our shame, we're actually being self-absorbed? Tony dives deep into the origins of these complex emotions and their surprising impacts on our personal growth and relationships. He offers practical strategies for recognizing and overcoming shame, emphasizing the power of self-awareness and acceptance. But here's the kicker - what if shame isn't just about you? Tony explores how understanding shame can transform our empathy and support for others. He challenges listeners to question: Are we using shame as a shield when it's actually a barrier to genuine connection? Whether you're grappling with your own feelings of shame or trying to support someone who is, this episode promises insights that could change how you view yourself and others. Ready to unmask shame and discover a path to authentic self-esteem? In this episode of 'The Virtual Couch,' host Tony Overbay shares his transformative epiphany from watching the Apple TV series 'Presumed Innocent.' He dives into the profound distinctions between shame and guilt, using a key scene from the show as a focal point. Tony explores how these concepts relate to personal growth and therapy, offering practical tools and insights to help listeners better understand and manage their own experiences with shame. This episode aims to foster a healthier relationship with oneself and promote emotional awareness and self-compassion. 00:00 Introduction and Epiphany 00:51 Setting the Stage: Presumed Innocent 01:53 The Epiphany: Guilt vs. Shame 02:39 Exploring Discomfort and Reactions 04:20 Understanding Shame and Its Origins 07:38 The Selfishness of Shame 19:30 Implicit Memory and Thought Patterns 25:59 Transforming Negative Thoughts 26:24 Creating Space for Positive Experiences 27:30 The Journey of Changing Your Internal Landscape 29:36 Understanding and Managing Discomfort 32:01 The Concept of First and Second Darts 32:49 Stages of Growth and Self-Awareness 39:12 The Role of Shame and Guilt 42:42 Applying Compassion and Empathy 45:13 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Breaking Free from the Mirror: Developing a Secure Sense of Self

Tony Overbay LMFT — Fri, 12 Jul 2024 11:50:58 -0400

Who are you? How do others view you? And why do we care so much about what others think of us, especially when they probably aren't spending as much time thinking about us as we think they are? When they do think about us, they see us through their own lens. It’s time to discover who you are. So, how exactly do you do that? Tony Overbay, LMFT, reads a heartfelt letter from a long-time listener, Jamie, who is struggling with issues in her marriage and recognizing patterns from her childhood that affect how she interacts with her spouse and children. Tony explores the concept of the 'Looking Glass Self' by Charles Horton Cooley, discussing how our self-identity is shaped by our perceptions of how others view us. He explains how these early experiences impact our self-esteem and relationships, using examples from listeners and clients. Tony introduces the modern-day concept of the 'reflected sense of self' from David Schnarch's theories of differentiation and provides practical advice on overcoming the need for external validation, forming healthier attachments, and developing a stable self-identity. Join Tony as he navigates these deep psychological concepts and offers insights into creating more emotionally secure and fulfilling connections. 00:00 Listener's Heartfelt Letter 02:31 Introduction to Episode 424 03:10 Exploring the Concept of the Mirror 03:29 Charles Horton Cooley and the Looking Glass Self 09:00 Real-Life Examples of the Looking Glass Self 16:16 Differentiation and Emotional Independence 16:57 Balancing Connection and Individuality 18:47 The Reflected Sense of Self 27:00 Understanding Identity and Self-Worth 27:55 The Role of External Validation 29:25 Parent-Child Dynamics and Conditional Love 30:53 Emotional Neglect and Its Impact 33:21 Attachment Styles and Emotional Support 40:13 The Concept of Shame and Guilt 46:26 Overcoming Childhood Wounds 49:35 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Shame, Certainty, Memory and Healing: An Updated Approach to Treating Betrayal Trauma

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 05 Jun 2024 08:06:03 -0400

Tony Overbay, LMFT, and Marla Christensen, AMFT, APCC, dive deep into the complexities of betrayal trauma, focusing on the emotional and cognitive challenges faced by both partners. They explore how the betrayer's shame and fragmented memories often lead to staggered disclosures, which can further traumatize the betrayed partner. Over time, understanding the flawed nature of memory, the impact of shame, our desire to alleviate discomfort at almost any cost, and the human need for certainty is crucial. By developing emotional regulation, better communication skills, and a deeper understanding of oneself and each other, couples can approach the formal disclosure process with less pain, more intention and compassion, and potentially more realistic expectations. This discussion highlights the importance of patience, education, and therapeutic support in healing betrayal trauma. Tony shares the continuing evolution of his therapeutic approach for working with betrayal trauma, building off of his work with hundreds of couples over the past decade. Tony emphasizes the need to intentionally delay full disclosure until a strong foundation of emotional skills and mutual understanding is built. He explains how therapists must remain differentiated and confident in their methods to guide couples through this challenging process. By focusing on the concepts of memory, certainty, emotional immaturity, and effective communication, Tony and Marla offer valuable insights for anyone navigating the painful path of betrayal trauma. If you are interested in contacting or working with Marla, you can contact her at marlachristensencounseling@gmail.com 00:00 Welcome Back to the Virtual Couch 00:24 Understanding Dual Licensing 01:50 The Licensing Exam Experience 02:31 Introducing the Controversial Theory on Betrayal Trauma 03:39 The Concept of Formal Disclosure 06:34 Personal Experiences with Staggered Disclosure 09:15 Confabulation and Memory Mechanisms 15:55 Therapeutic Approaches to Betrayal Trauma 19:03 Recognizing Signs of Discouragement 20:48 The Two-Choice Dilemma 22:46 Understanding Memory and Its Challenges 27:10 The Quest for Certainty in Relationships 34:39 The Concept of Lying and Its Implications 36:19 Final Thoughts and Reflections

Expectations and Emotions: A Ballet of Balance and Bliss

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 28 May 2024 09:00:00 -0400

Understanding the interplay between expectations and emotions can not only help you stay more grounded, but it can also significantly impact your relationships in a positive way. In this episode, Tony delves into the art of managing expectations and emotions to foster healthier connections with others. Tony explores the detrimental effects of unhealthy coping mechanisms such as pornography, food, or overworking and provides valuable resources for those struggling, including his Path Back recovery group and upcoming emotional maturity courses. He breaks down the intricate relationship between expectations and emotions, explaining how they influence our reactions and interactions. Tony emphasizes the importance of mindfulness, flexibility, and clear communication in navigating these dynamics. Through engaging narratives, Tony illustrates how expectations and emotions can either work in harmony or clash, offering practical advice on emotional regulation and psychological flexibility. Tune in to learn how to manage your inner experiences better and cultivate more fulfilling relationships. 00:00 Introduction to the Virtual Couch Podcast 00:36 Exploring the Path Back Recovery Group 01:02 The Complex Dynamics of Shame and Relationships 01:44 Navigating Emotional Needs and Relationship Dynamics 04:24 Understanding Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms 08:09 The Importance of Emotional Maturity and Tools for Growth 09:42 Expectations vs. Emotions: A Deep Dive 23:17 Navigating Discomfort and Unmet Expectations 23:48 The Healing Dialogue: Emotions Meet Expectations 25:08 Personal Journey: From Tech to Therapy 27:39 Embracing Discomfort for Growth 35:39 Managing Expectations to Foster Emotional Well-being 38:17 The Power of Acceptance and Psychological Flexibility 41:16 Emotional Regulation: Techniques and Tools 43:50 Concluding Thoughts on Growth and Self-Compassion To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Having the Courage to Connect: How to Develop Independence Within a Relationship

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 24 Apr 2024 10:18:17 -0400

Tony Overbay, LMFT, discusses the critical role of differentiation in personal development and relationship growth. Sharing the story of a couple, Lisa and Mike, Tony illustrates how unresolved childhood dynamics can lead to emotional stagnation and superficial interactions in adulthood. He delves into the concepts of differentiation and emotional maturity, drawing on the theories of psychologists Murray Bowen and David Schnarch to explain how individuals can maintain their sense of self while fostering deep, meaningful connections with others. Tony offers actionable insights on embracing individuality, managing emotional reactivity, and the importance of self-soothing for achieving a balanced and fulfilling relationship dynamic. 00:00 Welcome to the Virtual Couch: Introductions and Announcements 01:20 Unpacking Emotional Baggage: Lisa and Mike's Story 04:27 The Dynamics of Disagreements: Analyzing Conflict Patterns 07:40 Embracing Discomfort for Growth: A Therapeutic Perspective 12:59 Understanding Differentiation: A Deep Dive into Emotional Maturity 18:52 From Bowen to Schnarch: Exploring Theories of Differentiation 22:20 Applying Differentiation: Real-Life Implications and Strategies 24:20 Breaking Familial Patterns and Emotional Systems 25:00 The Impact of Parental Emotions on Children 27:05 Exploring Schnarch's Concepts on Differentiation 28:19 Applying Differentiation in Relationships 32:24 The Importance of Emotional Maturity and Self-Work 35:24 Navigating Relationship Dynamics and Individual Growth 39:47 Embracing Differentiation for a Fulfilling Relationship 43:22 Practical Takeaways for Personal and Relationship Growth To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

From Therapy Couch to Moving Trucks: A Tale of Change Through ALL the Uncomfortable Feelings!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Fri, 12 Apr 2024 07:45:47 -0400

Tony shares his recent experiences with change, moving, and personal growth. Tony discusses the unexpected lessons learned from moving out of his home after 25 years, selling items on Facebook Marketplace, dealing with moving trucks, and the psychology of facing unknown challenges. He reflects on how accepting and navigating through the discomfort of change has provided opportunities for growth and understanding. Tony emphasizes the importance of mindfulness, making decisions amidst uncertainty, and the value of experiencing life's twists and turns. This episode encourages listeners to embrace change as a pathway to self-discovery and personal development. Tony references the article "Your Brain Thinks Change is a Good as Rest" by E. Paul Zehr, Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/black-belt-brain/202210/your-brain-thinks-change-is-as-good-as-rest 00:00 Welcome to the Virtual Couch: A Dive into Change and Personal Growth 00:39 The Therapist's Couch: More Than Just Furniture 01:59 Embracing Change: Personal Stories and Professional Insights 02:20 The Move to Arizona: A Catalyst for Reflection and Growth 06:41 Understanding Fatigue: Physical and Mental Aspects 22:47 The Power of Discomfort in Personal Growth 25:03 Procrastination and the Promise of Change 25:24 Exploring Fatigue: Internal vs. External Causes 27:16 The Personal Journey of Embracing Change 28:06 The Power of Meditation and Mindfulness 30:19 Moving Adventures: Decluttering and Preparing 34:26 Navigating the Real Estate and Moving Process 39:14 Learning from the Unexpected: Sales and Acceptance 46:53 Reflections on Growth, Decisions, and Mental Health To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Death By a Thousand Cuts VII - The Rise of the Emotionally Mature!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 20 Mar 2024 14:36:14 -0400

In the 7th installment of the "Death by a Thousand Cuts" series, Tony Overbay, LMFT, presents a compelling crossover episode between The Virtual Couch and Waking Up to Narcissism. This episode delves into the complex journey of healing and empowerment for individuals who have survived relationships characterized by emotional immaturity, narcissism, and controlling behavior. Through a blend of personal narratives and expert analysis, Tony shares the nuanced and significant harm inflicted by the 'Death by a Thousand Cuts' phenomenon—a metaphor highlighting the cumulative effect of repeated emotional injuries from narcissistic and emotionally immature partners. Addressing key issues such as emotional abuse, coercive control, financial abuse, sexual abuse within the relationship, manipulation, boundaries vs. ultimatums, and the critical need for self-validation, Tony provides listeners with practical coping strategies. These strategies underscore the importance of self-reflection, seeking professional guidance, and engaging with supportive communities as vital steps in shedding the lingering effects of controlling relationships. This episode aims to reassure listeners that they are not isolated in their experiences of unhealthy relationships. It also serves as a resource for those seeking to support family members entangled in abusive dynamics, offering insight into effective ways to provide meaningful support beyond mere words of encouragement. Tony seeks to empower listeners to recognize their inherent worth and foster healthy, mature connections by advocating for relationships grounded in respect and empathy. 00:00 Welcome to the Crossover Episode: Unpacking Narcissism and Emotional Immaturity 00:37 Why Today's Episode Matters: Exploring 'Death by a Thousand Cuts' 01:58 Moving Week and Virtual Client Opportunities 03:58 Understanding Emotional Cuts and Their Impact 05:58 The Challenge of Seeking Validation and Understanding 09:24 Creating Supportive Spaces for Emotional Growth 12:36 Diving into Real-Life Stories of Emotional Immaturity 23:49 The Frustrating Dynamics of Emotional Immaturity in Relationships 33:57 Navigating the Complexities of Emotional Immaturity and Narcissism 34:54 The Emotional Toll of Unvalidated Feelings 36:07 Navigating Emotional Safety in Relationships 36:19 The Subtle Manipulations of Emotional Abuse 37:00 Parenting Amidst Emotional Manipulation 38:29 Understanding the Impact of Emotional Abuse Through Stories 46:33 The Role of Pornography in Emotionally Immature Relationships 01:00:43 Financial Control and Emotional Abuse 01:07:45 Finding Healing and Empowerment

The Therapist's Guide to Strengthening Relationships Through Self-Discovery (Differentiation) and Connection (EFT/4 PIllars)

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 14 Mar 2024 14:28:44 -0400

Tony navigates the intricate balance that defines successful partnerships: the harmony between deep emotional connections with your partner and the pursuit of individual growth. Drawing from the principles of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and the Crucible Approach, with an emphasis on self-differentiation, he shares his own growth experience as a couples therapist over the past 15 years as he has learned how these two aspects—often seen as opposing forces—can complement and enhance each other within a relationship and provide therapists with a more robust toolkit to use when working with couples with a variety of attachment styles, and backgrounds. Tony explains that facilitating relationship growth is akin to performing a delicate balancing act, where maintaining a close bond with your partner and fostering personal development are both crucial. EFT offers insights into creating a nurturing and supportive environment, encouraging couples to open up and strengthen their emotional ties. On the other hand, the Crucible Approach emphasizes the importance of individuality and self-growth, urging partners to preserve their unique identities even as they grow closer together. Tony shares practical advice and strategies for couples at any stage of their relationship, aiming to make the concepts of emotional connection and personal growth accessible and actionable. He shares how to cultivate a relationship that embraces unity and individual strength, leading to a more dynamic, supportive, and fulfilling partnership. 00:00 Welcome and Introduction: The Journey of a Therapist 00:39 Diving Into Emotional Architects: A New Approach to Men's Emotional Growth 01:53 Exploring Healthy vs. Unhealthy Egos in Relationships 05:56 The Evolution of Couples Therapy: From No Secrets Policy to Emotional Honesty 12:19 Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) vs. The Crucible Approach: A Therapist's Perspective 22:09 Blending EFT and The Crucible Approach: A New Paradigm in Couples Therapy 30:57 Attachment Theory and EFT: Understanding Relationship Dynamics 33:05 Exploring Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples 40:19 Deep Dive into Crucible Approach: A New Perspective on Therapy 40:51 Differentiation and Personal Growth: A Crucial Element in Relationships 44:38 The Crucible Method: Transforming Sexual Intimacy and Personal Growth 47:08 Facing Conflict Head-On: The Crucible Approach to Relationship Challenges 49:54 Applying Differentiation to EFT Concepts: A Comparative Analysis 01:08:48 Conclusion: Embracing Growth and Self-Discovery in Relationships To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Spoiler Alert: “NO!” to the question “Is God Disappointed in Me?” — Author Kurt Francom’s New Book!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 05 Mar 2024 16:59:17 -0500

Tony Overbay, LMFT, welcomes Kurt Francom, the executive director and podcast host of Leading Saints ([Leading Saints](https://www.leadingsaints.org)). Kurt's first book, "Is God Disappointed in Me: Removing Shame From the Gospel of Grace," is available on Amazon ([Amazon Link](https://amzn.to/49BYUCk)). In a candid admission, Tony shares his emotionally immature reaction upon discovering Kurt's book through a third party, revealing the concocted narratives in his head about their relationship, with Kurt unknowingly cast as the villain. The revelation of Tony's oversight in missing a crucial recording sent by Kurt months earlier brings to light the miscommunication that unwittingly altered their friendship dynamic. Peace is restored Through their conversation, and their bond of best friendship is reaffirmed. The discussion then shifts to Kurt's book, delving into the intricate concepts of ego and identity. They explore the notion of a healthy ego, the pervasive quest for validation, and how living for an identity differs fundamentally from living from an identity that has been validated by divine grace. Kurt highlights the identity paradox, suggesting that receiving grace allows us to extend it more freely. He references Carl Rogers, stating, "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can begin to change." This acceptance is seen not as a form of apathy but as a mindful acknowledgment that paves the way for genuine personal transformation. Kurt deepens the conversation by asserting that recognizing our inherent validation from God enables us to cultivate a meaningful relationship with Him. This evolution occurs not because of our deeds but due to our intrinsic value and identity. 00:00 Introduction and Casual Banter 00:33 Discussing Kurt Francom's New Book 01:34 Exploring the Concept of Acceptance 02:20 Reflecting on Personal Experiences and Challenges 03:26 The Importance of Validation and Acceptance 04:59 Unpacking the Imposter Syndrome 06:25 The Role of Repentance in Personal Growth 08:13 Understanding the Impact of Misunderstanding God 10:00 The Power of Acceptance in Personal Transformation 12:06 The Journey of Repentance and Turning to God 13:42 Conclusion: The Power of Acceptance and Repentance 22:10 Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms and Their Impact 22:42 The Role of Validation in Our Lives 23:37 The Struggle for Acceptance and Validation 24:42 The Power of God's Love and Validation 25:31 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Differentiation 26:48 The Importance of Embracing Change and Growth 28:03 The Role of Ego in Our Personal Development 28:38 The Power of Grace and Forgiveness 29:40 The Struggle with Validation and Recognition 30:07 The Journey of Writing a Book 31:21 The Power of Curiosity and Openness in Learning 32:20 The Role of Identity in Our Spiritual Journey 34:16 The Importance of Acceptance and Self-Respect 35:35 The Power of Differentiation and Self-Awareness 37:46 The Struggle with Defensive Narcissism 39:42 The Power of Acceptance and Self-Validation 41:44 The Journey of Self-Reflection and Growth 43:14 The Power of Humility and Self-Acceptance 44:06 The Journey of Writing and Publishing a Book 45:17 The Power of Authenticity and Self-Expression 45:55 The Importance of Embracing Change and Uncertainty 46:46 The Power of Self-Acceptance and Self-Love To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Understanding Grief, Loss, Growth, and Rebuilding w/Marla Christensen, AMFT

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 28 Feb 2024 17:00:47 -0500

Marla Christensen, AMFT, APCC, joins Tony on the Virtual Couch to discuss dealing with grief and loss. Marla is a new associate working with Tony. Marla received her master's degree in clinical psychology from Pepperdine University. She shares her passion for her work in mental health counseling and touches on her own personal experience about shifting from being a stay-at-home mom to a counselor following a divorce. Marla discusses her approach to dealing with grief and loss in clients, which she shares as an inescapable human experience. She elaborates on the stages of grief as proposed by Elizabeth Kubler Ross, shedding light on David Kessler’s addition of the sixth stage, 'reconstruction/rebuilding'. Emphasizing the subjectivity of the grieving process, Marla recommends being compassionate, patient, and welcoming toward one's emotions throughout. She also talks about the role of religion and spirituality in helping individuals rebound quickly from grief due to the sense of community they provide. Marla and her husband, Nate Christensen, APCC, host the podcast “Working Change,” which you can find wherever you listen to podcasts or visit https://blubrry.com/workingchange. Marla has a few openings and can be reached directly at marlachristensencounseling@gmail.com, or you can reach out to Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com 00:00 Introduction and Welcoming Marla 00:22 Getting to Know Marla: Her Journey into Therapy 01:20 Marla's Early Years and Path to Therapy 02:20 Marla's Podcast and Mental Health Advocacy 03:08 Marla's Experience with Grief and Loss 04:11 The Impact of Life Experience on Therapy 05:58 Understanding Grief and Loss 08:50 The Stages of Grief 27:42 The Role of Religion and Spirituality in Grief 30:08 Final Thoughts and Advice on Navigating Grief To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

A New Perspective on Modern Parenting: Living in the Present (aka Herding Cats)

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 20 Feb 2024 16:26:17 -0500

Tony Overbay, LMFT, offers an in-depth exploration of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and The Nurtured Heart Approach (NHA) to provide a fresh perspective on mindful parenting. The discussion centers around the transformative power of NHA's "Stand 1," which advocates for focusing energy on celebrating children's successes rather than engaging in negative behavior. Additionally, Tony explains the ACT principle of "acceptance," emphasizing the importance of embracing our present experiences without judgment to cultivate a compassionate and supportive family environment. The episode also delves into the Buddhist "First and Second Darts" metaphor, teaching parents how to mitigate distress by managing their reactions to challenging parenting situations. Through practical examples and strategies, Tony demonstrates how these principles can be applied to everyday challenges, such as defiance and fostering positive behaviors. By focusing on these core concepts, the episode aims to empower parents with actionable advice to strengthen their connections with their children, highlighting the critical role of presence and engagement in the parenting journey. 00:00 Introduction: A Letter from a Fan 00:37 The Journey of Parenting: Realizations and Challenges 02:41 The Power of Acceptance in Parenting 03:06 Welcome to the Virtual Couch: Episode 415 03:27 The Overwhelm of Parenting: A Therapist's Perspective 05:19 The Nurtured Heart Approach: A Parenting Model 05:40 The Impact of Social Media on Parenting 12:03 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy in Parenting 15:52 Practical Scenarios: Applying the Nurtured Heart Approach and ACT 22:11 Embracing the Chaos: Nurtured Heart Approach and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy 22:49 Understanding the Concept of First and Second Dart Reactions 23:25 Applying the First and Second Dart Concept in Parenting 27:12 The Power of Mindfulness and Acceptance in Parenting 30:59 The Brain's Desire for Certainty and Avoidance of Discomfort 37:01 Embracing Uncertainty and Accepting Experiences 38:06 The Power of Living in the Present Moment 38:48 Final Thoughts and Takeaways Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25 . https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Live Relationship QA w/Sydney Overbay II

Tony Overbay LMFT — Fri, 16 Feb 2024 09:15:34 -0500

This description and the show notes are brought to you directly from AI, Sydney, and I truly wouldn't sound so silly! This dialogue-based presentation dives deep into the complexities of mental health and interpersonal relationships. With therapy experiences, personal observations, and explored topics ranging from narcissism, ADHD, and addiction to marriage and parenting, Tony and his co-host Sydney guide the audience through poignant discussions. Key concerns include asserting oneself in relationships, dealing with alcoholics, recognizing psychopathic traits, and handling personal issues such as adult ADHD and depression. The conversation also delves into the potent combination of medicine and therapy while exploring the nuances of 'emotional baseline' and its elevation through the usage of medication. 00:04 Introduction and Welcome 00:44 Live Relationship Q&A: Narcissism, Marriage, Parenting, ADHD, Addiction 01:17 The Awkward Start of the Live Session 01:28 Casual Conversation: Therapy, Parenting, and Narcissism 02:02 Deep Dive into Narcissism and Relationships 02:41 Exploring the Human Magnet Syndrome 03:10 The Complexity of Narcissistic Relationships 03:25 Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder 04:26 Transition to Reading Reddit Stories 04:51 Interactive Q&A with Live Audience 05:11 Humorous Interactions and Casual Banter 05:20 Discussion on ADHD and Rejection Sensitivity 06:35 Reading and Discussing Reddit Stories 07:17 Deeper Conversation on Narcissism and Relationships 08:45 Understanding Differentiation in Relationships 11:55 Continuation of Reddit Story Discussion 12:33 Exploring ADHD and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria 15:36 Interactive Q&A with Live Audience: Part 2 17:18 Continuation of Reddit Story Discussion: Part 2 19:12 Understanding the Dynamics of Narcissistic Relationships 20:51 Interactive Q&A with Live Audience: Part 3 22:58 Continuation of Reddit Story Discussion: Part 3 25:22 Interactive Q&A with Live Audience: Part 4 27:14 Continuation of Reddit Story Discussion: Part 4 28:52 Interactive Q&A with Live Audience: Part 5 30:53 Continuation of Reddit Story Discussion: Part 5 31:37 Interactive Q&A with Live Audience: Part 6 33:20 Continuation of Reddit Story Discussion: Part 6 35:17 Interactive Q&A with Live Audience: Part 7 37:10 Continuation of Reddit Story Discussion: Part 7 37:53 Interactive Q&A with Live Audience: Part 8 40:42 Continuation of Reddit Story Discussion: Part 8 42:52 Interactive Q&A with Live Audience: Part 9 36:55 Discussing Alcoholism and Addiction 37:24 Understanding Addictive Behaviors 38:20 The Role of Therapy in Addiction 42:18 Exploring the Concept of Micro Cheating 43:16 The Impact of Micro Cheating on Relationships 43:29 The Role of Authenticity in Relationships 45:08 Understanding Narcissism and Emotional Immaturity 47:01 The Connection Between Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms and Emotional Baseline 48:59 The Importance of Emotional Connection in Relationships 01:07:37 The Role of Medication in Mental Health 01:10:08 Closing Thoughts and Reflections Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $20. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Unraveling, Unpacking, Understanding The Purpose of Therapy – When to Begin and Is There an End?

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 14 Feb 2024 12:49:26 -0500

Tony Overbay, LMFT, dives into an article by Dr. Richard Friedman titled 'Plenty of People Could Quit Therapy Right Now.' Tony reads the article and comments in real-time, talking about the many different reasons people come to therapy, the importance of the therapist/client relationship, and what to do if you don’t feel a connection with your therapist. He discusses why talk therapy works and provides additional personal insights, bringing in his background in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). He shares some of the challenges he has with the more popular CBT or cognitive behavioral therapy modality. The discussion revolves around concepts like the potentially harmful effects of prolonged therapy when to consider ending therapy, and the possibility of 'therapy vacations'. Lastly, Tony underlines the importance of having a clear treatment plan, addressing the client’s goals, and reinforcing the idea that progress is made when clients implement what they’ve learned in their day-to-day lives. 00:00 Introduction: The Clickbait Phenomenon 01:13 Welcome to the Virtual Couch: Episode 413 01:36 The Power of Numerology: Understanding 413 02:40 The Magnetic Marriage: A Valentine's Special 03:55 The Art of Clickbait: A Deep Dive 04:55 The Case for Quitting Therapy: A Discussion 08:14 The Role of a Therapist: A Personal Perspective 09:43 Understanding Different Types of Therapists 12:01 The Case for Quitting Therapy: An Article Review 16:07 The Role of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy 19:50 The End Goal of Therapy: Thriving on Your Own 20:48 Understanding Emotions and Interactions 21:27 The Role of Therapy in Emotional Processing 21:36 Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: An Overview 22:00 The Power of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy 23:05 Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and Its Impact 25:39 The Importance of Trust in Therapy 26:28 The Role of Therapy in Dealing with Trauma 28:01 The Long-Term Benefits of Therapy 28:09 The Challenges of Accessing Therapy 28:20 The Potential Risks of Over-Reliance on Therapy 29:51 The Role of Therapy in Personal Growth 31:16 The Importance of Finding the Right Therapist 38:23 The Role of Medication in Therapy 38:52 The Importance of Self-Reflection in Therapy 41:37 The Benefits of Taking a Break from Therapy 42:35 Final Thoughts on the Role and Impact of Therapy Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $20. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Why We Care What Other People Think: Unraveling Our Need for Approval and Validation

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 07 Feb 2024 09:49:33 -0500

Tony Overbay, LMFT, tackles the timeless question, "Why do we care so much about what others think?" Offering insights on halting the cycle of worrying over others' opinions, Tony emphasizes the importance of staying true to oneself (and ponders, "Who am I, really?"). He explores finding that sweet spot between valuing the world's input and heeding our inner voice—the one who truly knows us best. Tony illustrates that while the opinions of others can offer some worth, there's a limit to their significance. Ultimately, we have the fantastic opportunity to be captains of our ships, navigating through rough seas and basking in sunny skies alike. Available NOW Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" only $20. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ 00:00 Introduction: The Big Question 00:46 Welcome to the Virtual Couch 00:57 Therapeutic Tools: Four Pillars of a Connected Conversation 01:48 Valentine's Day Special: Mini Course and Game 02:53 Why Do We Care So Much About What Others Think? 11:20 The Power of Projection and Shadow Self 17:06 Understanding and Accepting Your Shadow Self 20:18 Setting Healthy Boundaries 21:40 You Are Not the Center of the Universe 22:16 Understanding Our Place in the Universe 23:04 Exploring the Concept of Solipsism 24:27 The Reality of Other People's Existence 25:45 The Impact of Caring Too Much About Others' Opinions 26:59 The Importance of Authenticity and Individuality 28:48 The Consequences of Worrying About Others' Opinions 30:11 Trusting Your Instincts and Navigating Life 32:56 Balancing External Advice with Internal Compass 35:55 Understanding the Persona and Authenticity 42:38 Embracing Your Whole Self and Authentic Connections 43:34 Conclusion: The Value of Self-Understanding and Authenticity

Live Relationship QA w/Sydney Overbay I

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 01 Feb 2024 22:14:03 -0500

(Description provided by AI, i.e., we’re really not this stuffy) On this TikTok live session, a father-daughter duo - Tony, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and his daughter, Sydney- discuss complicated familial relationships, drawing from a real-life scenario. They elaborate on the perspective of a 15-year-old girl attempting to navigate difficult relationships with her father and his new girlfriend after the death of her mother. The pair extract valuable lessons and give insightful advice about seeking validation, getting emotional support, and making the necessary decisions for one's emotional well-being. They also discuss inherent human behaviors and the importance of emotional maturity and curiosity in handling fraught relationships. The conversation also includes light-hearted banter and comical exchanges that reveal their own relationship dynamics. Watch the latest Relationship QA's with Sydney and Tony on The Virtual Couch YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/@TheVirtualCouchPodcast Tony references his daughter Mackie Overbay's Podcast, "The Mind, The Mirror and Me," Please follow/subscribe to the Mind, the Mirror, and Me podcast wherever you listen to podcasts. You can find it on Spotify at https://open.spotify.com/episode/7d4zmbpTEuKqabIjgXFq9N?si=6133f8620d4a41d1 or Apple Podcasts at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mind-the-mirror-me/id1701226687?i=1000639575815 00:02 Introduction and Setting the Stage 00:16 Diving into Relationship Advice 01:02 Discussing the Role of a Therapist 01:10 Analyzing a Real-Life Relationship Scenario 01:51 Understanding Emotional Discomfort and Communication 04:27 Exploring the Concept of Emotional Immaturity 06:01 Exploring the Concept of Control in Relationships 06:35 Unpacking the Impact of Assumptions in Relationships 07:22 Discussing the Importance of Curiosity and Non-Judgment 09:44 Analyzing a Case of Parent-Child Conflict 15:08 Discussing the Importance of Trust and Authenticity 18:55 Understanding the Role of Friends in Relationship Issues 21:10 Dad's New Girlfriend Drama 21:38 Learning New Slangs 21:57 Eavesdropping on Dad's Call 22:16 Feeling Betrayed and Disrespected 22:42 The Struggle of Communication 23:15 Light-Hearted Banter 23:33 Revisiting the Painful Conversation 24:02 Contemplating Leaving Home 24:20 The Role of Parents in Maintaining Relationships 26:26 The Struggle of Being Misunderstood 27:48 Moving to Grandparents' House 28:39 Dealing with Dad's Silence 30:12 Understanding Anxiety and Stress 32:11 The Power of Self-Validation 42:51 Wrapping Up and Saying Goodbye

Tackling Marriage Challenges Head-On - Understanding Relationship Dynamics and Emotional Growth

Tony Overbay LMFT — Mon, 29 Jan 2024 11:13:17 -0500

Tony shares the story of Hudson and Bailey, a couple working towards improving their marriage, particularly around communication patterns and how they deal with conflict. The episode focuses on the couple's struggle with common relationship issues that have resulted in miscommunication and misunderstandings. Tony outlines key behavioral models and strategies such as his Four Pillars of a Connected Conversation, his “pre-pillar” based on the concepts of Marshall Rosenberg’s “Non-violent communication” techniques, he talks about boundaries vs. ultimatums, differentiation (ultimately it’s a “me thing,”) and goes over his way to “hold the assertive frame.” Tony also addresses handling post-argument anxiety and practicing emotional maturity. The episode aims to provide viewers with practical solutions to commonplace marital challenges and ways to navigate through them. This episode is sponsored by Tony’s updated “Magnetic Marriage” course. Sign up for his newsletter at http://tonyoverbay.com for more information. 00:00 Introduction and Background of Hudson and Bailey 00:26 The Importance of Effective Communication in Relationships 00:45 Understanding the Dynamics of Hudson and Bailey's Relationship 01:56 A Pivotal Argument: Unpacking the Communication Breakdown 05:54 The Aftermath: Dealing with Post-Argument Anxiety 08:03 The Four Pillars of a Connected Conversation 08:45 Addressing Hudson and Bailey's Specific Concerns 12:03 Strategies for Resolving Arguments and Managing Anxiety 23:06 The Role of Mindfulness in Navigating Relationship Challenges 24:51 The Power of Mindfulness and Meditation 25:34 Understanding the Concept of Differentiation 26:12 The Role of Emotions in Communication 27:52 The Importance of Objective Observations in Communication 33:40 The Concept of Holding the Assertive Frame 34:45 Understanding and Managing Communication Breakdowns 38:01 The Role of Emotional Maturity in Relationships 43:23 The Importance of Self-Reflection and Growth 48:18 Conclusion and Final Thoughts To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Rewiring Emotions: From Humor to Honesty in Therapy

Tony Overbay LMFT — Mon, 15 Jan 2024 04:10:00 -0500

Tony takes inspiration from Carolyn Steber's article, "Is Everyone Out Here Lying To Their Therapist," https://www.bustle.com/wellness/lying-to-therapist using it as a muse (and explaining what a muse is) to explore the benefits and challenges of therapy from both the client's and therapist's viewpoints. He delves into primary and secondary emotions, highlighting how humor and anger often serve as secondary emotions. Tony also unpacks the origin of the "what's wrong with me" mindset, explaining how children internalize emotions, leading to a reliance on external validation in adulthood. The episode concludes with insightful discussions on neuroplasticity, implicit memory, and the significant benefits of being honest with your therapist. 00:00 Introduction and Welcome 00:41 Engaging with the Audience: Social Media and Live Q&A 01:58 The Power of Muse and Self-Reflection 03:45 Exploring the Article: Is Everyone Lying to Their Therapist? 04:07 Understanding the Role of a Therapist 06:12 The Science Behind Talk Therapy 14:18 The Role of Humor in Therapy 17:47 Understanding Primary and Secondary Emotions 24:32 Understanding Secondary Emotions 24:52 Exploring Anger and Humor as Secondary Emotions 25:31 The Role of Childhood Experiences in Shaping Emotions 26:38 The Impact of Humor as a Coping Mechanism 28:27 The Power of Neuroplasticity and Implicit Memory 29:23 The Influence of Environment on Emotional Tendencies 30:04 The Role of Humor in Therapy Sessions 30:31 The Importance of Honesty in Therapy 32:02 Understanding the Role of Validation in Therapy 37:54 The Power of Neuroplasticity in Changing Emotional Responses 39:57 The Role of Therapists and Coaches in Emotional Growth 40:08 Understanding the Importance of Comfort and Trust in Therapy 44:04 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Growth To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

"Sacred Rest” Author Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith: How to Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, and Restore Your Sanity

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 04 Jan 2024 09:27:34 -0500

Did you know there are several different types of rest beyond just sleeping? Coming from a 'we don’t know what we don’t know' standpoint, today’s episode has the potential to be both a game-changer and life-changing as we unveil how identifying and fulfilling these diverse types of rest can revolutionize your health, happiness, and productivity. Tony Overbay, LMFT, interviews Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith about her book 'Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity' (https://amzn.to/3TFp6GZ). They discuss the critical distinction between sleep and rest, amplified through Dr. Saundra’s 'Seven Types of Rest' framework. Dr. Saundra shares the seven types of rest she has found lacking in the lives of those she encounters in her clinical practice and research - physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, sensory, social, and creative - and explains why a deficiency in any one of these types of rest can have unfavorable effects on your health, happiness, relationships, creativity, and productivity. This episode highlights the importance of self-care and the need to become a personal health advocate. Dr. Saundra shares her experiences with burnout, which led to an emphasis on rest in her life. They discuss issues related to work-life balance and the over-reliance on screens and identify areas for enhancing rest that most people aren’t aware of. Then, Tony took Dr. Saundra’s 'rest quiz' and reviewed the results. You can find the Rest Quiz at https://www.restquiz.com/quiz/rest-quiz-test/ 00:00 Introduction and Personal Reflections on Sleep 01:31 Historical Figures and Their Sleep Patterns 02:25 The Misconceptions and Judgments Around Sleep 04:11 Personal Struggles with Sleep and Introduction of Guest 05:21 Taking the Rest Quiz and Discussing the Results 06:29 Introduction to Dr. Saundra Dalton and Her Work 06:36 Debunking Common Myths About Sleep 09:10 The Importance of Different Types of Rest 11:14 The Impact of Sensory Overload on Rest 12:49 The Role of Spiritual Rest in Overall Wellbeing 14:14 The Importance of Emotional and Social Rest 36:21 The Personal Journey Towards Understanding Rest 37:17 Sharing the Secret to Happiness at Work 37:22 Identifying Your Rest Deficit 37:46 Taking the Rest Quiz 38:44 Personal Journey and Motivation 40:17 Navigating the Healthcare System 40:43 Taking Control of Your Health 42:39 Unexpected End of Interview 43:06 Bonus: Taking the Rest Quiz Live 01:08:38 Interpreting the Rest Quiz Results 01:12:57 Conclusion and Recommendations Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Yes, We're Talking New Year’s Resolutions (and Goals, and Kale) – But Stick with Me, It's Not What You Think!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 28 Dec 2023 10:46:11 -0500

Tony addresses why so many New Year’s resolutions don’t last and explores the concept of value-based goals and the importance of aligning them with personal values for the sake of authenticity and lasting change. He discusses the shortcomings of the SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound) goal-setting method. He plays clips from an interview with his friend Neal Hooper about their discoveries on incorporating Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) into the goal-setting process. Neal introduces the elements necessary for genuine progress and fulfillment - the 'why' and 'how' of making SMARTER goals. Drawing from the principles of ACT and illustrating through the story of the client “Jason’s” transformational journey, he emphasizes the significance of acceptance, committed action, and psychological flexibility. The episode also points out the need to view setbacks as opportunities for growth, not pitfalls, and illustrates the importance of flexibility in goal setting. 00:00 Introduction: The Struggle with Traditional Goal-Setting 01:27 Meet the Host: Tony Overbay and His Podcasts 03:11 The Problem with New Year's Resolutions 06:48 The SMART Goals Method: An Overview 08:21 Jason's Story: A Case Study in Goal Setting 09:27 The Limitations of SMART Goals: Jason's Experience 14:26 The Shift to Values-Driven Goals 15:00 Jason's Transformation: Embracing a Holistic Approach 22:27 Conclusion: The Power of Mindfulness and Acceptance in Goal Setting 23:01 Challenges and Old Habits 23:24 Acceptance and Compassion in Change 24:10 The Power of Small Victories 24:42 Aligning Goals with Personal Values 25:13 The Pitfalls of Yo-Yo Dieting 25:42 The Pushup Challenge: A Personal Journey 26:25 Embracing Acceptance and Commitment Therapy 27:27 The Power of Daily Commitment 29:56 The Importance of Why and How in Goal Setting 30:22 The Role of Shame in Goal Setting 30:56 The Problem with Traditional Goal Setting 31:19 The Importance of Perceived Value and Capability in Goals 34:36 The Power of Smarter Goals 41:58 The Misconception of Committed Action 43:25 The Role of Setbacks in Growth 44:14 Embracing Discomfort and Doubt 44:42 Conclusion: The Power of ACT Principles Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony’s new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

24 Life Lessons From 24 Years: Mackie Overbay's Special Birthday Episode

Tony Overbay LMFT — Sun, 24 Dec 2023 19:31:33 -0500

In this special bonus episode of The Virtual Couch, Tony shares the latest episode of “The Mind, The Mirror and Me,” a podcast he co-hosts with his daughter Mackie Overbay. Mackie shares 24 life lessons she's learned in her 24 years of life in honor of her birthday (today! Wish her a happy birthday at @beautybymackie on Instagram). From discussing the importance of setting boundaries to embracing change and adaptability, she discusses different emotional growth and well-being aspects. The episode encourages listeners to introspect on their lessons and take things in stride, emphasizing that no one has life entirely figured out, and that's alright. Please follow/subscribe to the Mind, the Mirror, and Me podcast wherever you listen to podcasts. You can find it on Spotify at https://open.spotify.com/episode/7d4zmbpTEuKqabIjgXFq9N?si=6133f8620d4a41d1 or Apple Podcasts at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mind-the-mirror-me/id1701226687?i=1000639575815 00:00 Introduction and Studio Banter 00:24 The Reality of Therapy and Emotional Heavy Lifting 01:29 The Irony of Therapy Sessions 01:42 The Unusual Side of Therapy 02:08 The Struggles of Starting a Therapy Session 02:43 The Unexpected Moments in Therapy 02:55 Celebrating Birthdays and Reflecting on Life 04:01 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Growth 06:07 The Importance of Quality Friendships 06:27 The Power of Setting Boundaries 06:31 The Dangers of Comparison 07:28 The Value of Small Victories 08:48 Learning from Failures 09:41 Trusting Your Gut 11:45 Being Present in the Moment 14:22 The Role of Mindfulness in Life 19:46 Embracing the Present Moment 19:59 Outgrowing People and Situations 20:43 Trusting in Destiny 22:39 The Power of Privacy 24:41 Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships 27:04 The Importance of Self-Validation 27:34 The Struggles of Being Single 29:40 The Power of Writing Things Down 31:05 Accepting Imperfections 34:47 Finding a Fulfilling Career 35:41 The Futility of Holding Grudges 36:15 Adapting to Change 37:51 The Reality of Human Perception

Does a Partner's Sadness Cast a Shadow on Your Joy Over Time?

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 19 Dec 2023 18:37:16 -0500

What happens when an optimist and a pessimist are in a long-term relationship? According to new research from the article “Can an Unhappy Partner Erode Your Happiness Over Time?” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/close-encounters/202312/can-an-unhappy-partner-erode-your-happiness-over-time by Gwendolyn Seidman Ph.D. they eventually align somewhat in their outlooks, but does this lean toward optimism or pessimism? In this episode, Tony engages in a thorough discussion about emotional contagion in relationships, emphasizing how negative emotions tend to spread more rapidly than positive ones. He draws on various research studies to shed light on 'emotional vampires' - individuals who consistently dampen the mood and thus impact the overall happiness in relationships. Additionally, Tony shares a story from one of his clients, illustrating the significance of self-awareness in fostering a positive approach in relationships. Concluding the episode, he offers practical advice on being aware of your emotional impact and implementing changes for healthier and more positive interactions. 00:00 Introduction and Personal Anecdote 02:01 The Influence of Partners on Each Other's Happiness 02:14 Welcome to the Virtual Couch Podcast 02:36 The Concept of Influence in Relationships 03:44 Upcoming Topics and Magnetic Marriage Course 04:08 The Impact of an Unhappy Partner on Your Happiness 07:06 The Power of Negative Emotions 09:51 The Story of Emily: A Case Study 14:44 The Influence of Happiness and Unhappiness in Relationships 20:03 The Role of Emotional Contagion in Relationships 26:40 Takeaways and Final Thoughts Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Tony mentioned the Instagram account https://www.instagram.com/thesecurerelationship/ Please follow Tony’s new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Embracing Your Unique Self: Making Peace with Imperfection

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 07 Dec 2023 15:46:44 -0500

Tony tackles the misconception of perfection and the fear of making a mistake. He emphasizes the importance of differentiating ourselves, pursuing our genuine passions, and learning to accept the unpredictability of life. Tony guides us to redefine fulfillment and happiness by 'just being ourselves'. He also explores how our minds play tricks on us, in particular, our inherent need for approval and certainty, and examines the role of overconfidence. He finally discusses how embracing the beauty of an ordinary life can make us feel more fulfilled. Dive into this insightful talk and learn more about living authentically and finding joy in your journey. 00:00 Introduction and Story Time 00:38 Ted's Story: The Fear of Making a Mistake 01:14 Ted's Career and Passion for Reading and Writing 02:38 Ted's Realization and Struggle with Self-Acceptance 03:15 The Importance of Pursuing Genuine Happiness 04:19 The Struggle with Comparison and the Desire to Stand Out 04:32 Introduction to the Virtual Couch Podcast 06:07 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Acceptance 09:48 The Role of Others in Our Self-Perception 14:54 The Fear of Rejection and the Desire for Certainty 22:03 The Illusion of Certainty and the Power of Open-Mindedness 26:34 Embracing the Beauty of Being Okay 27:47 Conclusion and Farewell Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Tony mentioned the Instagram account https://www.instagram.com/thesecurerelationship/ Please follow Tony’s new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Self-Awareness: 95% Of People Think They Are, But Only 15% Actually Are - Unveiling Emotional Intelligence

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 28 Nov 2023 13:56:03 -0500

Research shows that 95% of adults believe they are self-aware, yet only 10-15% actually are. Where do you fit into this equation? Tony delves into the world of emotional intelligence, and how your emotions shape your reactions, and how that can negatively or positively impact your relationships. From personal anecdotes, including a delayed flight and a lucid dreaming experience, Tony illustrates the importance of self-awareness and emotional management. The episode comprehensively explores emotional intelligence, highlighting its impact on personal relationships, leadership, and self-perception. Tony discusses the four critical components of emotional intelligence: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management, emphasizing the foundational role of self-awareness in recognizing emotional triggers and responding thoughtfully in challenging situations. This episode goes beyond theory, intertwining personal stories, client experiences, and research findings to reveal the transformative power of emotional intelligence in both personal and professional settings. Tony invites listeners to embrace discomfort as a catalyst for growth, emphasizing continuous self-reflection and intentional efforts to enhance emotional intelligence. He also touches on the influence of emotional intelligence in leadership and workplace dynamics, underscoring its value in effective team collaboration and conflict resolution. With a focus on empathy and effective emotion management, Tony's insights serve as a compelling call to action, encouraging individuals to cultivate these skills for improved well-being and success in an increasingly complex and interconnected world. Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Tony mentioned the Instagram account https://www.instagram.com/thesecurerelationship/ Please follow Tony’s new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

It’s a Me Thing, Dang It! - Strengthening Parent-Child Relationships From Changing Their Diapers to (Hopefully!) Them Changing Yours

Tony Overbay LMFT — Mon, 13 Nov 2023 09:52:36 -0500

Have you ever wished for a better relationship with your parents? As a parent, do you worry that how you're raising your kids now might make them feel disconnected from you as adults? Where does one start laying the foundation to ensure a healthy parent-child relationship into adulthood? Today, Tony delves deep into these pressing questions, offering insightful answers and practical guidance. Tony discusses the intricate dynamics between parents and their adult children. We explore themes of non-judgmental observation, the crucial role of patience and consistent effort, the art of practicing acceptance, and the importance of self-compassion in mending and strengthening these relationships. Tony sheds light on the common pitfalls of making judgments and assumptions, urging parents to empathize with their children's experiences without imposing their perspectives. The episode emphasizes the parent's role as the primary agent of change, highlighting that while we cannot erase the past, we can certainly start a new, more hopeful chapter. ‘We can't erase the past, but it's okay to start a new chapter, one where growth is possible, and the relationship can find a new form,’ Tony notes, encapsulating the message of hope and resilience. Listeners will discover actionable steps for parents, including the power of self-reflection, acknowledging past hurts, reaching out consistently without pressure, and nurturing self-compassion and patience. The episode also discusses the therapeutic approach of writing a letter to acknowledge a child's experiences to promote understanding and healing. This conversation is about repairing relationships and transforming them through empathy, understanding, and a committed, patient journey toward healing and growth. Tune in for an enlightening exploration of how to nurture and heal the complex yet beautiful connections between parents and their adult children, making this episode a must-listen for anyone looking to deepen and improve these essential relationships in their life. Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Tony mentioned the Instagram account https://www.instagram.com/thesecurerelationship/ Please follow Tony’s new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Processing the Unthinkable: Hours After Lewiston, Maine Neighborhood Mass Murder

Tony Overbay LMFT — Mon, 30 Oct 2023 11:34:13 -0400

Last Wednesday evening, October 25, 2023, Tony Overbay, LMFT, and Joshua Shea traded text messages as they often do on Wednesday to discuss whether or not they were going to meet virtually early Thursday morning as they continue to work on various projects around their best-selling book, “He’s a Porn Addict Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions.” The text conversations took an abrupt turn as Josh was alerted by an emergency broadcast on his phone and through social media that 40-year-old Maine National Guard reservist Robert Card went on two shooting rampages, killing 18 people and wounding 13 with the second only a mile away from Shea's home in Lewiston, Maine. Several days later, Josh and Tony get together to attempt to navigate the complex emotional landscape of discussing such a horrifying event, underscoring the importance of approaching the subject with the utmost sensitivity, empathy, and respect. Tony and Josh dive deep into Shea's personal experiences during the incident and its aftermath. As a former news reporter, Shea candidly shares the surreal emotional and psychological journey he took, contrasting his past experiences running towards crises as part of his job to now sheltering at home in fear and uncertainty. Shea reveals the emotional rollercoaster he's been on: from survivor guilt and concern for his family's safety to the struggles of processing such an immense tragedy, including what the future looks like when an event that we hear about unfortunately far too often actually happens in an area that you know so well. The conversation touches on the psychological toll of collective traumatic experiences, like 9/11 and the COVID-19 pandemic, and the long-lasting effects they have on individuals and entire communities. The episode wraps up with insightful conversations around coping mechanisms and the critical importance of mental health support in the wake of traumatic events. This episode serves as a sobering but necessary dialogue on the unpredictable nature of life and the importance of mental and emotional preparedness while understanding that everybody has their own experience and that there truly is no “correct” way to grieve. It's an episode that invites the audience not just to hear but to listen, reflect, and possibly find solace in shared human experiences. Please visit Tony's linktree to find out more about his various other projects or to sign up for his mailing list to get the latest on courses, podcasts, and more https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch

When Therapy/Coaching Does More Harm Than Good - The Destructive Nature of Shame and Blame

Tony Overbay LMFT — Mon, 23 Oct 2023 09:42:23 -0400

Tony tackles the alarming issue of unhealthy practices in therapy, spurred by a recent news article detailing the unethical behavior of therapist Jody Hildebrandt. The article: “A former client of Jodi Hildebrandt says his family and life were 'destroyed' after she spilled details of his sessions to the Mormon Church” - By Rebecca Cohen https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/a-former-client-of-jodi-hildebrandt-says-his-family-and-life-were-destroyed-after-she-spilled-details-of-his-sessions-to-the-mormon-church/ar-AA1hirzA Tony dives into the destructive nature of shame-based therapy, refuting its effectiveness and ethical standing. You'll hear firsthand accounts of the damage shame-based approaches can cause, all the while raising the question: How should therapists truly be helping their clients? In the second half, the episode shifts towards de-stigmatizing 'porn addiction,' urging listeners to understand it as more of an unhealthy coping mechanism and why strength-based approaches to improving one's life with the acceptance that it is THEIR life work, and a therapist, life coach, or religious leader making it about THEMSELVES will only further exacerbate the problem. Tony talks about evidence-based therapeutic strategies like acceptance and commitment therapy that operate from a place of compassion, not shame. By doing so, individuals are empowered with the tools and emotional freedom to reshape their coping mechanisms, ultimately leading to more fulfilling lives. Please subscribe to Tony's YouTube Channel here https://www.youtube.com/@TheVirtualCouchPodcast and you can find this video with Descript’s “eye contact” feature enabled here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kk2qwiMyn84&t=5s Tony and Sydney’s episode of Murder on the Couch can be located here https://youtu.be/U3NO4ftF9Ik Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com

Worry Less, Live More: How to Hit the Happiness Jackpot by Letting Go

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 11 Oct 2023 07:58:18 -0400

Have you ever wondered why chasing happiness often leaves you feeling unfulfilled? Or why your need for control seems to be controlling you? Tony answers these questions and more as he dives into the complexities of happiness, control, and commitment through the lens of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). He challenges the common notion that happiness is all about feeling good and explores a richer, more meaningful definition of happiness that aligns with our core values. He also tackles the human need for control and certainty, discussing how letting go and embracing uncertainty can be liberating, allowing us to focus on what truly matters. And if you’ve ever wondered about whether or not a little bit of worrying is helping, or if you’ve questioned if commitment is more than just sticking to a plan, Tony offers insight that will bring more clarity as well as provide you with a few steps to help get you unstuck. We dive deep into commitment, emphasizing that it's not always about feeling good but about taking consistent, value-based actions—even when it's tough. The episode also addresses the pitfalls of worrying and ruminating, offering a fresh perspective on problem-solving that aligns with our values. We introduce the idea of self-differentiation, explaining how it allows us to maintain emotional and intellectual independence while fully engaging with the world around us. Ever catch yourself reminiscing about the early days of your relationship when everything felt fresh and exciting? Let's be honest, over time, routines set in, and we often find ourselves on relationship auto-pilot. But what if you could shake things up and rediscover that joy? The Unlock the Power of Intimacy Summit is your golden ticket. Best of all, it’s FREE. I am participating as a presenter and host of other marriage and intimacy experts. This is FOUR days of incredible insight for free, starting Monday, October 9th. We will uncover tools and strategies to deepen your connection, elevate your relationship skillset, and reignite your passion. I will go deep into my “4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation” (and much more!). https://tonyoverbay.us16.list-manage.com/track/click?u=83ba492f9e6161cdbe0a39671&id=415b315c40&e=14037a4779 Tony and Sydney’s episode of Murder on the Couch can be located here https://youtu.be/U3NO4ftF9Ik Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Wounded by Words? Healing the Scars of Internal Negativity

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 05 Oct 2023 11:47:58 -0400

Dive deep with Tony as he unravels the origins and implications of our "inner critic." From the evolutionary roots that kept our ancestors safe from predators to the modern-day societal pressures that amplify our self-doubt, discover why our brains are wired to magnify mistakes and how this impacts our mental well-being. Drawing from expert insights, like David Foster Wallace's profound reflections on conscious awareness and Marshall Rosenberg's principles of nonviolent communication, this episode sheds light on the powerful narratives we unconsciously craft about ourselves. Journey through the transformative power of self-compassion, understanding its significance in challenging our deeply ingrained self-critiques. Learn the art of observing without judging, mindfulness's magic, and recognizing our shared human experience. Tony compares our minds to a vast sponge shaped by every lived experience and offers practical strategies to balance negative and positive. By the end, listeners will be equipped with tools to release the metaphorical handbrake of self-criticism, setting them on a path toward personal growth, understanding, and a more compassionate inner narrative. Tony and Sydney’s episode of Murder on the Couch can be located here https://youtu.be/U3NO4ftF9Ik Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch The episode featured in the “letter from Blake” at the beginning of today’s episode can be found here https://blubrry.com/the_virtual_couch/111033262/youre-not-broken-youre-human-exploring-rising-depression-rates-wnate-christensen-apcc Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Do Babies and Robots Dream? How Dreams Improve Mental Health!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 28 Sep 2023 16:29:44 -0400

Have you ever heard that when a baby, or a dog, or basically any animal is twitching, they are dreaming? But what if that twitching occurs in the womb or from a baby mouse whose eyes haven't yet opened? Tony discusses the article "What Are Dreams For" by Amanda Gefter, https://apple.news/ATyOGpIRDQNOHahTKYECH5Q This episode dives deep into the intricate relationship between dreams and our bodily sensations. Grounded in recent scientific research, we explore how our dreaming minds are influenced by physical signals, including heart rates, vestibular system information, and even muscular sensations. We'll discuss how dreams incorporate snippets of our daily lives and long-forgotten memories, pointing to a complex dialogue between the mind and the body. Additionally, we touch upon the innovative domain of robotics, where principles from dreaming inspire adaptive learning in machines. Join us as we unravel the intricate web of dreams, bodily experiences, and the subtle ways they shape our understanding of reality. Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Julie Lee on Losing Her Sister, Navigating Divorce, Embracing ADHD - Using Humor to Heal

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 20 Sep 2023 10:11:16 -0400

Tony reconnects with Julie Lee, who opens up about a tumultuous year marked by personal challenges, including her divorce and the heartrending loss of her sister. Additionally, Julie reveals a recent ADHD diagnosis, joining Tony in the ranks of those diagnosed with ADHD later in life. The duo dives deep into their experiences with ADHD, highlighting its challenges and unexpected silver linings. They underscore the therapeutic power of humor, with Julie sharing how it has been an essential coping mechanism during her trying times. Julie also shares some powerful stories, like discovering a note from her late sister, underscoring the profound power of humor to connect, heal, and make sense of life's unpredictable paths. At the end of the episode, Tony and Julie attempt to make each other laugh, with Julie turning to help from her young daughter in the joke-writing. Furthermore, this conversation sets the stage for an exciting announcement: the launch of Julie and Tony's joint podcast, "Love, ADHD - Where Genius and Scatter Meet." Aiming to demystify the adult ADHD experience and provide solace through shared stories, their podcast offers listeners both relatable narratives and valuable insights. By melding authenticity with humor, "Love, ADHD" seeks to be more than just a podcast—it's a community for those looking to understand and embrace the complexities of ADHD and life itself. Follow or subscribe to “Love, ADHD” wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Podcast listeners can follow here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/love-adhd/id1707721821 and Spotify listeners can follow here https://open.spotify.com/show/6kyxztvpVXk1EgeyzuzsQ3?si=bb678548eebc45eb Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Discovering Self-Assured Motherhood with Rachel Nielson, Host of 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 13 Sep 2023 07:51:30 -0400

Rachel Nielson joins Tony Overbay from the 3 in 30 Podcast for Moms to share the details of Rachel’s time-sensitive once-a-year program, “Self-Assured Motherhood” (SAM). SAM is a 9-month course for women “ready to stop second-guessing themselves and to start bringing the best of themselves to their motherhood.” They discuss the need for boundaries in relationships. Rachel shares her personal stories about infertility and adoption and talks about how important it is to support and understand people going through tough times. She stresses parents' role in a child's life and talks about her approach to positive parenting based on John Gottman's ideas. Tony also shares her experiences with the Nurtured Heart parenting method, which focuses on praising the good things children do while not letting them see and push your buttons. Rachel talks about how important self-care is and how we can look after ourselves without feeling guilty. And they spend time discussing in detail Rachel’s program, especially her “3 Key Pillars” of “Know Your Self,” “Honor Your Needs,” and “Love Your People,” which play a significant role in helping moms feel more confident and balanced. Wrapping up, Tony and Rachel encourage listeners to check out the "Self-Assured Motherhood" program, which has helped many women improve their relationships and feel more confident as mothers. They remind listeners to visit the program's website, selfassuredmotherhood.com If you're interested in parenting, relationships, or just hearing some heartfelt stories, this episode is for you. Here's a link to Rachel's Self-Assured Motherhood Program http://3in30podcast.com/sam and here's a link for Rachel's free class http://3in30podcast.com/freeclass Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Balancing Heartbeats, Hashtags and Postpartum Depression: Modern-Day Motherhood w/Gayane Aramyan, LMFT

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 07 Sep 2023 09:39:05 -0400

Tony welcomes Gayane Aramyan, LMFT (https://www.therapywithgayane.com/, https://www.instagram.com/therapywithgayane/), for an enlightening exploration of contemporary parenting. Tony expresses that he genuinely “doesn’t know what he doesn’t know,” as a seasoned (translation “old”) father whose parenting experience hails from a less digital era, as he engages in a candid dialogue with Gayane, a mother of a 3-year-old. They delve into the labyrinth of information that's now at the fingertips of every parent, sifting through the myriad of resources to discern the invaluable from what is sometimes best described as “noise.” Gayane offers a poignant firsthand account of navigating motherhood's complexities, emphasizing the critical but often under-discussed realm of postpartum depression and, more specifically, post-partum rage and how new mothers and parents, in general, can prepare for all the unknowns of parenthood. In an age where technology's imprint is indelible, they grapple with its dual-edged nature in child-rearing, considering its potential benefits and pitfalls. This episode is a nexus of seasoned wisdom and modern-day challenges, offering invaluable insights for those either embarking on the parenting journey or simply curious about the nuanced tapestry of raising children in our digital age. Equip yourself with knowledge and join this compelling discourse on the evolving dynamics of parenthood. Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Differentiation for Dummies: Finding Your Voice in the Relationship Choir

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 31 Aug 2023 09:14:22 -0400

Tony explains what the psychology “buzzword” differentiation means and why it is essential to not only be differentiated in your key relationships but also how differentiation, or being able to recognize and separate your feelings and emotions from external influences, like the comments and interactions with others, is a critical component of emotional maturity, and as cliched as it sounds, becoming the very best version of yourself in ALL aspects of your life, and ANY conversation. One listener shares their journey through a candid letter, highlighting the challenges and epiphanies experienced during therapy sessions. From understanding their partner's perspective to navigating cultural and religious taboos on intimacy, the narrative uncovers the significance of recognizing one's emotions distinctly from external influences. The episode takes listeners on a journey of self-discovery, emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries, understanding reactions, and the continuous process of reshaping our mental landscapes. This episode offers a comprehensive look into fostering individuality while maintaining a deep connection with others through real-life examples, expert insights, and reflective techniques. Tune in and explore the intricate dynamics of differentiation, understand Bowen's theory in a refreshing light, and get inspired to enrich your mental space continually. Whether it's about confronting past experiences, recognizing external pressures, or seeking genuine personal growth, this episode is a treasure trove of insights for those eager to embrace their authentic selves while building healthier relationships. Join us on the Virtual Couch, and let's journey together into the heart of true self-awareness. To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Why We Misunderstand Each Other: An Exploration of Relational Frames

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 24 Aug 2023 11:49:12 -0400

Tony explains why it is so easy to be misunderstood. He delves deep into the intricate world of Relational Frame Theory, shedding light on the pivotal role frame choice plays in our conversations. Through engaging discussions and real-life examples, Tony highlights the significance of understanding relationships and harnessing the power of curiosity. He touches upon the importance of approaching conversations with good intentions, observing without casting judgments, and navigating the challenges of differing interpretations of words like 'trauma.' By sharing a heartfelt letter from a listener, Tony vividly shows how past traumas shape our present, emphasizing the gaps they can create in trust and understanding. Building on insights from a previous episode, Tony reintroduces the 'assertive frame' idea and demonstrates how word meanings can shift depending on the context. Tony references “A Liberated Mind” by Stephen Hayes, co-founder of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, who emphasizes the depth and complexity of language and relationships. The episode beautifully encapsulates the journey from misunderstanding to connection, offering listeners actionable advice on fostering more robust relationships. From the intricacies of language learning to the importance of curiosity, Tony guides listeners through a transformative journey of communication and connection. To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Introducing The Mind, The Mirror & Me: Be Afraid and Do It Anyway

Tony Overbay LMFT — Mon, 21 Aug 2023 10:10:40 -0400

Tony introduces a brand new podcast to The Virtual Couch Podcast Network, "The Mind, The Mirror & Me." Tony co-hosts the podcast with his daughter Mackie Overbay, a licensed cosmetologist and mental health advocate. Fear, anxiety, and embracing change take center stage in this inspiring episode of "The Mind, The Mirror, & Me." Host Mackie and her therapist dad, Tony, dive deep into their personal journeys, sharing how they overcame anxiety and took courageous leaps in their careers and life. Tune in to discover practical strategies for navigating discomfort and embracing life's transitions, including the empowering concept of expansion in acceptance and commitment therapy. You'll be inspired to unleash your inner courage, pursue your passions, and move forward despite any nervous butterflies. Get ready to conquer fears and embrace change with this dynamic father-daughter duo! You can find The Mind, The Mirror & Me wherever you listen to podcasts. For Apple Podcast listeners, go here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mind-the-mirror-me/id1701226687, and for Spotify listeners, go here https://open.spotify.com/show/5wchHyGlddGo7fAHVsZgRe?si=f9d2d5a373644621 and if you want to watch the podcast on YouTube go here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQ2DrLLizho From The Mind, The Mirror & Me Trailer Welcome to "The Mind, The Mirror, and Me," where the worlds of beauty and mental health come together like never before. This is the podcast for anyone eager to explore not just what they see in the mirror but what lies beneath the surface. Mackie Overbay, a 20-something licensed cosmetologist, provides more than just styling tips; she offers a window into self-love, self-care, and the transformative power of looking your best. Her father, Tony Overbay, LMFT, an experienced marriage and family therapist, brings therapeutic insights, offering guidance on relationships, family dynamics, and emotional well-being. Together, they create a rich tapestry of conversation, appealing to listeners of all ages and backgrounds. In each episode, you'll find engaging dialogues and real-world advice that intersects the outer appearance with inner growth. Whether exploring how a new hairstyle can boost your confidence or delving into techniques for cultivating mindfulness and mental clarity, this podcast is as multifaceted as the people it serves. Hear stories from clients in the salon chair, participate in enlightening discussions on solitude, and engage with expert guests from various fields. With topics ranging from the latest trends in beauty to managing stress and anxiety, "The Mind, The Mirror, and Me" brings something unique and invaluable to the table. Join Mackie and her father on this enlightening journey as they help listeners navigate both the mirror of appearance and the mirror of the mind. With every episode, they challenge, inspire, and empower, aiming to make everyone feel comfortable in their skin and life. Listen in, and you may just discover that the path to well-being lies in the reflection of "The Mind, The Mirror, and Me."

Every, and I Mean EVERY Conversation Can Help You Grow - Holding the “Assertive Frame”

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 16 Aug 2023 23:10:29 -0400

Tony explains how every conversation and interaction with the right tools can be for your good. He discusses the importance of effective communication and understanding personal biases. Drawing an analogy from his experience with orange-tinted running sunglasses Tony received from an ultra marathon, he emphasized how our biases, much like the sunglasses, subtly color our perspectives. He introduced the four communication pillars as tools to understand others better and enhance conversations. These pillars include giving the benefit of the doubt, resisting the urge to tell somebody they’re wrong, seeking first to understand, staying engaged, and actively listening. Tony also touched on the challenges people face when seeking understanding, especially from leaders or advisors who might not genuinely listen to individual concerns. He stressed the importance of curiosity, open-mindedness, and ways for individuals to communicate their needs and feelings, “holding the assertive frame.” He shared his thoughts on healthy “assertive and nurturing” replacements for “masculine and feminine” concerning introducing polarity in relationships. Tony then explores the pitfalls of "playing the victim" and avoiding discomfort in conversations. He emphasized the importance of prioritizing genuine connection over ego and fear and highlighted the dangers of seeking validation through listing past good deeds. Recognizing our emotional responses as opportunities for self-growth and reflection was also discussed. Using practical examples, Tony illustrated how confronting personal biases and embracing vulnerability can foster deeper connections and mutual understanding. Ultimately, the podcast underscored the need for individuals to consistently practice effective communication, hold an assertive frame, and seek growth and authenticity in their interactions. And you can sign up for Mackie Overbay and Tony’s new podcast, “The Mind, The Mirror & Me,” at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mind-the-mirror-me/id1701226687 To learn more about their project or make an investment, visit http://wefunder.com/toosoon and be a part of the change in independent filmmaking. You can find Jeff and Aurora on Instagram at the production company’s account @stnormajean as well as on their individual accounts @auroraflorence and @jeffdickamore and go check out the Dating After Death podcast Jeff and Aurora mentioned at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dating-after-death/id1614164834 To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Exploring the Enneagram, Mental Health and Self-Discovery with Artist Mikenzi Mitchell

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 09 Aug 2023 11:18:44 -0400

Tony sits down with graphic artist Mikenzi Mitchell to delve into her personal journey and creative process. Mikenzi reveals her fascination with Enneagrams and how they have helped her connect with her true self, navigate personal growth, and find validation within herself. They discuss her specific art categories, including women's portraits, diversity, spirituality, mental health, and the power of art to inspire others. Mikenzi's favorite project, designing Black History Month labels for Press Juicery, symbolizes both her struggle and pride in her work. The conversation further explores the Enneagram as a tool for self-awareness and understanding motivations for personal growth. Tony and Mikenzi discuss different Enneagram types and their characteristics, shedding light on how they have recognized growth and stress points in their lives. They appreciate the importance of self-reflection, emotional maturity, and understanding one's Enneagram type can enhance relationships and help break free from codependency. Overall, this episode offers valuable insights into Mikenzi's authentic and uplifting artistic journey, intertwined with her exploration of the Enneagram, making it an essential listen for anyone interested in creativity and personal growth. You can find Mikenzi’s Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/kenzistudioco/ with links to her other projects. And you can sign up for Mackie Overbay and Tony’s new podcast, “The Mind, The Mirror & Me,” at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mind-the-mirror-me/id1701226687 To learn more about their project or make an investment, visit http://wefunder.com/toosoon and be a part of the change in independent filmmaking. You can find Jeff and Aurora on Instagram at the production company’s account @stnormajean as well as on their individual accounts @auroraflorence and @jeffdickamore and go check out the Dating After Death podcast Jeff and Aurora mentioned at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dating-after-death/id1614164834 To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Embracing Change, Discomfort, and Connection in Parenting w/Mackie Overbay

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 02 Aug 2023 17:33:00 -0400

Tony welcomes his daughter Mackie Overbay, a licensed cosmetologist and new podcast host, to the Virtual Couch. They delve into the multifaceted parenting journey as children transition into new stages of life. They unpack the generational disconnect, emphasize the ever-changing relationship between technology and mental health, and stress the importance of understanding, adaptability, and open communication. An eye-opening discussion explores discomfort's role in self-confrontation, highlighting that with the right tools, every interaction can be an opportunity to self-confront and grow rather than driving a disconnect in relationships. The conversation expands beyond conventional wisdom, offering fresh perspectives on building resilient parent-child relationships. Tony and Mackie explore how accepting emotional experiences, even when dysregulated, fosters safety and connection. They also advocate for consistency, mindfulness, and small daily actions to promote emotional well-being. Their engaging dialogue offers invaluable insights and practical advice for parents and individuals interested in strengthening their relationships and embracing personal growth, providing a roadmap for navigating the complex terrain of contemporary family life. To learn more about Mackie and Tony's soon-to-be-released podcast: The Mind, The Mirror & Me, follow the link in Tony's linktree, or sign up for his newsletter. And to be the first to hear about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch To learn more about Jeff Dickamore and Aurora Florence's crow-funded movie "Too Soon" from episode 386, visit http://wefunder.com/toosoon and be a part of the change in independent filmmaking. You can find Jeff and Aurora on Instagram at the production company’s account @stnormajean as well as on their individual accounts @auroraflorence and @jeffdickamore and go check out the Dating After Death podcast Jeff and Aurora mentioned at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dating-after-death/id1614164834 To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment anxiety-treatment experts use worldwide. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

You're Not Broken, You're Human: Exploring Rising Depression Rates w/Nate Christensen, APCC

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 27 Jul 2023 08:32:49 -0400

In this candid episode of 'The Virtual Couch,' host Tony Overbay, LMFT, is joined by his colleague, Nate Christensen, APCC. Together, they dissect the trend highlighted in a recent article titled "U.S. Depression Rates Reach New Highs" https://news.gallup.com/poll/505745/depression-rates-reach-new-highs.aspx while discussing their theories and experiences dealing with mental health in their therapy practices. Tony starts by explaining his theory that the brain, constantly analyzing for threats, signals us through anxiety and depression that it's time to address negative aspects of our lives. Both Tony and Nate emphasize that these signals, as tough as they are, are not enemies but signs that push us toward positive changes. The discussion then navigates through various types of depression, the prevalent causes, and contributing factors, shedding light on the increased depression rates despite an uptick in societal mental health awareness. Nate shares his experience of dealing with depression and anxiety, leading to an in-depth discussion about different therapy approaches, such as Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Finally, they explore the benefits of medication and newer therapy forms, like psychedelic-assisted therapy. All throughout, the underlying message is clear: If you're struggling, seek help. You're not broken, you're human, and this journey is discovery and transformation. To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch To learn more about Jeff Dickamore and Aurora Florence's crow-funded movie "Too Soon" from episode 386, visit http://wefunder.com/toosoon and be a part of the change in independent filmmaking. You can find Jeff and Aurora on Instagram at the production company’s account @stnormajean as well as on their individual accounts @auroraflorence and @jeffdickamore and go check out the Dating After Death podcast Jeff and Aurora mentioned at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dating-after-death/id1614164834 To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment anxiety-treatment experts use worldwide. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Grief to Growth: Aurora Florence and Jeff Dickamore on their Movie ‘Too Soon’

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 19 Jul 2023 09:15:37 -0400

Join host Tony Overbay, LMFT, on The Virtual Couch podcast as he sits down with filmmakers Aurora Florence and Jeff Dickamore, the creative minds behind the groundbreaking romantic comedy, "Too Soon." In this captivating episode, they delve into the making of their film, their unique funding approach through WeFunder, and their vision to redefine the independent film landscape. "Too Soon," tells the story of a young widow and widower who cross paths on the day of their spouses' funerals. Jeff and Aurora share their passion for creating a film that defies conventions and tackles themes of love, grief, and personal growth with authenticity. By raising funding through WeFunder, they aim to secure top talent and distribution deals and bring their impactful project to as many viewers as possible. During their conversation, they explore the challenges independent filmmakers face in finding an audience and distribution opportunities in hopes of expanding the movie’s reach to foster meaningful conversations around grief and healing. Discover the filmmakers' journey as they discuss their belief in democratizing the film industry by involving everyday people in the investment process. By allowing individuals to invest as little as $100 and become part-owners of the film, Jeff and Aurora challenge the notion that investing in the movie-making process is reserved for the wealthy. Their goal is not only to create a thought-provoking film but also to empower viewers and redefine the boundaries of independent filmmaking. Prepare to be captivated by the fresh and unconventional take on the romantic comedy genre presented by "Too Soon." Through authentic portrayals of grief, personal growth, and the complexities of moving on, this film hopes to deeply resonate with not only those directly impacted by the death of a loved one but essentially everyone unsure or uncertain of how to show up for those around them who may be dealing with grief and loss. Jeff and Aurora express their gratitude for the support they've received from the grief community, recognizing the importance of open conversations surrounding death and grief. Don't miss this inspiring episode of The Virtual Couch podcast. Jeff Dickamore and Aurora Florence share their creative vision, dedication, and the meaningful impact they hope to make with "Too Soon." To learn more about their project or make an investment, visit http://wefunder.com/toosoon and be a part of the change in independent filmmaking. You can find Jeff and Aurora on Instagram at the production company’s account @stnormajean as well as on their individual accounts @auroraflorence and @jeffdickamore and go check out the Dating After Death podcast Jeff and Aurora mentioned at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dating-after-death/id1614164834 To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Building Bridges, Not Walls: Exploring the Four Pillars of Connected Conversations

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 13 Jul 2023 11:32:34 -0400

Tony Overbay, LMFT, delves into his Four Pillars of a Connected Conversation and introduces the acronym BASE to help listeners better remember the pillars during conversations. He also shares a new "pre-pillar" or becoming more grounded before entering the 4 pillar framework. The "pre-pillar" is based on Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication, emphasizing the need to discern concrete observations from subjective judgments. The BASE acronym is Benefit of the Doubt, Accept Their Perspective, Seek First to Understand, and Embrace the Conversation. These foundational pillars, when applied, can revolutionize how we communicate, fostering deeper connections and healthier relationships. Tony concludes the episode by addressing the challenge of observing ineffective communication in others and providing insights on navigating these situations. Tune in and transform the way you converse and connect. To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Unearthing Emotional Scars: Director Reed Harkness Discusses 'Sam Now' and the Impacts of Discomfort and Childhood Abandonment

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 06 Jul 2023 08:32:39 -0400

Tony interviews filmmaker Reed Harkness, the film Sam Now's director and co-star. From reviewer Matt Zoller Seitz, “Sam Now" is a gentle, empathetic movie that will be unbearably intense for viewers who fear abandonment. However, that might prove to be healing or enlightening if they can stick with it to the end. Constructed of home movies and family interviews spanning 24 years, director Reed Harkness' documentary tells a painful and complicated story from his own life: his stepmother Jois (pronounced "Joyce") disappeared one day in 2000 without warning or any further contact or explanation. Even though they were separated, her leaving shocked her husband Randy; their sons Sam and Jared, who were in elementary school then; and Reed, then a teenager.” https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/sam-now-movie-review-2023 Tony and Reed explore the lifelong impacts of childhood abandonment, manifesting in Sam and Reed’s adult lives. Jois’ absence, and the subsequent revelation that it was her choice, left them wrestling with emotional wounds and damaged family dynamics. Tony explores about their Jois’ behavior, considering whether her actions might be symptomatic of extreme emotional immaturity or narcissistic tendencies. Reed shares how each family member's different reactions and coping mechanisms further complicate the dynamics and negatively impact their relationships. Reed and Tony continue to come back to the topic of what we do with our discomfort as individuals and within a family system. Reid emphasized his interest in exploring these family dynamics and the importance of addressing uncomfortable issues, a theme deeply ingrained in his films. Despite the potential divisions it might have caused, Reid highlighted filmmaking's pivotal role in bridging the gap between him and Sam. The conversation concluded with a nod towards the therapeutic potential of open dialogue and the shared goal of effecting positive change through their respective fields. Use coupon code CRAIG to receive $100 off The Path Back for a limited time. You can sign up directly here https://www.thepathback.org/offers/zF7ogLZZ?coupon_code=CRAIG Use the following code to purchase the 2023 Sex Summit for only $35 featuring Tony's presentation: Relationship Tools You Don't Know You Need - Tips and Tools Born From 15 Years of Practice w/1500 Couples. https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONY23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023 Or use the following code to purchase 2020, 2021, 2023, and 2024 seminars for only $80: https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONYBUNDLE23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023-bundle Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Beyond the Comfort Zone: Unmasking True Feelings - A Dive into Anxiety's Root Causes (Part 2)

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 28 Jun 2023 15:48:27 -0400

Today’s episode is part 2 of 2 on dealing with the concepts around discomfort and certainty. In episode 1, Tony broke down the importance of acknowledging and feeling our emotions without judgment, reminding us that this is key for our mental health. He emphasized the mindful experience of emotions and thoughts, steering clear of allowing them to call the shots in our decisions and actions. This time around, we're diving deep into the concept of rumination - that exhausting cycle of negative thinking that has us stuck in problem mode without actually problem-solving. Sound familiar? Tony also introduces the idea of signal anxiety, an early alert for the emotional danger that can trigger defense mechanisms like denial and displacement. Tony discusses the challenges of unmasking our true feelings rather than hiding behind our anxiety. He passionately proposes a more authentic, purpose-driven life to alleviate the symptoms that may arise when we sidestep our emotional needs. He then unpacks the defense mechanisms of displacement and projection, commonly used to manage those uncomfortable feelings we all know too well. Remember Lucy, the marketing manager we mentioned last time? Tony illustrates how her work stress bled into her personal life, causing strain and highlighting the issue of displacement. He advises us to recognize such problems and seek help to tackle the root cause, suggesting mentor support, therapy, and self-care as effective strategies. Then he delves into projection, offering up examples from the workplace and even touching on narcissistic projection, common in individuals who grapple with self-reflection and fear abandonment. Lastly, Tony talks about the book "On Being Certain," shedding light on the neuroscience behind our feelings of certainty and the stubbornness they can sometimes breed. Trust us, you won't want to miss this! Use coupon code CRAIG to receive $100 off The Path Back for a limited time. You can sign up directly here https://www.thepathback.org/offers/zF7ogLZZ?coupon_code=CRAIG Use the following code to purchase the 2023 Sex Summit for only $35 featuring Tony's presentation: Relationship Tools You Don't Know You Need - Tips and Tools Born From 15 Years of Practice w/1500 Couples. https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONY23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023 Or use the following code to purchase 2020, 2021, 2023, and 2024 seminars for only $80: https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONYBUNDLE23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023-bundle Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Craig Perra - Strength Over Disease: Challenging Traditional Models of Pornography Addiction Recovery

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 21 Jun 2023 09:25:04 -0400

Tony shares some sad news about the loss of his friend and colleague, Shawna Roberts. She was the one who introduced him to today's guest, Craig Perra. Craig is the creator of The Mindful Habit System https://www.themindfulhabit.com/, a life-changing approach that has helped countless people build healthier relationships, develop healthy sexuality, and finally live the lives they've always wanted but thought were out of reach. Craig opens up about his own battles with addiction, particularly compulsive pornography and sexual behavior, and his road to recovery that led him to create The Mindful Habit System. Tony's a big fan of this approach because it focuses on building strength rather than simply treating disease, and it's inspired him to create his own program, The Path Back. The main theme of the episode is how we can get stuck in negative behaviors and see ourselves in a bad light and how shame and conditioning can affect addiction and relationships. Both Tony and Craig emphasize that it's crucial to understand and accept all parts of ourselves with compassion instead of being hard on ourselves. They also chat about the benefits of integrating coaching into therapy, which helps therapists and clients build stronger relationships and achieve better results. They touch on the importance of valuing ourselves from within and helping people realize their own potential rather than relying on external validation. Tony and Craig also share their unique experiences on reality shows about digital addiction and porn, giving them an insight that they wouldn't otherwise have. Craig remembers Shawna and the work they did together for the LDS community to help with porn addiction. To wrap up, they reflect on how far they've come, the impact of The Path Back program, and their plans for the future, including the exciting possibility of therapist coaching. The chat gives listeners a deep understanding of how a strength-based approach to recovery, the role of internal family systems therapy, and self-perception are key to healing and personal growth. Use coupon code CRAIG to receive $100 off The Path Back for a limited time. You can sign up directly here https://www.thepathback.org/offers/zF7ogLZZ?coupon_code=CRAIG Use the following code to purchase the 2023 Sex Summit for only $35 featuring Tony's presentation: Relationship Tools You Don't Know You Need - Tips and Tools Born From 15 Years of Practice w/1500 Couples. https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONY23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023 Or use the following code to purchase 2020, 2021, 2023, and 2024 seminars for only $80: https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONYBUNDLE23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023-bundle Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Navigating Challenges: Lessons of Love and Resilience from Emma's Story

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 14 Jun 2023 10:56:41 -0400

Duff and Keirra Dyer join Tony to share a deeply vulnerable story of their daughter Emma's loss and their journey of unconditional love, parenting, and resilience through the toughest of times. They open up about Emma's early struggles with pornography, the challenges that led them to send her to rehab, and the profound impact it had on Emma and their entire family. Amidst the unwavering love they have for their daughter, they also express feelings of helplessness as they witnessed extended periods of recovery followed by relapses. Despite enduring a heart-wrenching experience no family should endure, they find solace in the valuable lessons Emma's passing has taught them, including the bittersweet emotions they encountered while attempting to donate her organs to those in need. The Dyers are dedicated to sharing their story and supporting others. Feel free to send any questions or comments to contact@tonyoverbay.com. Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Beyond the Comfort Zone: The Brain's Belief About Discomfort, Memory, and Certainty (1 of 2)

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 07 Jun 2023 09:51:12 -0400

In today’s episode, Tony embarks on a fascinating exploration of the human mind's seemingly paradoxical inclinations. Our discussion begins with an intriguing investigation of "flashbulb memories." These vividly retained images we perceive as absolute recollections, despite their inherent inaccuracies, underline the intricate dance our brain does with reality. Tony delves into the nuances of memory, discussing the pitfalls of over-reliance on our recollections, and highlights how our brain's striving for precision and certainty can often lead us astray. With a stunning lack of real-world certainty, our minds attempt to construct a stable, reassuring worldview, yet, in reality, this is often an exercise in futility. This drive for certainty, unfortunately, carries with it a tremendous amount of discomfort, given the inherently uncertain nature of life. Tony paints a vivid picture of how our minds, in a well-intentioned but misguided effort, try to avoid discomfort at all costs. This avoidance strategy may lead us down the path of unhealthy coping mechanisms, potentially compromising our overall well-being. This episode invites listeners to challenge their perceptions and redefine their relationship with thoughts and feelings. Rather than treating each thought or feeling as deeply significant, Tony suggests that we consider them transient passengers in our minds, coming and going throughout the day, hour, or even minute. "Bless our brain's pink, squishy heart," Tony exclaims in this engaging discussion, "it craves certainty, abhors discomfort, and staunchly believes it possesses the memory of an elephant!" Yet, as he highlights, we often struggle against these default settings in our lifelong quest for peace and happiness. By understanding these natural tendencies and consciously adjusting our responses, we open ourselves to profound personal growth and a deeper sense of inner peace. Use the following code to purchase the 2023 Sex Summit for only $35 featuring Tony's presentation: Relationship Tools You Don't Know You Need - Tips and Tools Born From 15 Years of Practice w/1500 Couples. https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONY23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023 Or use the following code to purchase 2020, 2021, 2023, and 2024 seminars for only $80: https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONYBUNDLE23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023-bundle Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Shauna Roberts, LMFT on Anger, Therapy, and the "Tale of Pierre Santray!"

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 31 May 2023 08:54:46 -0400

Just a few days ago, my friend and former colleague Shauna Roberts, LMFT, suffered an A-Com Aneurysm - a swelling within the anterior communicating artery in the brain that has ruptured. From her daughter, “Miraculously, she made it past emergency surgery where they, amongst other things, put in a coil stint to stop the bleeding. She is currently intubated at St. Luke’s in Boise, where her body is sedated. Her Neurosurgeons have told us it is a miracle that she made it to surgery, to begin with, which we are counting as one of many miracles from God. They are cautiously optimistic in her recovery based on some very small signs, but we have a long road ahead of us. We specifically are in a very fragile 10-day period where her care team is working to prevent further strokes and brain damage. She has not woken up, and we do not know when she will or what will happen when she does, but our family firmly believes that our Heavenly Father is in control, and we are hopeful that when she does wake up, she will be on the road to recovery. My mom will need a lot of prayers, and I ask that everyone who knows and loves her please join us in doing so. If you would like to send a message of support to Shauna and her family, please do so to contact@tonyoverbay.com, and I will forward them to her. Use the following code to purchase the 2023 Sex Summit for only $35 featuring Tony's presentation: Relationship Tools You Don't Know You Need - Tips and Tools Born From 15 Years of Practice w/1500 Couples. https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONY23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023 Or use the following code to purchase 2020, 2021, 2023, and 2024 seminars for only $80: https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONYBUNDLE23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023-bundle Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

The Trust Fall: Catching Hope in Relationships Again

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 24 May 2023 10:56:00 -0400

Have you ever felt like a tightrope walker trying to balance your relationship on a fraying rope of trust? Or perhaps you're more of a DIY enthusiast who feels like they've been handed a relationship IKEA flatpack with a few missing screws and no instruction manual? In this episode, Tony dives head first into discussing the fundamental building blocks to rebuild that shaky thing we call trust. We'll talk about the virtues of kindness, the relentless commitment to truth-telling, the importance of upskilling in the art of life partnership, and why being as predictable as a sitcom punchline can be a good thing in a relationship. So tune in, get comfortable, and let's hammer, screw, and even duct tape your trust back together in a way that would make MacGyver proud! Use the following code to purchase the 2023 Sex Summit for only $35 featuring Tony's presentation: Relationship Tools You Don't Know You Need - Tips and Tools Born From 15 Years of Practice w/1500 Couples. https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONY23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023 Or use the following code to purchase 2020, 2021, 2023, and 2024 seminars for only $80: https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONYBUNDLE23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023-bundle Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Love's Rough Draft: Rewriting Unhappy Marriages (aka Relationships Shouldn't Suck!)

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 17 May 2023 12:58:10 -0400

Tony dissects the article “Divorce Probably Won’t Make You Happier, Study Says” https://www.additudemag.com/happy-healthy-marriage-divorce-adhd-relationship-news/ and shares why phrases like “marital endurance” and “build a good and happy life despite a mediocre marriage” don’t exactly make for the best sales pitch for marriage. He shares what a “mediocre marriage” may be telling you and what a healthy relationship looks like as it matures. Use the following code to purchase the 2023 Sex Summit for only $35 featuring Tony's presentation: Relationship Tools You Don't Know You Need - Tips and Tools Born From 15 Years of Practice w/1500 Couples. https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONY23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023 Or use the following code to purchase 2020, 2021, 2023, and 2024 seminars for only $80: https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONYBUNDLE23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023-bundle Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Making Sense of the Senseless: Unveiling the World of Apophenia

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 10 May 2023 08:41:24 -0400

Tony explores the concept of apophenia and its relevance in mental health. Apophenia refers to the tendency of the human brain to perceive patterns, connections, or meaningful relationships in random or meaningless data. While this cognitive phenomenon can be harmless, it can also lead to delusions, paranoia, and other mental health issues, particularly in individuals with conditions like schizophrenia. He delves into the different forms of apophenia, including pareidolia and clustering illusion, and how they relate to mental health. We also discuss how apophenia can be relevant in everyday life, such as in conspiracy theories or superstitious beliefs. This episode highlights the importance of understanding apophenia as a crucial concept in mental health and its role in shaping our perceptions and behaviors. Tony refers to the article “All About Apophenia” https://psychcentral.com/health/apophenia-overview#causes Medically reviewed by Kendra Kubala, PsyD, Psychology, and written by Cathy Lovering. Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Simple Phrases that Indicate the Health of your Relationship PLUS Murder on the Couch Preview!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 03 May 2023 13:00:32 -0400

Tony discusses the 9 phrases that, if used daily, are strong indicators that “your relationship is more successful” than most from the article “Harvard-trained psychologist: If you use any of these 9 phrases every day, ‘your relationship is more successful’ than most” by Dr. Cortney Warren https://apple.news/AqM_s77doSAm_lfXllM343g And stay tuned until the end of the podcast! Tony shares 20 minutes of the first episode of his new “true crime meets therapy” podcast “Murder on the Couch,” co-hosted by his daughter Sydney Overbay. You can watch the episode on YouTube here https://youtu.be/OKidvzLAbI0 or follow/subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts, including Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/murder-on-the-couch/id1684487066?i=1000611379631 or Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/6GJQeJxx4elDlcaW21JsvU?si=675abf672a7941dd Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Pain is Unavoidable - Suffering...Not So Much (aka Optional)

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 26 Apr 2023 10:03:44 -0400

Pain is unavoidable; suffering, on the other hand, is apparently an option. Most people prefer neither pain nor suffering, but if suffering indeed is an option, how does one get rid of suffering in life? Tony references Jade Wu, Ph.D.'s article "Pain is Unavoidable, Suffering Is an Option" https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-savvy-psychologist/202008/pain-is-unavoidable-suffering-is-option, and he explores Rick Hanson's "Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom," https://amzn.to/3oMF3xs Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Introducing "Murder on the Couch" - True Crime Meets Therapy...Follow Today!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 25 Apr 2023 08:58:02 -0400

Murder on the Couch, a True Crime Meets Therapy Podcast co-hosted by Tony Overbay, LMFT, host of the award-winning The Virtual Couch podcast, as well as Waking Up to Narcissism, and Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A Premium Podcast and his daughter Sydney Overbay, CD (college dropout) is Available Now! Go follow, subscribe and sign up wherever you listen to podcasts. You can find Murder on the Couch on Spotify at https://open.spotify.com/show/6GJQeJxx4elDlcaW21JsvU?si=6787814df8d1409e or Apple Podcasts here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/murder-on-the-couch/id1684487066 And please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel where video episodes will be released https://www.youtube.com/@TheVirtualCouchPodcast

All These Fears Will Be For Your Good - Facing the Fear Trap

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 19 Apr 2023 10:59:22 -0400

True or false? You only use 10 percent of your brain? Albert Einstein was a lousy student, and look how he turned out! Positive affirmations will lead you to self-love and happiness. To get the answers, you'll need to listen to this episode, but (spoiler alert) we are often building meaning and judging ourselves based on stories that aren't true and, in some cases, cause us to feel deep shame and fear. Tony talks about how certain myths around fear stunt our growth and what we can do to resolve our fears and doubts. Tony references "The Confidence Gap" https://amzn.to/3AuBPlb by Russ Harris for this episode. Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Intimacy (aka S-E-X) w/Dan Purcell of "Get Your Marriage On!"

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 12 Apr 2023 08:13:00 -0400

Let's talk about S to the E-X, aka "intimacy." Dan Purcell, host of the "Get Your Marriage On" podcast as well as the "Intimately Us" app https://r.intimately.us/tonyoverbay joins Tony to talk about the mission that he, along with his wife Emily, share of strengthening marriages by helping them deepen their connection through both physical and emotional intimacy. They are the creator of the popular "Intimately Us" app that has been downloaded over 300,000 times. They host romantic retreat getaways for couples and host the "Get Your Marriage On! Podcast and coach couples on how to have a great sex life and deeper intimacy. You can find out more about Dan and Emily at http://getyourmarriageon.com or on Instagram https://instagram.com/getyourmarriageon/ Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Teaching Our Kids (and our inner-child) Emotional Intelligence

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 05 Apr 2023 13:39:35 -0400

Childhood abandonment and neglect issues can manifest in seemingly unrelated ways in adulthood. In this episode, Tony helps you identify how they show up and how you can help your kids become more emotionally intelligent and resilient. Tony's muse today is an article by Jonice Webb, a licensed psychologist and author of two books, Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect https://amzn.to/3GewB03 and Running On Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships with Your Partner, Your Parents, and Your Children https://amzn.to/3m9fw0B He discusses the impact of emotional abandonment and neglect on your children and yourself. Why Emotional Neglect Can Feel Like Abandonment by Jonice Webb Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/childhood-emotional-neglect/202303/why-emotional-neglect-can-feel-like-abandonment

Tony also references the article "Attachment Woes Between Anxious and Avoidant Partners" by Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/202008/attachment-woes-between-anxious-and-avoidant-partners

Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch

Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.

After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.

And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0

Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384

Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.

You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.

Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Alexa Lovell - One Year After a Devastating Accident, Surviving Setbacks and Diving into the Details

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 29 Mar 2023 08:02:25 -0400

Alexa (Overbay) Lovell survived a near-fatal accident a little over one year ago. She dives into the details of what the past year has been like, including recovery setbacks, unrealistic expectations, continued frustrations, the reality of potential addiction to pain medications, what the future looks like regarding having children, and much more. Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Entrepreneur, Podcaster, Writer or D) All of the Above - Zlatko Bijelic On Taking What Life Gives You

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 23 Mar 2023 10:03:23 -0400

Zlatko "Z" Bijelic is an entrepreneur, podcaster, app developer, dog dad, former college soccer player, and foodie. He has now journaled daily for over a year and is also a highly sought-after business coach and consultant. Simply put, while Z may appear like somebody who easily takes's life's lemons and makes them into lemonade, he has been through some really high ups, and really down downs in his life, but he continues to take what life gives him and uses it to change and innovate. You can learn more about Z at www.twitter.com/zbijelic www.linkedin.com/in/zbijelic www.zlatkobijelic.com And please sign up for Zlatko's newsletter at https://zlatkobijelic.com/newsletter Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

The Power of Community to Combat Addiction - Chandler Rogers on How the Relay App Repels Porn

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 22 Mar 2023 09:00:00 -0400

Tony gives a "state of the union" address on working with people struggling with turning to pornography as a coping mechanism. He then interviews Chandler Rogers, CEO of Relay, an app that helps people stay connected and accountable on their recovery journey. Relay makes it easy to connect with a shame-free support group, an essential tool helping access recovery tools. Chandler personally overcame a struggle with compulsive pornography use and then used his experience to give back to others by creating a group-based recovery app called Relay for people seeking freedom from unwanted sexual behavior. He built what he wished he had during his healing journey - tools to manage recovery goals, an SOS button to reach out when feeling triggered, and a system for accountability with peers, all in a private safe space. Learn more about Relay and try a recovery group for free today: bit.ly/virtualcouch-relay Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment anxiety-treatment experts use worldwide. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife on Modeling Healthy Relationships, Trust, ADHD, Narcissism, and EFT vs. Differentiation

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 15 Mar 2023 08:57:00 -0400

Tony welcomes Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife back to The Virtual Couch for the 5th time! They discuss a variety of topics, including ADHD, the challenge of helping couples envision a version of a relationship they haven't seen modeled or experienced, narcissism and emotional immaturity, and how to help a spouse "lean in" when they see their partner begin to show up differently in a relationship where the spouse had previously felt unseen. They explore Emotionally Focused Therapy, the differentiation models of couples therapy, and the role of self-confrontation not only for their clients but also in their own lives and relationships. Jennifer is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor with a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology. She focuses primarily on teaching couples and individuals how to strengthen their relationships, overcome relational and sexual roadblocks, and increase their capacity for intimacy, love, and sexual expression. You can learn more about Jennifer at https://www.finlayson-fife.com/, where she offers online courses and her subscription-based podcast “Room For Two.” Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment anxiety-treatment experts use worldwide. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. Check out a trailer for the podcast here https://youtu.be/s7K8dqJ0uD0 and you can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

If You Aren't Willing to Have It (Anxiety, Fear, Doubt, Depression et al.) You Will - Understanding Acceptance

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 08 Mar 2023 18:35:48 -0500

Dr. Stephen Hayes, the founder of the groundbreaking therapy technique Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), says, “If you’re not willing to have it, then you will.” Have what, you might ask? Anything you are trying to get rid of, from anxiety and depression to fear and loss. So what if the key to overcoming your anxiety was to welcome your anxiety in with arms wide open? You might think to yourself, “I’m willing to do that if embracing anxiety will eventually help me get rid of it!” But if that is why you’re doing it, you will continue to be anxious. Tony shares his thoughts on one of the most important yet paradoxical parts of ACT, “Acceptance and Willingness,” from Dr. Hayes's book “Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life,” https://amzn.to/421Qssr Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts worldwide. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

What if I Don't Like Marshmallows? Revisiting the "Marshmallow Test" and other Pop-psychology "Myths"

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 01 Mar 2023 08:15:34 -0500

Does smiling make you happier? Can you truly predict the long-term success of an adult based on their love, or lack thereof, of marshmallows in their youth? Is depression always linked to a chemical imbalance in the brain? Tony takes a look at 8 popular psychology studies and concepts and shares the latest research on whether or not the findings of the past still hold true. Tony references the article: "Pop psychology: Eight myths that are probably wrong, or at least wildly overly simplistic" by Christian Jarrett https://www.sciencefocus.com/the-human-body/pop-psychology-eight-myths-that-are-probably-wrong-or-at-least-wildly-overly-simplistic/ Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts worldwide. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Habit, Addict or Unconscious Response? The Latest Research on Why We Do What We Do!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 22 Feb 2023 10:58:32 -0500

Did you know that more than 40 percent of everything you do is habitual? Are you addicted to your phone or social media? Or are you simply responding to a well-worn neurological cue/reward pattern? Tony discusses the latest in habit research from the article "How to Conquer Your Primitive Brain" by Adam Piore. https://apple.news/A9pURuj3OQL-UNnUw6bnn9A Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts worldwide. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Dealing with Discomfort In Relationships...and Life!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 15 Feb 2023 08:55:52 -0500

Tony dissects a couple's potentially destructive conversation, examining discomfort and anxiety's role in our relationships. He also talks about the challenges of relying on memory when attempting to have difficult conversations. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Listen to Your Gut: What Your Tummy Tells You About Your Anxiety - Camila Smith, LCSW

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 08 Feb 2023 01:26:38 -0500

Tony welcomes Camila Smith, LCSW, to the Virtual Couch. Camila is a psychotherapist, educator, and the Chief Clinical Officer of Bekome (http://joinbekome.co). Camila specializes in gut health, with an advanced doctoral focus in mental health and clinical nutrition. Tony and Camila talk about the current state of the mental health system as practitioners which often view mental health as solely in the brain. They discuss a more integrated view of mental wellness, including Camila’s passion for taking a more holistic view, including not only therapy and exercise but, more importantly, nutrition and understanding the role that your gut health plays in mental well-being, especially concerning anxiety. Learn more about Bekome, and its customized supplements by visiting http://joinbekome.co). You can get 30% off Bekome’s customized supplements by using code Tony30 at checkout. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

McKinley Overbay - When Your Moment of Insane Courage Leads to Big Change…and a Little Bit of Throw Up

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 02 Feb 2023 15:06:30 -0500

Virtual Couch favorite, and Tony's daughter, McKinley "Mackie" Overbay joins the podcast to talk about some big changes happening in her life, and how she has been able to do difficult, scary things despite having "all of the emotions." You can follow Mackie on Instagram @beautybymackie and mention the Virtual Couch Podcast for $10 off any service with Mackie. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Eating Chocolate - An Emotional Control Strategy or a Way to Stay Present?

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 01 Feb 2023 12:57:15 -0500

Exercise, meditation, prayer, and eating good food all sound like wonderful, emotional-baseline-raising activities. But depending on how you're doing them, they could also be a way to eliminate unwanted thoughts and feelings. Tony looks at "creative helplessness" and "emotional control strategies" and how they play into our search for happiness. Tony references Russ Harris' book ACT Made Simple https://amzn.to/3l3NeDJ And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

You Say Faith Crisis, I Say Faith Journey - Understanding Both Sides of the Fence of Faith

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 25 Jan 2023 09:55:01 -0500

Tony shares new information from a recent speaking event addressing the challenges of navigating a faith journey. He talks about how difficult it is to understand any experience in life until you have gone through something similar; how hard-wired we are only to see things through our lens; how "non-violent communication" impacts our ability to separate an observation we have of someone else's behavior from our judgment; our strong desire to avoid feelings of anxiety and discomfort; and how James Fowler's Stages of Faith can provide a framework to understand ones own faith journey, as well as put others struggle with someone close experiencing a faith journey. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

10 Predictors of a Bad Romantic Relationship Explained

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 18 Jan 2023 10:07:27 -0500

Tony shares and responds to the article “The 10 Best Predictors of a Bad Romantic Relationship” by Seth Gillihan, PhD https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/think-act-be/202301/the-10-best-predictors-of-a-bad-romantic-relationship Tony also references the article “Attachment Woes Between Anxious and Avoidant Partners,” by Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/202008/attachment-woes-between-anxious-and-avoidant-partners And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast “Murder on the Couch,” where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tackling Trauma - More Lessons from "The Body Keeps the Score"

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 11 Jan 2023 10:37:00 -0500

"If you feel safe and loved, your brain becomes specialized in exploration, play, and cooperation; if you are frightened and unwanted, it specializes in managing feelings of fear and abandonment," says Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score (https://amzn.to/3QtMBPG). In today's episode, Tony explores what unresolved trauma can look like in adult relationships and what steps can be taken to overcome trauma and rewire the brain for connection. Tony completes the long-awaited part 2 of his review of "The Body Keeps the Score." You can find part 1 at https://www.tonyoverbay.com/how-trauma-impacts-us-all-the-body-keeps-the-score-review-pt1/ Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

The Psychology of the Churro - 8 Mental Health Lessons Learned from a Disneyland Christmas

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 04 Jan 2023 08:41:22 -0500

Tony shares 8 mental health lessons learned from a Christmas spent at Disneyland. 1) You’ll never really know something until you experience it. 2) Churros provide an immediate but temporary dopamine dump. 3) How to come back to the present moment, over and over again. 4) How easy it can be to find yourself turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms when triggered suddenly. 5) What it looks like to turn to a value-based activity or goal when feeling down, flat, off, or all of the above. 6) Radical acceptance, or the ability to accept situations outside of your control without judgment, reduces suffering. (from “What is Radical Acceptance https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-radical-acceptance-5120614) 7) Psychological flexibility, or “holding our thoughts and emotions a bit more lightly, and acting on longer-term values and goals rather than short term impulses, thoughts, and feelings” can lead to a greater sense of purpose and a stronger connection with the present moment (from “What is Psychological Flexibility https://workingwithact.com/what-is-act/what-is-psychological-flexibility/) and 8) From Virtual Couch guest Mike Rucker, author of “The Fun Habit,” https://amzn.to/3ClRTXG doing things, or “encoding richer experiences,” starts to light you up because you are creating an internal “tapestry of really cool stuff,” in your brain rather than simply passing time. If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

BONUS - The ONLY Goal Setting Episode You'll Ever Need w/Neal Hooper, Creator of The Achievement Tribe

Tony Overbay LMFT — Sun, 01 Jan 2023 01:18:42 -0500

Happy New Year! Whether or not you may be thinking about setting New Year’s resolutions or goals, or you absolutely detest the entire concept around goals and resolutions, this episode is for you. In this special bonus episode, Tony welcomes Neal Hooper, creator of The Achievement Tribe, a comprehensive goal achievement experience, to the Virtual Couch to talk about all things goal-related. Tony and Neal discuss why how people typically talk about and set goals eventually leads to feelings of frustration, inadequacy, and often shame. They discuss the importance of putting your values behind a goal and how to move forward even if you find yourself back to familiar patterns of feeling unmotivated or stuck. You can find out more about Neal's Achievement Tribe here https://www.achievementtribe.co/a/2147501224/zbdmeGhs If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

The Fun Habit - An Examination of Modern Approaches to Happiness w/Michael Rucker Ph.D.

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 29 Dec 2022 09:10:00 -0500

Tony interviews Michael Rucker, Ph.D. In 2016, Michael experienced a series of serious setbacks that caused him to challenge the tools he had built over the previous two decades as a student of positive psychology. Ultimately finding himself “unhappy, a bit lonely, and burnt out,” Michael critically evaluated modern approaches to happiness. He quickly realized how much misinformation was being spread, and that caused Michael to spend the next few years researching the evidence-based practices that ultimately led him to discover the real way to “invite more fun and joy” into his life. Michael's book, “The Fun Habit: How the Pursuit of Joy and Wonder Can Change Your Life,” https://amzn.to/3jAtln8 is the result of his journey. You can learn more about Michael at his website https://michaelrucker.com/ If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Whether You Can or Can't You Are Correct! Exploring the Expectation Effect w/Nate Christensen APCC

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 20 Dec 2022 09:54:48 -0500

Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” Tony Overbay, LMFT, welcomes Nate Christensen, APCC, back to the Virtual Couch for his 6th appearance. Tony and Nate discuss David Robson’s book “The Expectation Effect: How Your Mindset Can Change Your Word,” https://amzn.to/3vbtTCl Robson calls our brains “prediction machines” and says, “It turns out our brains constantly anticipate what will happen next, and this script is incredibly powerful. This does not mean, as some self-help exponents suggest, anything bad is the fault of the individual or that we can just ask the universe for whatever outcome we want; however, there appears to be some benefit in reframing experiences when our beliefs may not be helping us.” Tony and Nate give several examples from the book on the power of mindset, both positive and negative, and then give some tips on how to set yourself best up to take advantage of the power of the brain. Nate Christensen hosts a podcast called “Working Change” along with his wife Marla, and you can contact Nate through Tony’s website using the contact form at http://tonyoverbay.com If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

The Very Most Bestest Way to Change - aka Cognitive Flexibility

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 14 Dec 2022 09:54:50 -0500

Tony tackles an essential skill needed for lasting change, "cognitive flexibility," from the book ACT Made Simple - Second Edition by Russ Harris https://amzn.to/3FsneJ0 If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Hold Up, I Can't Do That...Says Who? Losing our Limiting Beliefs

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 07 Dec 2022 11:00:01 -0500

You can't run marathons after 50! You can't change your career after you've invested so much time and energy into it! Dads don't get all up in their feelings! Says who? Our pasts, our brains, our lack of understanding, that's who! Tony explores the psychology of limiting beliefs and how the stories we learn in our youth can heavily influence how we live life...until we realize we have an unlimited amount of possibility in front of us once we lose the limiting beliefs. Tony references the article How to Change Self-Limiting Beliefs According to Psychology by Nicole Celestine, Ph.D. https://positivepsychology.com/false-beliefs/ If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

ACT Helps You Do Life Better - Period! Dr. Michael Twohig on Anxiety, OCD, Trauma, and More

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 30 Nov 2022 08:50:15 -0500

Dr. Michael Twohig joins Tony to talk about his early involvement in the then “new kid on the psychology block,” acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). Dr. Twohig shares his initial hesitation in embracing ACT and what eventually led him to pursue his Ph.D. in clinical psychology by working with Dr. Stephen Hayes, the founder of ACT. He discusses the differences in using ACT to treat OCD vs. the traditional CBT-based model, and they talk about using metaphor in ACT. Tony shares his experience of how learning ACT changed his therapy practice and his general outlook on life. They discuss the differences between using diffusion in ACT to make room for thoughts and feelings vs. responding to the body’s cues concerning treating trauma. They talk about Dr. Twohig’s new online course on ACT and OCD https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch and the challenges of marketing an online course. Finally, Tony challenges Dr. Twohig to a “try not to laugh” challenge. Dr. Michael Twohig is a licensed psychologist, a professor at Utah State University, and one of the world’s most published scholars of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Dr. Twohig’s research focuses on using ACT across various clinical presentations emphasizing OCD and related disorders. He has published five books and more than 200 scholarly works and is the former President of the Association of Contextual Behavioral Science, the organization most associated with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy https://contextualscience.org/ You can find out more about Dr. Twohig via his Utah State University page https://cehs.usu.edu/scce/clinicians/twohig-michael or his private practice website https://junipermh.com/team/michael-twohig/ If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Gratitude Makes You Poop!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 23 Nov 2022 08:14:17 -0500

The science is solid; gratitude makes you poop! We often hear that we need to be more grateful to truly be happy. Is gratitude simply born of pop-psychology psychobabble, or is it actually an evidence-based way to improve our lives? Tony flushes out the details on how being more intentional about gratitude can improve your mental and physical health and can lead to less time in the bathroom. Tony also shares the story of why he still holds one of the top running times from Sycamore Street to the Covell loop in Davis, CA (yes, it too has to do with pooping). Tony references the article “The Science of Gratitude: How Thankfulness Impacts Our Brains and Business” by Kevin Kruse https://www.forbes.com/sites/kevinkruse/2021/11/22/the-science-of-gratitude-how-thankfulness-impacts-our-brains-and-business/?sh=75faa7e720cc as well as “The Science of Gratitude” by Misty Pratt https://www.mindful.org/the-science-of-gratitude/ If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Waving the White Flag Against Violent Communication - A Waking Up to Narcissism Crossover Episode

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 16 Nov 2022 07:43:00 -0500

Thanks for a slight error in uploading the correct file on Tony's "Waking Up to Narcissism" podcast; he shares the correct episode as a "crossover" on The Virtual Couch. Tony adds "The Mailbox Metaphor," a powerful Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) metaphor about how we decide to look at the "clutter" of our virtual, physical, or mental inboxes. Can communication be a form of violence? According to communication expert Marshall Rosenberg, it can if you consider "violence" to include attempts at cutting others down to size and/or coercing them into doing what we want. Tony discusses "Nonviolent Communication," and the importance of separating an observation from a judgment, something narcissists or highly emotionally immature people struggle to do to manage their own anxiety. Tony references Pamela Hobart's review of Marshall Rosenberg's book Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life https://fourminutebooks.com/nonviolent-communication-summary/ If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Reaction vs. Response - How to “Slow Your Roll”

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 09 Nov 2022 08:02:13 -0500

When met with an unexpected situation, do you react or respond? And what is the difference? According to Dr. Matt James, while some people use the words interchangeably, there is a world of difference in their meanings. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/focus-forgiveness/201609/react-vs-respond Tony shares a story of showing up late to a recent speaking opportunity where he learned whether or not he was more prone to reaction or response. Tony shares the results of taking the Implicit Association Test (IAT) https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/ and discusses how understanding how we give meaning to certain people and situations contributes to how we react or how we respond. And Tony also references Marshal Rosenberg’s book “Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships (Nonviolent Communication Guides)” https://amzn.to/3EjVZkx If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

The Benefits of Being Authentic, Healthy Ego vs Narcissism, and Non-Violent Communication

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 02 Nov 2022 07:36:36 -0400

How do you know what you don’t know? Tony shares an example of what it feels like to speak to a group of people when you seek validation versus speaking because you care deeply about the topic you are presenting. Often we hear people talk about being authentic, but what does that look like in real life, and what additional benefits come when you live and operate from a place of authenticity? Tony also discusses what it means to stand in your “healthy ego” vs. “pathological defensive narcissism,” and finally, he discusses Marshall Rosenberg’s book Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life from a summary by Pamela Hobart https://fourminutebooks.com/nonviolent-communication-summary/ If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Preston Pugmire on Discovering Your Mission, Values, and Purpose

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 26 Oct 2022 08:28:10 -0400

Preston Pugmire is the host of the Next Level Life podcast, an award-winning life coach, and co-creator of The Magnetic Marriage couples communication course. Preston joins Tony to discuss the importance of discovering and living by your values. Preston shares his story of spending many years and tens of thousands of dollars taking in information from various courses, attending seminars, reading books, and meeting with experts to create his M.V.P. or "Mission, Values, Purpose" masterclass. In the class, you will learn your unique MISSION. Your chosen VALUES. Your identified PURPOSE. Your articulated SUPERPOWERS and GIFTS. And you will create your CUSTOMIZED plan for how to make decisions and be confident in any situation. Preston's MVP Contract Masterclass is available now, but space is limited. To learn more, visit http://tonyoverbay.com/contract If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Attention ALL Parents! Part 2 - Navigating the "Family System," the Role of "Presence and Radiance" and You Really Are Trying Your Best!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 19 Oct 2022 09:58:17 -0400

Part 2 Tony discusses the challenges of modern-day parenting youth who have grown up with technology at their fingertips from birth. He reads a question from a disheartened mother of adult children who asks when the child needs to take ownership of their feelings, emotions, and actions and when will they stop blaming their parents? Tony discusses the family system and how mothers often fill the role of "scapegoat" for their children to avoid accountability. He talks about "masculine and feminine energy," aka "presence and radiance," and the need to "hold the frame" for expressive children. He continues to work on The Nurtured Heart Approach and his 4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation in parenting. If you have parenting questions you would like answered on an upcoming episode; please email them to Tony using the contact form on his website http://tonyoverbay.com If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Attention ALL Parents! Parenting IS More Difficult These Days - Here's Why and What to Do (Part 1)

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 12 Oct 2022 08:38:33 -0400

Tony talks about the challenges of parenting modern-day youth who have grown up with technology at their fingertips from birth. He discusses the information he learned from a consulting opportunity at a large tech company looking to retain people under 25 years old. He then shares the outline of his favorite parenting model, The Nurtured Heart Approach. Finally, Tony previews how his "4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation" can apply to parenting. He answers a listener's parenting question using the Nurtured Heart approach and his 4 Pillars. If you have parenting questions you would like answered on an upcoming episode, please email them to Tony using the contact form on his website http://tonyoverbay.com If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Stop Being So Clingy! Why Anxiously Attached People Can Be Exhaustingly Amazing!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 05 Oct 2022 02:05:00 -0400

Tony explains what it means to be anxiously attached and how emotionally draining it is to be in a relationship with someone who has an anxious attachment style. Symptoms of an anxious attachment style in adults can be (from https://www.verywellmind.com/attachment-anxiety-4692761) Behaviors that smother or drive their partner away Constant need for contact and support from others Fear of being under appreciated Feeling unsure if a partner can be counted on Hypersensitivity to rejection and abandonment Need to increase feelings of security Negative self-view or self-worth Positive view of one's partner Vigilance to signs that a partner is pulling away Worry over losing a partner Yearning to feel closer and more secure with others Tony refers to the articles "What is an Anxious Attachment Style" https://www.verywellhealth.com/anxious-attachment-5204408 and "How Anxious Attachment Style Affects Relationships," https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201904/how-anxious-attachment-style-affects-relationships ATTENTION THERAPISTS, PSYCHOLOGISTS, COUNSELORS, AND ALL MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONALS! You must act now to get access to Michael Twohigg's revolutionary new course "ACT for Anxiety Disorders." The cart closes at the end of the day on Friday, October 7th, 2022. Click on this link to access the course https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Get access to Tony's presentation from Monica Tanner's "Secrets of Happily Ever After" summit, which brings 32 marriage therapists and life/relationship coaches together to provide a wealth of tips to strengthen your marriage. You can sign up for the summit for free using the following link: https://tonyoverbay--onthebrighterside.thrivecart.com/shea-summit-accelerator/ If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Exploring a Better Way to Think About Your Thoughts

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 28 Sep 2022 07:21:54 -0400

Tony shares his thoughts on how to think better about how you think. You think the thoughts you do because you're the only version of you ever to walk the planet...so you think thoughts and feel feelings because, well, you do! You also need to stop telling yourself to stop thinking...don't think about a green giraffe wearing yellow rain boots right now! And finally, he reveals why it can be detrimental to believe that when you think A, you just need to think B. Get access to Tony's presentation from Monica Tanner's "Secrets of Happily Ever After" summit, which brings 32 marriage therapists and life/relationship coaches together to provide a wealth of tips to strengthen your marriage. You can sign up for the summit for free using the following link: https://tonyoverbay--onthebrighterside.thrivecart.com/shea-summit-accelerator/ If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Monica Tanner on the "Secrets of Happily Ever After" in Marriage

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 22 Sep 2022 06:37:54 -0400

Monica Tanner, the host of the Secrets of Happily Ever After podcast, joins Tony to talk about the secrets of achieving "happily ever after" in your marriage. They cover parenting, tension, physical and emotional intimacy, narcissism, and why being intentional with couples' date nights is a fun way to connect and model healthy relationships with your children. They also discuss Tony's presentation in Monica's "Secrets of Happily Ever After," summit which brings 32 marriage therapists and life/relationship coaches together to provide a wealth of tips to strengthen your marriage. You can sign up for the summit for free using the following link: https://tonyoverbay--onthebrighterside.thrivecart.com/shea-summit-accelerator/ If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Therapy, Narcissistic Leaders, and Healthy Ego - Kurt Francom Interviews Tony Overbay on Leading Saints

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 13 Sep 2022 09:50:00 -0400

Tony Overbay, LMFT, was interviewed by Kurt Francom, executive director of LeadingSaints.org and the Leading Saints podcast host. They covered the topics of therapy, treating people struggling with turning to pornography as an unhealthy coping mechanism with love, not shame, working with people navigating faith journeys, and the difference between healthy ego and narcissism and what that looks like in church leadership positions. This episode is also available on the LeadingSaints podcast in 2 parts. Part 1 https://leadingsaints.org/part-1-therapy-narcissistic-leaders-and-healthy-ego-an-interview-with-tony-overbay/ and part 2 https://leadingsaints.org/part-2-therapy-narcissistic-leaders-and-healthy-ego-an-interview-with-tony-overbay/ If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Don't Go to Bed Angry, A Penny Saved is a Penny Earned, Don't Judge - Debunking Modern Day Proverbs

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 08 Sep 2022 11:01:00 -0400

Is it truly better to stay up until all hours of the morning while reaching the depths of sleep deprivation to "work things out" with your spouse, or should you just go to bed and talk in the morning? Is it always wise to save every penny? Tony looks at modern-day "proverbs" from both sides of the coin. Tony references the articles "100 Common Proverbs with Meaning and Examples" https://leverageedu.com/blog/common-proverbs/ Lack of sleep effects: why do we get more emotional when we’re tired? https://www.stylist.co.uk/health/sleep/sleep-deprivation-affects-emotional-health-sensitivity-stress-cycle/367278 and How Much Fruit is Too Much? https://www.webmd.com/diet/how-much-fruit-is-too-much

If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and be kept entirely anonymous when the episode airs.

Finally THE Blueprint for Happiness (part 1 of 2)

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 31 Aug 2022 10:38:29 -0400

Tony shares part 1 of a 2-part podcast on his "blueprint to happiness." Tony goes back to the beginning, YOUR beginning, as he starts from birth in describing why it can be so difficult to be happy and what is necessary to maximize your opportunities for happiness. Tony breaks down competing definitions of happiness from Russ Harris' book The Happiness Trap https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Trap-Struggling-Living-Second/dp/1645471160/ and then he shares what our attachment and abandonment wounds look like in childhood and how they play out in our adult relationships. If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and be kept entirely anonymous when the episode airs. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

What it Feels Like to Be YOU (And Why So Many People Think They Know YOU Better Than YOU!)

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 25 Aug 2022 09:58:13 -0400

YOU are truly one-of-a-kind, the only version of YOU that ever walked the face of the earth. And because of that, you truly feel, think and behave the way you do because, well, you're YOU! So how did you get to be you, and how does being you cause you to show up in the world? And why do so many people try and tell you what you feel, think or how you should behave? Tony tackles what it means to be you from the book "Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom" by Rick Hanson, Ph.D. https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B003TU29WU&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_PT0G7S7YMYJMKH9MT3VW&tag=tonyoverbay-20 If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and be kept entirely anonymous when the episode airs. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

The Secret to Emotional Growth and Maturity w/Nate Christensen, APCC

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 17 Aug 2022 02:15:00 -0400

Tony welcomes Nate Christensen, APCC and host of the podcast "Working Change," with his wife Marla https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/working-change/id1582227016 to the Virtual Couch. Nate shares his 4-step emotional process and explains where we have more of an opportunity to work with our emotions to drive positive change in our lives. They also talk about the role of "gut feeling" and intuition, how sometimes it is essential to lean more into "trusting your gut," and why we must question our intuition on other occasions. If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and be kept entirely anonymous when the episode airs. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Alana and Luke Gordon On Navigating Betrayal Trauma - Love, Honesty and Control (You Can Only Pick 2)

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 10 Aug 2022 09:23:52 -0400

Alana Gordon and her husband Luke share their story of the highs and lows of navigating a marriage after discovering Luke’s pornography and sex addiction. They talk about what their marriage looked like leading up to the discovery of Luke’s addiction if Alana saw signs before discovery, and what the relationship looked like days, weeks, months, and years after “D-Day.” Alana is the Program Director of WORTH (Women of Rebirth and Therapeutic Healing https://healingwithworth.org/) and the Director of Choose Recovery Services (https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/). Luke is the Co-Director of Choose Recovery Services and the Director of the Men of Moroni and Sons of Helaman pornography addiction recovery programs (https://lifechangingservices.online/menofmoroni/). Tony’s episode about Trauma Bonding on the Healing with WORTH podcast can be heard here https://open.spotify.com/episode/1NCKsJ5ce7oSfhagyaxORi?si=74e1ef1a52bc4421 If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email info@tonyoverbay.com. You will receive free marriage coaching and be kept entirely anonymous when the episode airs. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Examining 4 Marriage Myths - From Russ Harris's Book "ACT With Love"

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 03 Aug 2022 09:08:54 -0400

Tony talks about his "aha" moment when attending a wedding over the past weekend of why marriages begin with a lot of pressure and unrealized expectations that originate from each person's family history. Then he shares Russ Harris's 4 Myths of Marriage from the book "ACT With Love" https://www.amazon.com/ACT-Love-Struggling-Differences-Relationship/dp/1572246227/ref=sr_1_1?crid=230A2KCMWA6LX&keywords=act+with+love+by+russ+harris&qid=1659530505&sprefix=act+with+love%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-1 If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email info@tonyoverbay.com. You will receive free marriage coaching and be kept entirely anonymous when the episode airs. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

You Are What You Think...Or You Think What You Are? Looking at Implicit vs Explicit Memory

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 28 Jul 2022 10:01:50 -0400

Does it really matter what you do throughout the day concerning your mental health? Tony tackles the impact of implicit memory and how the "flow of experience gradually sculpts your brain, thus shaping your mind" from the book "Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom" by Rick Hanson, Ph.D. https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B003TU29WU&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_PT0G7S7YMYJMKH9MT3VW&tag=tonyoverbay-20 Tony also references the article "Implicit Memory vs. Explicit Memory" by Kendra Cherry https://www.verywellmind.com/implicit-and-explicit-memory-2795346 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

The Positive Aspects of Negativity - Why Dissatisfaction is Hardwired

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 21 Jul 2022 16:04:57 -0400

With all of the amazing advances in technology, the increased awareness of our mental health, and apps, shows, programs, and therapists at our fingertips, why is it so hard to be happy? Tony discusses the "surprising psychology of why dissatisfaction is hardwired" from the article "Why You're Never Going to Be Satisfied With Life," by Nir Eyal https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/automatic-you/202207/why-you-re-never-going-be-satisfied-life "http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Therapy Tips For When You Can't See a Therapist (featuring The Angry Therapist)

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 13 Jul 2022 15:31:06 -0400

Tony shares his thoughts on John Kim's, aka "The Angry Therapist" article "7 Tips for Dealing with Life if You Can't Afford a Therapist," https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-angry-therapist/201802/7-tips-dealing-life-if-you-cant-afford-therapist John is the author of the book "I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck: An Everyman's Guide to a Meaningful Life." https://www.amazon.com/Used-Miserable-everymans-guide-meaningful/dp/1780723962/ John was featured on episode 107 of The Virtual Couch https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-virtual-couch/id1275153998?i=1000457707797 "http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Why It's Important to Forgive but Not Necessarily to Forget

Tony Overbay LMFT — Fri, 08 Jul 2022 04:00:00 -0400

We've all heard the old adage, "you need to forgive and forget." But how hard is it to try to forget something that someone has done to you that causes you even to feel you need to forgive them? Is it even possible to forget certain things that people have done to us, and better yet, is that even healthy for you? Tony discusses the mental health benefits of forgiveness and the mental health challenges and potential dangers of attempting to forget something significant that has occurred in your life. Tony references the article "Why You Should Forgive But "Never" Forget" by Kurt Smith, PsyD https://psychcentral.com/health/reasons-to-forgive-but-not-forget Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Creating Intimacy vs. Seeking Validation in Marriage, Exploring our “Shadows” and Narcissism or Emotional Immaturity w/ Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 30 Jun 2022 11:02:54 -0400

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife makes her 4th appearance on the Virtual Couch podcast! Tony and Jennifer discuss the difference between coaching and therapy. Jennifer currently offers couples coaching on her “Room for Two” podcast and group coaching along with traditional psychotherapy. They talk about the differences between creating true intimacy vs. seeking validation from others and moving toward self-validation and differentiation (learning how to be autonomous while still maintaining intimacy). They also discuss examples of what a secure attachment looks like in parenting and how we often unconsciously create a dependence on our spouse or our children to feel love. They touch on emotional immaturity vs. narcissism, and they break down what it means to understand our “shadow self” and how bringing our “weakness” out of the shadow can not only be liberating but also allow us to step more confidently into our strengths. Dr. Jennifer teaches couples and individuals how to strengthen their relationships, overcome relational and sexual roadblocks and increase their capacity for intimacy, love, and sexual expression. You can learn more about Dr. Jennifer’s courses, coaching, and her “Room for Two” podcast at http://finlayson-fife.com Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do - Amy Morin, LCSW

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 21 Jun 2022 16:32:22 -0400

Tony discusses Amy Morin, LCSW's article "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do." https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201501/13-things-mentally-strong-people-dont-do Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

How To Turn Big Emotions into Healing - Taming Your Trauma

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 15 Jun 2022 21:00:31 -0400

Sometimes we don't realize how childhood trauma can show up in adulthood. Even the most supportive parents often tell children "not to worry about it," or "they didn't mean it," or "it's not that big of a deal." So it's not surprising that it can be difficult to sit with uncomfortable emotions. Tony goes through Dr. Andrea Brandt's article "9 Steps to Healing Childhood Trauma as an Adult," https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-anger/201804/9-steps-healing-childhood-trauma-adult Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Understanding Emotional Invalidation - Why Some People Don't Feel Safe in Conversations

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 09 Jun 2022 10:14:53 -0400

Understanding Emotional Invalidation - Why Some People Don't Feel Safe in Conversations. Tony refers to the article What Is Emotional Invalidation by Brittany Carrico https://psychcentral.com/health/reasons-you-and-others-invalidate-your-emotional-experience#how-to-validate-someone Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Doomscrolling! When You Just Can't Stop Scrolling Through The Ick!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 02 Jun 2022 08:11:25 -0400

Tony explains "Doomscrolling," or when one feels like they can't break loose from continually scrolling through newsfeeds, or social media despite the fact that the more one scrolls, the worse one feels. Tony references the article "Understanding Doomscrolling," by Simone Scully https://psychcentral.com/anxiety/what-is-doomscrolling#tips-to-stop Visit http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and signing up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Sorry...I'm Probably Saying This Wrong! Understanding Rejection Sensitivity

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 26 May 2022 08:45:56 -0400

Have you ever felt like you were anticipating rejection as you approached a person, or situation that you believed truly mattered to you? If so, you may be experiencing a form of "Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria" or RSD. RSD is typically associated as a by-product of ADHD. If you grew up continually being told no by those you cared about, then you may find yourself anticipating being told no as an adult. Now we understand that RSD is not simply something that affects those with ADHD, but to an extent, we ALL grew up hearing no when asking for things that we want (to a child, telling them that they can't eat candy for dinner every night, to them, will feel like rejection). The more that we learn about RSD, the more we can understand how to treat it. Tony refers to several articles in this episode including the following: "What Is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria," by Andrea Bonior https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/friendship-20/201907/what-is-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria "Rejection Sensitivity: Signs, Causes and Healing" https://www.supportiv.com/anxiety/rejection-sensitivity "What Does Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria Feel like? RSD" by Dr. Jasmine Shaikh, MD https://www.medicinenet.com/what_is_rejection_sensitivity_dysphoria_feel_like/article.htm and "How ADHD Ignites Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria," by William Dodson https://www.additudemag.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-and-adhd/ http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and signing up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Shame, Shame Go Away...And Don't Come Back Another Day!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 17 May 2022 11:46:17 -0400

Why do we often default to shame? Tony Overbay, LMFT, often says that in working with individuals trying to overcome addiction or trying to be the very best version of themselves, exactly 0 out of a few thousand people he has worked with have used shame as a tool for recovery. Yet when we stop and let our thoughts take over, they often go back to the "what's wrong with me, I'm a bad person" story. Today Tony identifies the root causes of shame, why it doesn't help, and what to do when you find yourself heading down that path of toxic shame. Tony also shares the metaphor of the unwelcome neighbor, and he references Compassion Focused Therapy https://welldoing.org/types/compassion-focused-therapy http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Virtual Couch Bookclub - Tony and Nate Christensen, APCC Review "Dopamine Nation," by Anna Lembke

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 03 May 2022 08:46:20 -0400

Nate Christensen, APCC and host of the Working Change podcast, joins Tony to discuss "Dopamine Nation, Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence" by Anna Lembke https://www.amazon.com/Dopamine-Nation-Finding-Balance-Indulgence-ebook/dp/B08KPKHVXQ/ Tony and Preston Pugmire are getting ready to launch another round of their popular Magnetic Marriage course! Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to get on the waitlist. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

How to Improve Your Marriage in 45 Minutes or Less - Understanding Influence vs. Control

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 27 Apr 2022 12:53:23 -0400

What is the difference between influence, control, and love? Is there room in a relationship to influence your partner, or do you simply need to let them be? Tony takes a few pages from Dr. Russ Harris's book ACT Made Simple https://www.amazon.com/ACT-Made-Simple-Easy-Read/dp/1684033012/ to discuss the role, in healthy relationships, of influence. Tony and Preston Pugmire are getting ready to launch another round of their popular Magnetic Marriage course! Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to get on the waitlist. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Stop Trying to Think You're Way Out of a Thinking Problem

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 20 Apr 2022 12:57:28 -0400

Is it better to try and think your way out of, or through your problems or are you only making things worse? How can simply acknowledging your issues, and looking at them with curiosity actually help? Tony discusses the article, “How Analyzing Your Problems May Be Counterproductive,” by Ray Williams https://contextualscience.org/node/4935 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Do You Want Advice, or Do You Want Validation?

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 13 Apr 2022 18:06:00 -0400

Tony asks the question, are you really looking for advice or validation? Tony reads Hunter S. Thompson's iconic "Letter on Finding Your Purpose and Living a Meaningful Life." Thompson wrote the letter in April of 1958 at the age of 22 to his friend, Hume Logan, in response to Logan's request for life advice. Many believe that Thompson's letter to Logan is some of the most profound and thoughtful advice one can read when attempting to look at the true desire of putting your life decisions in the hands of others. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Hope in Healing - Working w/Couples Through Betrayal, Pornography and Shame w/Sam Tielemans LMFT

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 05 Apr 2022 20:41:42 -0400

Tony welcomes therapist and friend Sam Tielemans, LMFT, to the Virtual Couch. They cover topics from shame's role in furthering addictive behaviors to why working with your spouse can ultimately be a powerful way to enhance recovery. They tackle the challenging issue of pornography, is it an addiction or does that matter when it comes to recovery? They challenge the "once an addict, always an addict" dialogue often heard in the recovery world. And they give some new insight on working with betrayal trauma. You can find Sam at http://coupleshealing.org and subscribe to his podcast Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop on April 7th. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Alexa's Road to Recovery - My Daughter Alexa Shares the Struggles of Recovering from a Devastating Accident

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 30 Mar 2022 09:11:26 -0400

On Saturday, February 5th, my daughter, Alexa, drove to the gym after completing a week in the externship of her dreams. She was just a few months shy of graduation to become an ultrasound technician. She had committed to a physical health routine months ago and was in the best shape of her life. She was living apart from her husband Mitch for the first time as he completed his final semester of college. Upon graduation, Mitch was planning on taking the MCAT in May. They had worked hard and sacrificed a lot to get to this point in their early lives in hopes that they would both be in a position to help others for the remainder of their lives. And then, in an instant, their lives would be altered forever. A large truck ran a red light and t-boned Alex in her Mini Cooper, throwing the car over 100 feet into a nearby field. Her injuries have been nothing short of devastating. Alex, Mitch, my wife Wendy, and I discuss the impact of this devastating change on their lives and the effect that tragedy can have on the extended family, and how one event can significantly alter the future that someone had worked so hard to make a reality. In the episode, we talk about Alex's Gofundme account, http://gofundme.com/f/alexasroadtorecovery. If you are in a position to donate, please know that we are beyond grateful. If you aren't, we understand; we'll also take the donation of your prayers, your positive vibes, energy, karma, whatever you are willing to share. Thank you to everyone for your kindness. #alexasroadtorecovery

BONUS Discussing Depression with Professional Comedian Paul Gilmartin - Host of the Mental Illness Happy Hour

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 24 Mar 2022 09:53:00 -0400

Paul Gilmartin, comedian, and host of the Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast talks about his own struggles with depression, what led him to start his podcast, how meditation has helped him, what he does for self-care and why we need to continue to destigmatize and talk about mental health more in society. Find Paul at mentalpod.com Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop on April 7th. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Sure You're Cute, But Can We Talk? - Rediscovering the Levels of Intimacy

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 22 Mar 2022 22:05:19 -0400

Tony revisits the "Levels of Intimacy." Physical attraction may be enough to bring a couple together initially but is it enough to sustain a relationship when you feel disconnected emotionally, spiritually, or intellectually? Or how about when you feel like anything you say to each other is a trigger for an argument? Learn how to form a more healthy view of intimacy, beginning with psychological intimacy, verbal intimacy, emotional intimacy, etc. Discover how to make physical intimacy the natural byproduct of a strong connection. Tony first learned about the Levels of Intimacy from Dr. Kevin Skinner of ADDO Recovery while receiving an 18-month certification working with victims of betrayal trauma. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Analysis Paralysis - When Not Making a Choice is the Choice You Make

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 16 Mar 2022 18:59:09 -0400

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by the number of options in front of you? Whether it is what show to begin on Netflix, Hulu, Prime, or HBO, what major you should declare in school, or what to eat for dinner? Most of us have been paralyzed by what psychologists term "Analysis Paralysis," or being so overwhelmed by choices that we can't decide. In today's episode, Tony Overbay, LMFT, dives deep into the many reasons we find ourselves not making a decision when there are many options. Tony references the following articles in this episode. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Analysis_paralysis and "8 Tips to Overcome Analysis Paralysis (With Examples) With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visiting http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

A Marriage Therapist's 11 Tips for a Happier Marriage

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 09 Mar 2022 08:57:56 -0500

After working with well over 1,000 couples as a marriage therapist, Tony Overbay, LMFT, gives his top 11 tips to a happier marriage. If you are interested in learning more about the 4th round of Tony's "Magnetic Marriage" course, please visit http://tonyoverbay.com and send him an email through the contact form. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Have You Ever Wondered if YOU Have ADHD? Exploring the 7 Types of ADD/ADHD

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 03 Mar 2022 09:50:54 -0500

Tony gives an update on his personal journey with Attention Deficit Disorder. Tony discusses the 7 types of ADD from Daniel Amen's book "Healing ADD - The Breakthrough Program That Allows You to See and Heal the 7 Types of ADD" https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B00C1N97EO&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_KQP1DC7XQZTKX27P4HQ3&tag=tonyoverbay-20 With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony's Pre-Therapy Check List w/Bonus "Why Are Relationships Complicated?"

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 22 Feb 2022 14:53:42 -0500

Recently, Tony had a couple of clients return to his couch after a several-year gap. One client asked Tony if he could sum up everything that the client had missed during his time away from therapy? Another client asked the simple question of why are relationships so complicated? Tony shares several concepts that answer both questions, what has he added to his therapist-tools over the last few years and why relationships are so challenging, and what can one do to improve themselves so that they show up more emotionally mature in their relationships? With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Why We Need People - The Rules for Constructive Communication

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 17 Feb 2022 09:45:34 -0500

Tony dives into the research of why we need connection with others from Sue Johnson's book "Hold Me Tight." And he then shares his Rules Of Constructive Kommunication (ROCK). These 6 rules are designed to help couples move past unproductive conversations around “hot topics” that typically lead to frustration, fighting, and turning away from each other. If you often find yourself avoiding certain topics or situations with your partner, like finances, intimacy, and parenting, because the conversations never go well, you need to follow Tony’s ROCK. These rules will help you cultivate an attitude of empathy for your partner and lead to the world of productive communication. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Lessons Learned Through Tragedy (At Least Until a Time Machine is Invented)

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 09 Feb 2022 08:39:45 -0500

Is tragedy necessary for growth? Tony shares his personal experience of trying to navigate the complex emotions around a car crash involving his daughter Alexa and how difficult it can be to access tools of healing when you are the one impacted by the tragedy. Tony references the article "The Ethics of Tragedy," by Susi Ferrarello Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lying-the-philosophers-couch/201706/the-ethics-tragedy and "Finding Purpose in the Face of Tragedy and Adversity," by Ralph Lewis M.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-purpose/201811/finding-purpose-in-the-face-tragedy-and-adversity With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Dealing With Things You Don't Want To Deal With - Psychological Flexibility

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 02 Feb 2022 08:46:20 -0500

Do you often find yourself in situations or circumstances that you never asked for? If so, a) you are a human being, and b) there are tools available that can help you make the most of any situation. Psychological Flexibility is a key component of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and may be the key to becoming unstuck, even when you find yourself in completely sticky situations. Tony refers to a couple of articles on Psychological Flexibility from the website http://workingwithact.com https://workingwithact.com/psychological-flexibility-at-work/the-role-of-psychological-flexibility-in-building-performance-and-wellbeing/ With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Right? Wrong? It's All About Context!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 26 Jan 2022 07:41:00 -0500

Tony shares how understanding context can help one understand others. Tony references the article "The Importance of Context when Diagnosing Mental Disorders" by Drew Mikita, LPC, Associate Professor https://www.freepsychologyhelp.com/?p=116 With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ

Let's Have a Positive Discussion about Voldemort...I Mean Pornography (part 1 of 2)

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 19 Jan 2022 15:58:56 -0500

Tony shares his thoughts on how to best talk about a topic that carries with it so much fear, guilt, and shame...pornography! In part 1 of 2, Tony talks about the difference between guilt and shame, and why people turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms like pornography when they aren't feeling connected in other areas of life? Tony mentioned his interview with Russ Catanach on his podcast "Learning More," you can listen here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/learning-more/id1551590647?i=1000547740442 And Tony discusses the article "Let's Talk About Porn: Is it as Harmful as Society Says It Is?" https://fightthenewdrug.org/3-reasons-why-watching-porn-is-harmful/ With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

The Dangerous Dance of the Avoidant/Anxiously Attached Couple

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 11 Jan 2022 10:40:50 -0500

Over time, many couples find themselves in a familiar pursue/withdrawal relationship. One partner may feel like they are doing everything in the relationship only at the expense of getting their own validation or needs met. Still, their partner often becomes more distant when they express their frustration. But there is also a fear that if the partner stops reminding their spouse that they aren't getting their needs met, they will NEVER be satisfied. So goes the all-too-familiar dance of the anxious/avoidant attached couple. Tony shares his experiences as a couples therapist on how these couples arrive on his couch, and more importantly, what to do to get the relationship to a more mature, healthy state. Tony references the article "Attachment Woes Between Anxious and Avoidant Partners" by Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/202008/attachment-woes-between-anxious-and-avoidant-partners With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

The Need for Self-Care w/Suzanne Falter - Podcast Host and Author of "The Extremely Busy Woman's Guide to Self-Care"

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 04 Jan 2022 09:23:57 -0500

Tony interviews award-winning author and podcast host Suzanne Falter. They discuss the importance of self-care and the touching story of Suzanne's daughter Teal who passed away unexpectedly at a very young age. Teal shared some very powerful advice for how to make the most of life that continues to guide Suzanne's life. Suzanne is the author of 8 books including "The Extremely Busy Women's Guide to Self-Care" https://www.amazon.com/Extremely-Busy-Womans-Guide-Self-Care/dp/1492698539/ And you can listen to her podcast Self Care for Extremely Busy Women here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/self-care-for-extremely-busy-women/id1383377400 Suzanne runs a popular women's group on Facebook for Extremely Busy Women that, at the time of this recording, had over 56,000 women. You can find out more about the group here https://www.facebook.com/groups/selfcareforextremelybusywomen/ Or go to http://suzannefalter.com to learn more about Suzanne. You can watch the video of this episode on The Virtual Couch YouTube channel https://youtu.be/pBdki9xrkAY and please take a moment and subscribe to the channel while you're there. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

What Have We Learned in 2021? Communication, Differentiation, and You Don't Know What You Don't Know!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 29 Dec 2021 19:18:04 -0500

Tony shares 4 of his top takeaways from another year of podcasting, including a quick review of his 4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation, how important it is to differentiate from others, and why you have to go through challenges in life to realize that you need additional tools. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

The ONLY Goal Setting Episode You'll Ever Need w/Neal Hooper host of The Happiness Playbook

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 21 Dec 2021 10:02:24 -0500

Neal Hooper, the host of The Happiness Playbook podcast and creator of The Achievement Tribe, a comprehensive goal achievement experience, joins Tony to talk about why the way that people typically talk about and set goals eventually leads to feelings of frustration inadequacy, and often shame. They discuss the importance of putting your individual values behind a goal and how to move forward even if you find yourself back to familiar patterns of feeling unmotivated or stuck. The Achievement Tribe is a comprehensive goal achievement experience made up of 3 key ingredients: a proven goal system, an accountability group, and a physical planner, all in one place. Neal is getting ready to do a 2-month goal sprint in January that comes with an accountability partner, physical On Purpose Planner, and access to all the program resources to finally take massive action toward your dream life. Typically It's $300 for the 2-month goal sprint, but if you use the discount code VIRTUALCOUCH at checkout, you get $100 off. The last day to sign up is December 30th, 2021, and the first kickoff call is on January 3rd, 2022, @ 8 pm (mountain). If you want to sign up, follow this link here: https://www.achievementtribe.co/a/2147501224/zbdmeGhs and put in the discount code VIRTUALCOUCH to get the special deal. You can also sign up for a free goal coaching call with Neal at the same link. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

All Up in Your Feelings? One Simple Tool to Get Out of Your Head and Back into Your Life!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 15 Dec 2021 08:44:45 -0500

Have you ever found yourself all “up in your feelings?” Or how often do you feel angry, frustrated, depressed, or anxious? One of the most beneficial things you can do when emotions, thoughts, or feelings feel overwhelming is realize that two different things are happening at that moment of feeling overwhelmed. There is the thinking self and the observing self, and learning how to move from thinking to observing or noticing can be one of the most powerful tools to help you stay present and grounded even in the most challenging times. Tony discusses the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) principle of “self as context” and shares how this simple shift can make immediate and radical changes to your overall mood. Tony references a chapter from the Youth AOD Toolbox on “Self as Context.” You can find that chapter here https://www.youthaodtoolbox.org.au/h7-introducing-self-context With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ Have you ever found yourself all “up in your feelings?” Or how often do you feel angry, frustrated, depressed, or anxious? One of the most beneficial things you can do when emotions, thoughts, or feelings feel overwhelming is realize that two different things are happening at that moment of feeling overwhelmed. There is the thinking self and the observing self, and learning how to move from thinking to observing or noticing can be one of the most powerful tools to help you stay present and grounded even in the most challenging times. Tony discusses the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) principle of “self as context” and shares how this simple shift can make immediate and radical changes to your overall mood. Tony references a chapter from the Youth AOD Toolbox on “Self as Context.” You can find that chapter here https://www.youthaodtoolbox.org.au/h7-introducing-self-context With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Why Wanting to Be Happy May Backfire

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 07 Dec 2021 08:51:31 -0500

Happiness, as one client shared, is like the carrot at the end of a stick, and you’re holding the stick. The more effort you take in trying to reach the carrot, the further it gets from you. In today’s episode, Tony discusses the article “Can Wanting to Be Happy Backfire?” by Emily C. Willroth Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-happiness-health-connection/202104/can-wanting-be-happy-backfire?collection=1169468 and he then spends some time discussing the 6 Core Principles of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) from Dr. Russ Harris’ book “ACT Made Simple” https://www.amazon.com/ACT-Made-Simple-Easy-Read/dp/1684033012/ With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ

Night Owl vs Morning Lark - When Is the Best Time to Make a Decision?

Tony Overbay LMFT — Mon, 29 Nov 2021 10:59:08 -0500

What is the best time of day to make a decision? And what are the differences between morning “larks” vs night owls when it comes to decision making? Is one more ethical than the other? Actually, the answer is yes! Tony refers to these two articles during the episode: “Is there an ideal time of day for decision-making?” https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/minds-business/is-there-an-ideal-time-of-day-for-decision-making.html and “The best time of day to make critical business decisions,” https://sba.thehartford.com/business-management/best-time-to-make-critical-decisions/ Take advantage today of the Relationship Mastery Pack that Tony mentioned on the episode https://www.epicmarriageclub.com/a/2147499720/h3Cn8yaE Get thousands of dollars in relationship tools for one special Black Friday price featuring Tony's brand new parenting course: 3 Keys to Positive Parenting - Bring the Positivity without Messing Up Your Kids Even if You're Not Sure Where to Start! Go to https://www.epicmarriageclub.com/a/2147499720/h3Cn8yaE to sign up for thousands of dollars worth of relationship tools for less than the cost of one therapy session.

Seeing is Believing? No, it’s the Other Way Around! Plus Many More Fascinating Facts About Our Minds w/Nate Christensen, APCC

Tony Overbay LMFT — Mon, 22 Nov 2021 08:54:00 -0500

Nate Christensen, APCC, makes his record fourth appearance on The Virtual Couch to talk more about our minds and the stories they tell us to try and make sense of the world. Nate and Tony discuss several fundamental discoveries from Rick Hanson and Richard Mendius’ book The Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Science of Happiness, Love and Neuroscience https://www.amazon.com/Buddhas-Brain-Practical-Neuroscience-Happiness/dp/1572246952/ as well as Daniel Kahneman’s book Noise: A Flaw in Human Judgement https://www.amazon.com/Noise-Human-Judgment-Daniel-Kahneman/dp/0316451401/ Take advantage today of the Relationship Mastery Pack that Tony mentioned on the episode https://www.epicmarriageclub.com/a/2147499720/h3Cn8yaE Get thousands of dollars in relationship tools for one special Black Friday price featuring Tony's brand new parenting course: 3 Keys to Positive Parenting - Bring the Positivity without Messing Up Your Kids Even if You're Not Sure Where to Start! Go to https://www.epicmarriageclub.com/a/2147499720/h3Cn8yaE to sign up for thousands of dollars worth of relationship tools for less than the cost of one therapy session. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ

Why Opposites Don't Attract PLUS Tony's New Parenting Course is Part of Nate Bagley's Relationship Mastery Pack!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 17 Nov 2021 07:53:35 -0500

Tony shares why opposites don't attract in the long run and why ultimately we like people who are more similar to us. PLUS Nate Bagley, relationship researcher and host of the Growth Marriage podcast, comes on to talk about his incredible Relationship Mastery Pack https://www.epicmarriageclub.com/a/2147499720/h3Cn8yaE Get thousands of dollars in relationship tools for one special Black Friday price featuring Tony's brand new parenting course: 3 Keys to Positive Parenting - Bring the Positivity without Messing Up Your Kids Even if You're Not Sure Where to Start! Go to https://www.epicmarriageclub.com/a/2147499720/h3Cn8yaE to sign up for thousands of dollars worth of relationship tools for less than the cost of one therapy session. In today's episode, Tony refers to the article "Do Opposites Really Attract?" by Clifford Lazarus Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/think-well/201907/do-opposites-really-attract and "Why Do We Like People Who Are Similar to Us?" by Gwendolyn Seidman Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/close-encounters/201812/why-do-we-people-who-are-similar-us With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ

Why We Care What Others Think - The Need for External Validation

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 10 Nov 2021 10:02:23 -0500

Tony explores why where the need for external validation comes from. Why do we care what others think? And why the need for external validation is the opposite thing to do for self-confidence and to feel connected to others. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ

Now It Makes More Sense! How Context Creates Connected Conversations

Tony Overbay LMFT — Mon, 01 Nov 2021 21:17:08 -0400

Each of us is a unique mixture of life experiences, and we bring all of those experiences into our conversations with others. In today's episode, Tony explores the role of context in conversations. Tony shares an example of how one word can dramatically change the meaning of an entire paragraph from the book "On Being Certain: Believing You Are Right Even When You Are Not," by Dr. Robert Burton https://www.amazon.com/Being-Certain-Believing-Right-Youre/dp/031254152X/ and he shares cultural differences from the article "15 Fascinating Cultural Difference Around the World," from https://www.cheftariq.com/lifestyle/cultural-differences-around-the-world/ Tony also uses his 4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation to show the importance of curiosity and context in conversations. - Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic right now to sign up for Tony's free marriage workshop held Wednesday, November 3rd at 6 PM PT!

Am I the Narcissist? Exploring Narcissistic Traits and Tendencies (from the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast)

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 28 Oct 2021 11:55:16 -0400

Tony introduces his latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism." In this crossover episode, Tony shares that narcissistic tendencies or traits can come in many different forms and levels of severity. At the same time, as a mental health condition, there is currently only one diagnosis. Tony tackles the question of whether or not we use the label of narcissism too broadly, and if we spoke more about what narcissistic traits and tendencies looked like in our everyday lives, would more people be able to take ownership of their narcissistic tendencies, or behaviors? Tony refers to the article "5 Types of Narcissism and How to Recognize Each," by Courtney Telloian (medically reviewed by Jeffrey Ditzell, DO) from PsychCentral https://psychcentral.com/health/types-of-narcissism. If you have questions or comments, or suggestions for a topic of a future episode or if you want to share your story or examples of gaslighting in your relationships, please send through the contact form at http://tonyoverbay.com - Visit http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to learn more about Tony's Magnetic Marriage program, or visit http://tonyoverbay.com to take Tony's free parenting course, or to learn more about his best-selling book; or only recovery program "The Path Back." And please subscribe to "Waking Up to Narcissism," Tony's brand new podcast, which is part of The Virtual Couch podcast network.

Hey, I Love The Way You're Reading The Title of This Episode - Why We Need More Compliments in Our Lives

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 26 Oct 2021 09:19:45 -0400

Are compliments ever a bad thing? And how important is the delivery of a compliment? Are people genuinely going over your compliments with a spell checker and thesaurus taking offense to the improper use of has, have, or had? Today Tony tackles the topic of compliments and why it would do us all good to embrace both the giving and the receiving of compliments. Tony references the article "You Probably Don't Compliment Other People Often Enough" by Art Markman Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ulterior-motives/202110/you-probably-don-t-compliment-other-people-often-enough as well as "Scientific explanation to why people perform better after receiving a compliment," from https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/11/121109111517.htm Please find out more about Tony's Magnetic Marriage program by contacting him through http://tonyoverbay.com or by visiting http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic. . With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ

Did You Hear the Latest? Psychologists Say Gossip is a Social Skill!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 20 Oct 2021 08:43:18 -0400

Tony talks about gossip as a social skill. According to the article, "Psychologists say that gossiping is a social skill. Here's how to know if you're doing it right," https://www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/psychologists-say-gossiping-social-skill-here-s-how-know-if-ncna1056941 there is a healthy, productive way to gossip. Gossip, according to research, may actually be one of the societal forces that bring us together and help maintain social order. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to learn more about the next round of Tony's transformative marriage course "Magnetic Marriage." And please subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism," wherever you listen to podcasts.

How Certain Are You? Exploring Memory Through Popular Myths

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 12 Oct 2021 08:36:37 -0400

How certain are you about the facts of your experiences? Better yet, does it truly matter to be certain? Would you rather be right, or would you rather connect? Today Tony takes a look at certainty through the lens of 50 popular myths that many of us have grown up believing. Tony references the article "50 Well-Known 'Facts' That Are Actually Just Common Myths" https://bestlifeonline.com/common-myths/ and he references Dr. Robert Burton's book: On Being Certain - Believing You Are Right Even When You're Not https://www.amazon.com/Being-Certain-Believing-Right-Youre/dp/031254152X/ And if you're interested in hearing Tony speak in Utah Saturday, October 16th from 1 to 5 PM head to https://leadingsaints.org/tonyinutah for more information. Seating is limited. - Visit http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to learn more about Tony’s Magnetic Marriage program, or visit http://tonyoverbay.com to take Tony’s free parenting course, or to learn more about his best-selling book; or only recovery program “The Path Back.” And please subscribe to “Waking Up to Narcissism,” Tony’s brand new podcast, which is part of The Virtual Couch podcast network.

Tony Speaking at Leading Saints LIVE October 16, 2021 - Narrowing the Gap w/God, Mental Health, Faith Journeys, Communication and More!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 07 Oct 2021 10:10:29 -0400

Tony will be speaking at the Leading Saints LIVE event on October 16th, 2021, from 1:00 PM to 5:00 PM at the Wallsburg Town Hall, 70 W Main Canyon Road, Wallsburg, UT 84082. You can get tickets for the event at http://leadingsaints.org/tonyinutah. There will be a limited number of seats for the event. The recording of the event will be available publicly in early 2022. Tony will be tackling topics like communication, from communicating between spouses, parent-to-child communication, and how to communicate more effectively as a leader. Tony will take a deep dive into his Four Pillars of a Connected Conversation, and he will show how to implement the "4 Pillar" framework into a variety of situations. He will also talk about navigating a faith journey, both individually as well as a couple. And Tony will tackle everything from parenting to personality disorders (from his Waking Up to Narcissism podcast), recovering from turning to pornography, or any other addictive behavior, as a coping mechanism, and so much more. Plus, he will be answering questions throughout the presentation. Go to http://leadingsaints.org/tonyinutah to get your tickets today.

To Be Heard Is To Be Healed - Connecting the 4 Pillars of Communication

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 05 Oct 2021 08:20:16 -0400

Tony describes in detail how his "4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation" works, including how to apply the 4 Pillars in any conversation where you feel stuck, unheard, unseen, or unloved. The 4 Pillars are: 1) Assuming good intentions, 2) Don't send the message of "you're wrong" or "I don't believe you," EVEN IF you think the other person is wrong, or you don't believe them, 3) Ask questions BEFORE making comments, and 4) Stay present, lean in, do all that you can to stay out of "victim mode." These 4 Pillars, along with the paradigm shift that the goal of a conversation is to be heard, not to resolve, will lead to more connected conversations. - Visit http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to learn more about Tony's Magnetic Marriage program, or visit http://tonyoverbay.com to take Tony's free parenting course, or to learn more about his best-selling book; or only recovery program "The Path Back." And please subscribe to "Waking Up to Narcissism," Tony's brand new podcast, which is part of The Virtual Couch podcast network.

Give Yourself A Little Grace, Change Takes Time!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 28 Sep 2021 10:56:45 -0400

Despite what you hear from the self-help world change takes time, so it is important to give yourself a little more grace. If beating yourself up was the key to success, then we'd all already be perfect! Tony shares his secrets on how to become unstuck, and why we continually try to think our way out of thinking problems, and why our brain, bless its pink squishy heart, thinks it's doing us a solid by keeping us heading down the same deeply rutted neuropathways. Plus, learn the mysteries of "piloting the human meat suit." - Visit http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to learn more about Tony’s Magnetic Marriage program, or visit http://tonyoverbay.com to take Tony’s free parenting course, or to learn more about his best-selling book; or only recovery program “The Path Back.” And please subscribe to “Waking Up to Narcissism,” Tony’s brand new podcast, which is part of The Virtual Couch podcast network.

The Need to Finish Things Meets Procrastination - How the Ziegarnik Effect Impacts Mental Health

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 22 Sep 2021 08:22:20 -0400

Tony talks about why unfinished tasks take up so much emotional energy and why, even with this knowledge, it can be so challenging to begin even the most simple project. The Ziegarnik Effect is the tendency to remember unfinished tasks better than finished tasks. Tony "reacts to" Cynthia Vinney's article "The Ziegarnik Effect? Definitions and Examples" https://www.thoughtco.com/zeigarnik-effect-4771725 Understanding how The Ziegarnik Effect works can help you address procrastination, poor study habits, and more. - Sign up now to learn more about Tony's next round of his Magnetic Marriage course http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic

What's Stopping You? Discovering the "You" in Be-You-Tiful w/McKinley Overbay

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 14 Sep 2021 09:01:06 -0400

Tony welcomes his daughter McKinley (Mackie) back to The Virtual Couch. Mackie talks about what it took for her to shed the “shoulds” in her life, “you should go to college, you should be a teacher, you should, you should, you should!” and how she ultimately took action on following a path she knew she secretly wanted since middle school. Mackie shares how her depression clouded her dreams even when her parents said that they supported whatever she wanted to do in life and what, if anything, they could have done differently to help her through some of her darkest days. You can find her at Ivory Salon Suites here https://www.ivorysalonandsuites.com/ or follow her professional page on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/beautybymackie/ - Visit http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to learn more about Tony’s Magnetic Marriage program, or visit http://tonyoverbay.com to take Tony’s free parenting course, or to learn more about his best-selling book; or only recovery program “The Path Back.” And please subscribe to “Waking Up to Narcissism,” Tony’s brand new podcast, which is part of The Virtual Couch podcast network.

How to Be Happy...Scientifically Speaking

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 08 Sep 2021 11:08:08 -0400

Tony breaks down Douglas Kenrick, PhD's article "7 Scientifically Supported Steps to Happiness," https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sex-murder-and-the-meaning-life/202109/7-scientifically-supported-steps-happiness based off of Sonja Lyubomirsky's book "The How of Happiness: A scientific approach to getting the life you want." Sign up today to be the first to know when the next round of The Magnetic Marriage Course will launch http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic

How to Rebuild Trust w/ Geoff Steurer, LMFT Host of From Crisis to Connection

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 31 Aug 2021 09:08:24 -0400

Geoff Steurer, LMFT talks with Tony about how to rebuild trust in a relationship even after situations that couples believed they would a) never stand for in their marriage and b) believe healing was even possible, like infidelity and betrayal. Geoff is the host of the podcast "From Crisis to Connection" and co-author of the book, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity."

You can find Geoff at https://www.geoffsteurer.com or on Instagram: @geoffsteurer or Facebook: @geoffsteurerMFT

Sign up for Geoff's Trust Building Bootcamp by following this link https://www.geoffsteurer.com/a/18461/ZB9Pb8qW and enter VIRTUALCOUCH15 for 15% off the course.

Tony appeared on two episodes of Geoff's podcast "Protecting your marriage in a faith crisis (part 1) - Tony Overbay - Episode 93" https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/from-crisis-to-connection-with-geoff-steurer/id1290359940?i=1000522608518 and "Protecting your marriage in a faith crisis (part 2) - Tony Overbay - Episode 94" https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/from-crisis-to-connection-with-geoff-steurer/id1290359940?i=1000523235363

Sign up today to be the first to know when the next round of The Magnetic Marriage Course will launch http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic

Why Am I the Last Person to Know What to Do with My Life?

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 25 Aug 2021 08:56:45 -0400

If you want to know what you need to do with your life, ask somebody close to you. Chances are they'll immediately have an opinion. But when they do share what they think YOU need to do with YOUR life, why do you immediately think of doing the opposite? Better yet, why can they come up with an answer and direction for YOUR life easier than YOU can...because it's YOUR life!

Tony starts with Fowler's Stages of Faith, applying them to life in general, touches the bases on attachment, values, and then slides into home in a made-up land where you can be your value-based, unique, one-of-a-kind version of you...the land tentatively called "Differentiation-ville!"

Sign up today to be the first to know when the next round of The Magnetic Marriage Course will launch http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic

Take Control Of Your Own Life w/Preston Pugmire Host of Next Level Life

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 17 Aug 2021 08:56:55 -0400

Tony welcomes Magnetic Marriage co-creator Preston Pugmire, host of the Next Level Life Podcast, and award-winning life coach, onto the show to talk about the steps of accountability, and how moving from an unconscious reactor to a conscious creator will have immediate and long-lasting positive effects on everything in your life, from your marriage, and parenting to business and personal development. You can work with Preston individually by contacting him on Instagram @preston.pugmire Facebook https://www.facebook.com/prestonpugmire1 or through his website http://prestonpugmire.com

Sign up today to be the first to know when the next round of The Magnetic Marriage Course will launch http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic

Let Your Values Guide You to Happiness, Purpose, and Connection

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 11 Aug 2021 08:48:35 -0400

Tony shares why values are so important, and how a thought truly is simply a thought...thoughts do not always lead to action. He also describes the most effective thing to do when you're feeling down, lonely, anxious, depressed, or any other feeling. You can find Russ Harris' values worksheet here https://psychwire.com/harris/resources

Putting the Light Into Gaslight - Exploring the 4 Types of Gaslighting

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 04 Aug 2021 09:08:22 -0400

The phrase "gaslighting" is making the rounds lately, and with the increased awareness around the term, many people are accusing their spouses, parents, and co-workers of gaslighting them in all areas of life. A lot of times, the accuser is correct, by definition, meaning yes, the person they are accusing may be trying to convince them that what they are saying isn't true, but is gaslighting always intentional? Can gaslighting come from a place of simply being misunderstood or is it always calculated and malicious? In today's episode I cover an article on The Good Men Project's website called: 4 Levels of Gaslighting: From Unconscious to Malicious by Paget Norton, and I also give more listener examples of gaslighting.

Go to tonyoverbay.com/magnetic today to learn more about Tony's next round of the Magnetic Marriage course!

All You Need is Love...But What Kind of Love? Simplifying Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 28 Jul 2021 08:32:06 -0400

In English, we use the word love to describe a variety of emotional states. Are we talking about passionate love, intimate love, committed love, unconditional love or do you tell somebody that you love them simply as a term of endearment? Some people grew up hearing “I love you” on a daily basis in their family, while others are still waiting for the day that their parent may finally utter those three simple words that they have been craving since childhood. Tony talks about Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love, and how not only our interpretation of the word, or concept of love, as well as how we put “love” into action can go a long way in describing our relationships...from where they are now, to what you may long for. (Tony refers to the article https://www.elitesingles.com/mag/relationship-advice/consummate-love throughout the episode).

Head to tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to be the first to know the start date of Tony's next round of his "Magnetic Marriage" course.

This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ

What I Did During My Summer Vacation (aka A Therapist's Take on Disneyland)

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 21 Jul 2021 07:55:52 -0400

Tony talks about the mental health and life lessons learned on a recent trip to Disneyland, including the brain’s fascination with anticipation vs. reward, the psychological importance of nostalgia, the “Coolidge Effect,”; how to “let go and play” (http://playtheory.org). Plus, Tony shares the application of his “4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation” with his wife during a ride on Pirates of the Caribbean. Tony also discusses mindfulness tips, how “kindness wins,” and the link between ADHD and “hangry.”

Head to tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to be the first to know the start date of Tony's next round of his "Magnetic Marriage" course.

Your Brain Doesn't Have a Delete Button - A Thought is a Thought, a Feeling is a Feeling

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 14 Jul 2021 08:20:52 -0400

What do you do with those pesky unwanted, irrational, and sometimes downright inappropriate or scary thoughts? Hint - trying to stop them, push them away, or change them can often make them even stronger. Tony shares the "numbers" metaphor from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) which teaches that the brain works by addition, not subtraction, and shares the most helpful way to look at thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

You Can Have Control, or Love...Pick One

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 06 Jul 2021 09:51:59 -0400

In adult relationships, you can have control or love, but not both. In today’s episode, Tony takes a look at the concept of control. While control may be biologically hardwired for survival, it doesn’t mean that it is best when dealing with human emotion.

In Tony’s example of how a conductor controls an orchestra, he refers to the article “What does a maestro do,” from https://www.jacksonsymphony.org/what-does-a-maestro-do/ and he briefly mentions the article “Born for Control” https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2944661/ as well as “Why Controlling Others Creates Conflict” https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_losing_control_make_you_happier

The Super Power of Struggle! Modeling a Growth vs. Fixed Mindset Sets Your Kids Up for Greater Success

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 30 Jun 2021 09:32:34 -0400

Want to help your kids succeed? Let them see you struggle, let them see you fail, let them know you are human! Tony talks about a fascinating study out of MIT that shows how modeling the reality of not immediately succeeding at something can have a positive impact on kids as young as 15 months old. The article Tony references "Want to raise successful kids, MIT scientists say let them watch you do this..." by Bill Murphy Jr. (https://www.inc.com/bill-murphy-jr/want-to-raise-successful-kids-mit-scientists-say-let-them-watch-you-do-this-but-most-parents-are-afraid-to.html) also breaks down the challenges of kids growing up with a "fixed" mindset vs a "growth" mindset.

Healing From Betrayal Trauma with Brannon Patrick, Host of The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 24 Jun 2021 10:00:00 -0400

Tony talks about processing betrayal trauma with Brannon Patrick. Brannon Patrick is an expert in the field of Betrayal Trauma, and he plays the role of "the Expert" in the popular podcast "The Betrayed, The Addict and The Expert." His podcast follows the recovery journey of Ashlynn and Coby, a couple who have been able to move forward as a result of the pain of betrayal and addiction. Brannon has developed several group systems and programs for addiction recovery. He has specialized training as a Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist (CSAT) which has helped him learn how to treat sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. Brannon is also trained in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Brannon is the co-clinical director and owner of TherapyUTAH and he has developed several programs to help individuals, and couples, heal from betrayal, as well as addiction.

Whose Life Are You Really Living? A Deep Dive into Differentiation

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 22 Jun 2021 09:59:04 -0400

Tony discusses the 4 Steps of Differentiation from the article "Psychological Differentiation" from https://www.psychalive.org/psychological-differentiation/ The 4 Steps are based on the work of Dr. Robert Firestone from his book "The Self-Under Siege: A Therapeutic Model for Differentiation," Visit http://tonyoverbay.com to sign up for Tony's newsletter and to find out more about his programs for couples communication, parenting, pornography recovery and more. You can find Russ Harris' values worksheet here https://psychwire.com/harris/resources

How Attachment Styles Effect Relationships, Addiction, and more w/Nate Christensen APCC

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 15 Jun 2021 02:00:00 -0400

Nate Christensen, APCC, joins Tony to discuss attachment styles and how they relate to addiction, and how attachment shows up in marriage. Out of the various attachment styles, what does it look like when an anxious attachment style meets up with an avoidant attachment style in relationships where trust has been broken? If you are interested in working with Nate you can contact him through the contact form on Tony's website http://tonyoverbay.com. Tony and Nate are also facilitating Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back, find out more at http://pathbackrecovery.com

Ladders Make Crummy Shovels - 3 Metaphors That Lead to a Lifetime of Happiness

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 08 Jun 2021 09:32:00 -0400

Have you ever felt like you’re in a vicious game of tug-of-war with the struggles in your life? Afraid that if you don’t pull hard enough you’ll fall into the bottomless pit in front of you? What would happen if you dropped the rope in the tug-of-war with anxiety, depression, or fear? Or have you heard the metaphor about the person in the hole? The person is smart, capable, hard-working, but what if they have the wrong tool at the bottom of that hole, a shovel for example. You can be the smartest, most hard-working person in the world, and having a shovel in the bottom of a hole isn’t going to get you too far. Sometimes a good metaphor can go a long way in helping explain to others, or even better yet, to ourselves, the struggles we may have on a day-to-day basis.

In today’s episode, Tony shares Brian Pennie’s article “How to Avoid Psychological Traps - 3 Metaphors that Lead to a Lifetime of Happiness,” https://medium.com/swlh/avoid-psychological-traps-by-embracing-these-powerful-metaphors-3be3a87cc9f1

Acceptance Doesn't Mean Apathy - Tony Overbay's ACT Presentation at the Mentally Healthy Saints Virtual Summit

Tony Overbay LMFT — Fri, 04 Jun 2021 02:00:00 -0400

Kurt Francom, podcast host, and executive director of Leading Saints, takes over The Virtual Couch to share a recent interview that Tony did for their "Mentally Healthy Saints Virtual Summit." The topic of Tony's presentation was "Acceptance Doesn't Mean Apathy," where Tony shares Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) principles in the context of religious leadership. You can gain full access to the Mentally Healthy Saints Virtual Summit for two weeks by signing up at http://leadinglds.org/tony Leading Saints is a non-profit (501c3) organization that creates content (podcasts, written articles, virtual/live conferences, etc.) to help religious leaders become better.

Did I Just Have A Heart Attack? How to Make Change Last.

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 02 Jun 2021 08:08:00 -0400

Tony talks about a recent health scare "wait, am I seriously having a heart attack?" and how that led to his desire to be more present, grateful and to make changes in his life. But do major life scares, events, even near-death-experiences (NDEs) lead to long-lasting change? Tony reviews this 5 steps of the "Transtheoretical Model of Change" or TTM from the article "Why it's Hard to Change Unhealthy Behavior - and Why You Should Keep Trying" from Harvard Medical School's Harvard Health Publishing site. https://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/why-its-hard-to-change-unhealthy-behavior-and-why-you-should-keep-trying Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

Highly Sensitive People (HSP) of the World Unite...I Mean if You Want To, If Not It's Totally OK!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 25 May 2021 09:42:54 -0400

Do you often find yourself feeling emotionally invested in other people, movies, and TV shows? Do you feel like you take on the emotional state of those around you? Have you been told repeatedly to “just get over it” or “don’t be so sensitive,” or “don’t worry about it?” If so you may have heightened “sensory processing sensitivity” aka you’re a “Highly Sensitive Person.” Some estimates say that up to 20% of the population would fall under the spectrum of HSP. HSP’s are believed to experience the world differently than others, and they are often more aware of subtitles, and often process information more deeply.

Today we’ll take a look at the research of Elaine Aron from her website Highly Sensitive Person http://hsperson.com and we’ll dive deep into Linda Moon’s article from WellBeing Magazine “Highly Sensitive People - Hailing from the hypersensitive crowd.” https://apple.news/AuVshlAvgQnCQniOI2R7Ovw

Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

Ten Commandments of Managing Depression w/Nate Christensen APCC

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 20 May 2021 08:53:39 -0400

Nate Christensen, APCC (working under the clinical supervision of Tony Overbay, LMFT) shares his personal journey in living with depression and shares his "Ten Commandments of Managing Depression." Depression is a diagnosable mental illness and treatment is available! Depression is estimated to affect up to 20% of the adult population at some point in their lives and symptoms can come on as early as grade school. If you believe that you, or someone that you know, is struggling with symptoms of depression, please seek help from a mental health professional. There are many treatment options available! Please visit the @virtualcouch on Instagram for a list of Nate's 10 Commandments of Managing Depression. And if you are interested in working directly with Nate, please reach out to him through the contact form at http://tonyoverbay.com

How Many Positive Comments Does it Take So I Can Say Something Mean?

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 18 May 2021 11:29:01 -0400

You've been patient, you've praised, but at what point can you finally let someone know how you really feel? Tony talks about Gottman's "The Magic Relationship Ratio According to Science" of positive to negative interactions during conflict https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-magic-relationship-ratio-according-science/ as well as Gottman's 4 Horseman principal (Criticism, Content, Defensiveness and Stonewalling) https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/ Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

How To Both Love AND Guide Your Kids - Implementing Occam's Razor in Parenting

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 11 May 2021 09:38:33 -0400

Occam's razor is the theory that given a choice between two hypotheses, the one involving fewer assumptions should be preferred. So why do we unconsciously and often unnecessarily complicate things that we desperately want to get right, like parenting? Tony takes a look at how understanding Occam's razor in the context of parenting gives us the permission to do what so many of us are trying to do in a variety of ways...love our kids! Tony refers to Tania Lombrozo, Ph.D.'s article "Choosing the Best Explanation Is Elementary, My Dear Watson" from Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/explananda/201201/choosing-the-best-explanation-is-elementary-my-dear-watson

3 Takeaways From The World Happiness Report

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 05 May 2021 08:59:05 -0400

Tony shares his takeaways from Mark Travers, Ph.D. article from Psychologytoday.com “3 Happiness Tips From This Year’s World Happiness Report.” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-instincts/202104/3-happiness-tips-years-world-happiness-report?collection=1160830

What Does Kindness Have In Common With the Arterial Health of Rabbits?

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 27 Apr 2021 08:00:26 -0400

Everything you ever wanted to know about kindness can be learned from...rabbits. On today’s episode Tony talks about kindness, and how Dr. Robert Nerem stumbled upon a most unusual example of how both our emotional and physical health can be improved by kindness.

It’s not too late! Signups for the next round of the Magnetic Marriage course are underway. Head to tonyoverbay.com/magnetic and sign up today!

BONUS Sexuality Counselor Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife on Partner Desirability Hi/Low Desire Relationships

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 21 Apr 2021 08:45:50 -0400

In this special BONUS episode of Tony's top-10 most downloaded episodes of all time on the Virtual Couch, Sexuality and Relationship Counselor Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife makes discusses what to do if you no longer find your partner physically attractive, as well as how to communicate in a relationship where one partner has a high desire for intimacy and one has a low desire? Also, find out what men do that Dr. Finlayson-Fife says will result in them being "toast!" You can find out more about Dr. Finlayson-Fife's work, as well as her online programs for individuals and couples around their sexuality at finlayson-fife.com. And please sign up now at http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic for Tony and Preston Pugmire's FREE webinar on how to create a more Magnetic Marriage on Monday, April 26th, 2021 at 5 PM PST. Space is limited so go reserve your spot today!

How to Embrace Positive Tension In Your Relationship - Part 3 of 3 of the Magnetic Marriage Review

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 13 Apr 2021 09:08:25 -0400

In part 3 of their 3 part series, Tony and Magnetic Marriage co-creator Preston Pugmire, give the final “ingredients” to creating a truly Magnetic Marriage...Presence and Radiance, Yin and Yang, or how to step into your core, confident self and show up, be there for your partner, and, in turn, for yourself. In part 1 of 3, they talked about the 4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation. The 4 Pillars, along with truly understanding the importance of personal accountability in a relationship set the stage for success. In part 2 of 3, they discussed the “Connected Conversation Script” or CCS which then gives a literal script, or blueprint of how to put the 4 Pillars into action. Today’s episode puts the finishing touches on how to stay present when having conversations, how to stay present, how to embrace positive “tension” when we’re too often afraid of negative “contention.”

We’re only a couple of weeks away from the launch of the next round of the Magnetic Marriage course. You can sign up now to get in the queue for round 2 by heading to http://tonyoverbay.com/magentic. The course is scheduled to open for sign-ups in late April.

Can Empathy Be Taught or Learned? How to Teach Empathy to Your Kids BONUS

Tony Overbay LMFT — Fri, 09 Apr 2021 11:22:52 -0400

Empathy has become a big buzzword over the past few years, and, chances are you’ve wondered if your spouse, your kids, or your boss lacks empathy altogether? Or are you the one you’re worried about? In this special bonus episode, Tony combines a 2-part episode on empathy from 2018 into one and covers 10 evidence-based methods for teaching, modeling, and nurturing empathy.

The Magnetic Marriage Course is a hit! You can sign up now to get in the queue for round 2 by heading to http://tonyoverbay.com/magentic. The course is scheduled to open for sign-ups in the third week of April.

Communicating With Connected Conversation Scripts (CCS)

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 06 Apr 2021 08:51:20 -0400

Did you know that there is an actual conversation script that can help you become connected to your spouse? Yeah, Tony didn’t know that there was one either...until he and Magnetic Marriage co-creator Preston Pugmire (http://prestonpugmire.com) a fellow podcaster (Next Level Life podcast) and successful life coach created one. The CCS, or “Connected Conversation Script” is one of the key components to Tony and Preston’s marriage-changing course. In today’s episode, Tony and Preston dive deep into the CCS and talk about what there was a need for a script and how well it was received during the first round of their course. You’ll hear about how important empathy statements are in helping you understand your spouse...and what “landmine” statements to avoid. We’re only a couple of weeks away from the launch of the next round of the Magnetic Marriage course. You can sign up now to get in the queue for round 2 by heading to http://tonyoverbay.com/magentic. The course is scheduled to open for sign-ups in late April. In today’s episode, they cover the 4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation as well as how accountability plays a major role in a more connected relationship.

BONUS The "Origin Story" of Jody Moore - Virtual Couch Top 10 Episode Series

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 01 Apr 2021 08:47:00 -0400

Tony begins a series of bonus episodes by airing some of the most downloaded/listened to episodes over the past 4 years of hosting The Virtual Couch podcast. In today's episode, Jody Moore (http://jodymoore.com), Life Coach and host of the Better Than Happy podcast, takes you through her origin story.

Magnetic Marriage Course Round 2 Coming Soon! How to Improve Your Marriage w/Preston Pugmire Part 1 of 3

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 30 Mar 2021 09:56:57 -0400

Are you ready to take your marriage from mediocre to magnetic? Even if you don’t feel like your marriage is suffering, Tony believes that there is always room for improvement and there is no time like the present. Tony and his friend, podcast host (Next Level Life), life coach, and Magnetic Marriage course co-creator Preston Pugmire, talk about what they’ve learned after completing the first round of their highly-anticipated Magnetic Marriage course (which initially sold out in less than 24 hours) as they prepare for the launch of round two. You can sign up now to get in the queue for round 2 by heading to http://tonyoverbay.com/magentic. The course is scheduled to open for sign-ups in the third week of April. In today’s episode, they cover the 4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation as well as how accountability plays a major role in a more connected relationship.

Hold Me Tight! Conversations For a Lifetime of Love

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 23 Mar 2021 12:19:13 -0400

Tony shares the foundational principles of Dr. Sue Johnson's Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT/EFCT) from her book "Hold Me Tight." Tony referenced a review from Dan's blog "A Laughing Soul" (https://alaughingsoul.wordpress.com/2012/04/24/hold-me-tight-seven-conversations-for-a-lifetime-of-love/). Tony shares how his "4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation" a key component to his Magnetic Marriage course (http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic) can significantly help implement the tools of EFT in your marital and personal relationships. The next round of the Magnetic Marriage Course is launching soon! Go sign up now to find out details about the launch.

From A Laughing Soul blog: What Is Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT)? The message of EFT is simple: Forget about learning how to argue better, analyzing your early childhood, making grand romantic gestures, or experimenting with new sexual positions. Instead, recognize and admit that you are emotionally attached to and dependent on your partner in much the same way that a child is on a parent for nurturing, soothing, and protection.

EFT focuses on creating and strengthening this emotional bond by identifying and transforming the key moments that foster a loving, adult relationship. • EFT has an astounding 70 – 75% success rate and results have been shown to last, even in the face of significant stress. • EFT is recognized by the American Psychological Association as empirically proven. HOLD ME TIGHT presents a streamlined version of EFT. It walks the reader through seven conversations that capture the defining moments in a love relationship and instructs how to shape these moments to create a secure and lasting bond. Case histories and exercises in each conversation bring the lessons of EFT to life.

If You've EVER Been Angry This Episode Is For YOU!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 17 Mar 2021 08:16:54 -0400

We all get angry, but what do you do with that anger? Is it healthy to express your anger? If so, in what way? Should you punch a pillow, or a punching bag? Or should you just hold it in, grit your teeth and smile through it? Tony breaks down the article “7 Myths About Anger (And Why They’re Wrong)” by Amy Morin https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201512/7-myths-about-anger-and-why-theyre-wrong and tells you exactly what you can do with your anger. Head to http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic and get on the waitlist today to be the first to know when the next Magnetic Marriage Cohort begins! Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

Cleaning Up Physical and Emotional Clutter w/Anna, Professional Organizer

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 10 Mar 2021 07:41:03 -0500

What impedes progress more...physical clutter or emotional clutter? Or is the answer “C, all of the above?” Tony interviews Anna, a professional home organizer and the owner of NEAT Method in Boise, ID. They talk about how organization can be one of the best remedies for your mental health, as well as a smart personal investment to raise your emotional baseline. You can learn more about NEAT Method at http://neathmethod.com and follow Anna on Instagram @boiseneat https://www.instagram.com/boiseneat/

Head to http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic and get on the waitlist today to be the first to know when the next Magnetic Marriage Cohort begins! Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

It's Time to Make Some Adult Decisions! Everything You Need to Know About Differentiation

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 02 Mar 2021 08:40:26 -0500

Do you ever find yourself caught up in emotions so fast that you feel like you can’t think logically? Well, the good news is, you’re human! For most of us, we formed much of our internal compass from our family, including both positive and negative traits. One of the keys to living a happier, more purpose-driven life is the ability to separate our feelings from our thoughts and then move toward things that truly matter to YOU! This process is called “differentiation.” Undifferentiated people struggle to separate feelings and thoughts. Still, they often have trouble separating their thoughts and feelings from others as well, and they look to others to define how they think about situations that they find themselves in. So one of the most important things we can do as adults is self-differentiate, or learn, “to have different opinions and values than your family members but be able to stay emotionally connected to them. It means being able to calmly reflect on a conflicted interaction afterward, realizing your own role in it, and then choosing a different response for the future.”

Tony references Karen Koenig’s article “What is self-differentiation and why is it so important?” https://www.karenrkoenig.com/blog/what-is-self-differentiation-and-why-is-it-so-important and he also found information on Dr. Murray Bowen from The Family Systems website https://www.thefsi.com.au/

And Tony mentions two podcasts interviews where he was the guest, first was on Parenting in the Middle, by Kristen Goodman https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/parenting-in-the-middle/id1551041369?i=1000510695615 and The Jones Table hosted by Chelsea Jones https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-jones-table/id1524546561?i=1000510124657

Tips for Tackling Anxiety aka Bless Your Brain's Little Pink Squishy Heart!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 24 Feb 2021 02:20:00 -0500

Tony tackles the touchy topic of anxiety and gives tips on what to do when you're feeling anxious. You can watch this interview on YouTube here https://youtu.be/k1pPHfe3wd4 Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

Jessica Frew On Living a BOLD Life - Co-host of the Husband in Law Podcast

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 18 Feb 2021 08:22:36 -0500

Jessica Frew truly lives a BOLD life. She is an author (https://theboldlogic.com/free-book), podcast host of the very real, raw, and funny podcast Husband in Law that she hosts with her current husband Matt, as well as her ex-husband Steve. From Jessica, "we were active members of the LDS/Mormon faith, and just a few months into our marriage, my husband (Steve) came to terms with the fact that he is gay." Jessica tells her story that is anything but what one expects when they get married but those experiences have truly made her who she is today, and along her path, she has discovered some very profound ways to help others take control of their own life, find joy, and silence the noise that so often gets in the way of helping us navigate the realities that life doesn't always turn out the way we expect. You can find the Husband in Law podcast here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/husband-in-law/id1464470280 or wherever you listen to podcasts. You can follow the Husband in Law podcast on Instagram here https://www.instagram.com/husband_in_law/

You can watch this interview on YouTube here https://youtu.be/k1pPHfe3wd4 Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

From Codependent to Interdependent - Keys To a Thriving Relationship

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 16 Feb 2021 10:34:00 -0500

The term codependent is often used incorrectly in relationships. Yes, codependency, or needing external sources, things, or even people to give one a feeling of self-worth, is not the healthiest way to navigate a relationship, but often, with just a few tweaks, we can move a codependent relationship into an interdependent relationship. Tony refers to the article, “How To Build a Relationship Based on Interdependence” by Jodi Clarke, LPC (https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-build-a-relationship-based-on-interdependence-4161249) where she shares: Interdependence involves a balance of self and others within the relationship, recognizing that both partners are working to be present and meet each other's physical and emotional needs in appropriate and meaningful ways.

You're Coming to My Birthday Party! More on the Magnet Marriage's 4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation

Tony Overbay LMFT — Fri, 12 Feb 2021 08:00:00 -0500

Tony shows how putting the 4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation, one of the key components of his Magnetic Marriage Course (http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic) together with your abandonment and attachment programming from childhood can create a pretty incredible conversation, relationship...and birthday! And did you realize that returning Christmas presents could actually be a way to connect? Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

How To Get "Unstuck" - Understanding ACT's Pain of Presence and Absence

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 03 Feb 2021 08:01:41 -0500

Feeling stuck? Tony has the answers. Using Dr. Steven Hayes book Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life (https://amzn.to/3cBAw8Z) as his guide, Tony talks about the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) principles of "pain of presence" and "pain of absence" and why attempting to avoid our challenges, our struggles, our pain, is not only putting off the inevitable but how it is also keeping us from living the life that we deserve. To take advantage of the special limited time offer Tony and Preston share at the end of the episode, or to find out more about the Magnetic Marriage course in general, head immediately to http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic and sign up today to learn how to make your marriage the envy of all of those around. Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

Take Your Marriage From Mediocre to Magnetic

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 26 Jan 2021 07:42:12 -0500

Do you want to know what's worse than divorce? How about running a daycare with someone you used to date and calling that a marriage? Do you feel like you and your spouse are more ROOMMATES instead of lovers! Have you ever thought: "Is the spark fading?", "It's getting harder to talk to them...", or "All we do is talk about the kids, schedules, and chores (daycare stuff)?" If so, it's time to take your marriage from mediocre to magnetic! Tony Overbay welcomes Magnetic Marriage co-creator Preston Pugmire (http://prestonpugmire.com) to the Virtual Couch. Preston is an award-winning inspirational speaker, podcaster, and Life Coach. Preston has presented in front of over 1300 audiences and his podcast, Next Level Life, debuted at #1 in the world on iTunes in the personal development category. Like peanut butter and chocolate, like cookies and milk, bacon and eggs, the list goes on, Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and Preston, a successful life coach, bring the perfect mix of psychology, and motivation to the world of marriage communication to provide students of the Magnetic Marriage course with specific tools to help their marriages go from mediocre, to magnetic. To take advantage of the special limited time offer Tony and Preston share at the end of the episode, or to find out more about the Magnetic Marriage course in general, head immediately to http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic and sign up today to learn how to make your marriage the envy of all of those around. Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

Birth Order and the Impact on Personality (aka Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!)

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 20 Jan 2021 09:17:00 -0500

How important is family birth order in creating your personality? Tony references the article “Birth Order Traits: Your Guide to Sibling Personality Differences” by Jocelyn Voo https://www.parents.com/baby/development/social/birth-order-and-personality/ and “62 Interesting Birth Order Facts” https://www.factretriever.com/birth-order-facts in this episode. -Sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!-Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!-Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.-Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-Tony also mentioned his appearances this week on two podcasts, The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert with hosts Ashlyn and Coby, and Virtual Couch former guest Brannon Patrick where we discuss narcissism in detail and the challenges people face in relationships with narcissistic individuals https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/podcast/episode/25d19bf1/is-narcissism-nature-or-nurture and The Millennial Member Podcast hosted by Emily Ensign where we discuss the topic of pornography, what helps with recovery, and what doesn’t https://www.buzzsprout.com/1072564/6209683-tony-overbay-pornography-and-recoveryTony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

Be a Guide, not the Hero: How to Model Empathy, Build Inner Wealth, and Put a Stop to Shame Based Parenting!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 13 Jan 2021 09:35:39 -0500

Are you in need of a parenting upgrade? Even from the most well-intentioned parents, our kids can still walk away from key parenting moments feeling shame, feeling alone, and often, even as we’re trying to teach life lessons, we more often than not end up not only missing an opportunity to show our kids that we’re truly there for them, but we miss key chances to model empathy, ownership of our own behavior and even deeper concepts of compassion, and standing confidently on their own two feet. In today’s episode we attack parenting more from a “what not to do” by referencing Christine Hammond’s article “Shame Based Parenting, A Narcissists Specialty” https://www.psychcentral.com/pro/exhausted-woman/2018/06/shame-based-parenting-a-narcissists-specialty#1 Tony also breaks down the differences of sympathy, empathy, pity and compassion by discussing Dr. Neel Burton’s article “Sympathy vs. Empathy” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201505/empathy-vs-sympathy-Sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!-This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.-Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!-Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.-Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-Tony also mentioned his appearances this week on two podcasts, The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert with hosts Ashlyn and Coby, and Virtual Couch former guest Brannon Patrick where we discuss narcissism in detail and the challenges people face in relationships with narcissistic individuals https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/podcast/episode/25d19bf1/is-narcissism-nature-or-nurture and The Millennial Member Podcast hosted by Emily Ensign where we discuss the topic of pornography, what helps with recovery, and what doesn’t https://www.buzzsprout.com/1072564/6209683-tony-overbay-pornography-and-recovery

Parents Just Don’t Understand - A Guidebook For Today’s Teenager

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 06 Jan 2021 09:34:38 -0500

Today Tony shares some mind-blowing data about “kids these days” gathered from a couple of consulting jobs with extremely large companies who are losing young, new hires at an alarming rate compared to just a few years ago. He talks about how attachment and abandonment issues from early childhood manifest in our teenage years, and then he gives several tips on how to connect, and communicate better with your teenagers. Tony references episode 240, “I See You 2021” https://www.tonyoverbay.com/i-see-you-2021-are-you-ready-to-thrive-or-simply-survive/ and episode 237, “Here’s How You TRULY Connect” (using the 4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation) https://www.tonyoverbay.com/heres-how-you-truly-connect-aka-the-consequences-of-crummy-communication/ and if you would like to see Parks and Rec’s Leslie Knope rap the entire DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince song mentioned in the intro to this episode, you can find that here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGxzd8kbQZ8- Sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program! - This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. - Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program! - Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. - Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo - Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields. - You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts. - Tony also mentioned his appearances this week on two podcasts, The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert with hosts Ashlyn and Coby, and Virtual Couch former guest Brannon Patrick where we discuss narcissism in detail and the challenges people face in relationships with narcissistic individuals https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/podcast/episode/25d19bf1/is-narcissism-nature-or-nurture and The Millennial Member Podcast hosted by Emily Ensign where we discuss the topic of pornography, what helps with recovery, and what doesn’t https://www.buzzsprout.com/1072564/6209683-tony-overbay-pornography-and-recovery

Slow and Steady Wins the Race, Except in a Real Race - Using the Power of Story, and Analogy for Good, Not for Manipulation!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 30 Dec 2020 09:45:19 -0500

Using the power of story, or a colorful analogy can be an amazing way to help someone understand what YOU are going through. But often story and analogy are weaponized, leaving the listener not only NOT listening to the story, but exactly the opposite...looking for ways instead to debunk the story which only drives distance in what initially may have started out as a well-intentioned conversation. Tony mentioned his podcast episode last year where he tackled how to truly rock a New Year’s resolution, you can find that episode here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-virtual-couch/id1275153998?i=1000461122683 and the Virtual Couch Cookie that Tony mentioned on today’s episode was crafted by the fine folks at http://thealchemybakehouse.com you can find them on Instagram @thealchemybakehouse -Sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!- This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

-Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ-Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!-Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.-Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-Tony also mentioned his appearances this week on two podcasts, The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert with hosts Ashlyn and Coby, and Virtual Couch former guest Brannon Patrick where we discuss narcissism in detail and the challenges people face in relationships with narcissistic individuals https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/podcast/episode/25d19bf1/is-narcissism-nature-or-nurture and The Millennial Member Podcast hosted by Emily Ensign where we discuss the topic of pornography, what helps with recovery, and what doesn’t https://www.buzzsprout.com/1072564/6209683-tony-overbay-pornography-and-recovery

I See You 2021 Are You Ready To Thrive, Or Simply Survive?

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 23 Dec 2020 10:00:00 -0500

Well, life has truly handed you lemons, not just one or two, but a truck full of lemons has backed up to your driveway and not even rang your doorbell and asked you where to put them. No, the truck just dumped them all in the driveway, there’s no use complaining about them...what do you do with them? We’re making lemonade...a lot of lemonade, because you truly do have it in you to take a driveway full of lemons and make the most wonderful lemonade that the world has ever tasted. Today we discover the recipe, through acceptance, through owning your own thoughts, feelings, emotions, through learning how to communicate, to stepping out of a victim mindset, to learning how to self soothe all the way to self-confidence. Cliches be darned, on today’s episode Tony shows you how to not simply survive based on everything going on in the world, but to truly thrive. -Sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!-This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.-Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ-Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!-Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.-Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-Tony also mentioned his appearances this week on two podcasts, The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert with hosts Ashlyn and Coby, and Virtual Couch former guest Brannon Patrick where we discuss narcissism in detail and the challenges people face in relationships with narcissistic individuals https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/podcast/episode/25d19bf1/is-narcissism-nature-or-nurture and The Millennial Member Podcast hosted by Emily Ensign where we discuss the topic of pornography, what helps with recovery, and what doesn’t https://www.buzzsprout.com/1072564/6209683-tony-overbay-pornography-and-recovery

Testing a Dating Hypothesis with Tony's Friend Nathan, featuring..Can You Trust an Online Dating Profile?

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 17 Dec 2020 09:53:00 -0500

Tony welcomes his friend Nathan to The Virtual Couch to talk about dating. Why is it so difficult at times to muster up enough strength to date, how to navigate the world of online dating, are online dating profiles something you can trust? And Nathan takes us into the lab, he is a successful, single guy who has a hypothesis, a hypothesis that Tony hears often in the comfy confines of his office, but that might not be as acceptable to those who aren’t in the dating world at this time. They dig deep into the stats and data from online dating services themselves and talk about dating in the modern age. If you’re single, you may find Nathan’s hypothesis equal parts refreshing and for this episode, Tony and Nathan are looking for your comments and feedback. Just head to http://tonyoverbay.com and send your thoughts through the contact form. -Sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!-This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. -Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ-Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!-Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.-Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts. -Tony also mentioned his appearances this week on two podcasts, The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert with hosts Ashlyn and Coby, and Virtual Couch former guest Brannon Patrick where we discuss narcissism in detail and the challenges people face in relationships with narcissistic individuals https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/podcast/episode/25d19bf1/is-narcissism-nature-or-nurture and The Millennial Member Podcast hosted by Emily Ensign where we discuss the topic of pornography, what helps with recovery, and what doesn’t https://www.buzzsprout.com/1072564/6209683-tony-overbay-pornography-and-recovery

Acceptance Equals Awesome, NOT Apathy

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 15 Dec 2020 15:11:16 -0500

Acceptance can be both liberating and confusing. To accept that you may not be a professional baseball playing astronaut who marries a supermodel and lives in a mansion overlooking the beach can in one sense be the end of a dream (OK, a pretty far fetched dream, to be fair). Often our brains are afraid of accepting our current situation because we fear that with acceptance comes apathy. More often, however, acceptance can be empowering. Accepting that you are a human, full of emotion, thoughts, frustrations, fears, and more, actually allows you to move forward without the feeling of shame. For many people, that movement can be the first step toward an incredibly rewarding, sometimes frustrating, sometimes exhilarating life. Tony also refers to the article What Are Primary Emotions? Learn To Understand Your Instincts https://blog.mindvalley.com/primary-emotions/ - Sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program! - This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.-Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ-Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!-Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.-Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts. -Tony also mentioned his appearances this week on two podcasts, The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert with hosts Ashlyn and Coby, and Virtual Couch former guest Brannon Patrick where we discuss narcissism in detail and the challenges people face in relationships with narcissistic individuals https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/podcast/episode/25d19bf1/is-narcissism-nature-or-nurture and The Millennial Member Podcast hosted by Emily Ensign where we discuss the topic of pornography, what helps with recovery, and what doesn’t https://www.buzzsprout.com/1072564/6209683-tony-overbay-pornography-and-recovery

Here’s How You TRULY Connect! (aka The Consequences of Crummy Communication)

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 08 Dec 2020 09:38:00 -0500

Tony talks about how to get to the deeper parts of a conversation with your spouse using his 4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation. Without the right communication skills, and techniques, you’re not simply having an unproductive conversation, you’re missing out on an opportunity to truly connect, and grow closer to your spouse. And these techniques are not as difficult to put into practice, they just don’t come naturally. - Sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program! - This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.-Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ-Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!-Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.-Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts. -Tony also mentioned his appearances this week on two podcasts, The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert with hosts Ashlyn and Coby, and Virtual Couch former guest Brannon Patrick where we discuss narcissism in detail and the challenges people face in relationships with narcissistic individuals https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/podcast/episode/25d19bf1/is-narcissism-nature-or-nurture and The Millennial Member Podcast hosted by Emily Ensign where we discuss the topic of pornography, what helps with recovery, and what doesn’t https://www.buzzsprout.com/1072564/6209683-tony-overbay-pornography-and-recovery

Using Tiny Habits To Bring About Large Changes with Abby Green

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 03 Dec 2020 09:33:00 -0500

With the New Year soon approaching, it’s time to talk habits! Inevitably millions of people will start to look at creating new habits, and breaking old ones and guest Abby Green has done all the research on habit formation so you don’t have to! Abby is a certified Tiny Habit’s instructor, successful life coach, wife, and mother of four vibrant children so she understands that sometimes you only have a short amount of time to work with when it comes to self-care, and especially the formation of new habits. Abby and Tony discuss in detail BJ Fogg’s breakthrough book “Tiny Habit’s” and Abby talks about the formula that BJ has developed over years of research that bring results. Abby mentions her “Health Holiday Habits Challenge” during the episode and she’s offering a discount on her program of habit change which begins on December 7th. Go to http://simplythrivenow.com for more information. - Sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program! - This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.-Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ-Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!-Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.-Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts. -Tony also mentioned his appearances this week on two podcasts, The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert with hosts Ashlyn and Coby, and Virtual Couch former guest Brannon Patrick where we discuss narcissism in detail and the challenges people face in relationships with narcissistic individuals https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/podcast/episode/25d19bf1/is-narcissism-nature-or-nurture and The Millennial Member Podcast hosted by Emily Ensign where we discuss the topic of pornography, what helps with recovery, and what doesn’t https://www.buzzsprout.com/1072564/6209683-tony-overbay-pornography-and-recovery

When You Feel Like You’re Trying More Than Your Spouse w/Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife (Plus When Narcissistic Traits Show Up in Marriage)

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 01 Dec 2020 08:25:00 -0500

Relationship and sexuality expert Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-fife (http://finlayson-fife.com) returns for her 3rd time to the Virtual Couch! On today’s episode, Tony and Jennifer discuss the challenges that occur in relationships when one partner finds themselves often feeling like they are more invested. Tony shares his observations from over 1,000 couples that have come through his office, as well as his preparation for his upcoming Magnetic Marriage course, that couples often settle into two camps, one with more of an anxious, “needy” or “clingy” attachment style, the other a more avoidant, “arms-length” attachment style. So the more the anxious attachment presses to have their needs met, the more the avoidant attachment tends to pull away. They also answer an email from a fan of both Tony and Jennifer who asks how to show up “all in” to the marriage when one spouse may have narcissistic traits or tendencies? - Sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program! - This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.-Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ-Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/-Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.-Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts. -Tony also mentioned his appearances this week on two podcasts, The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert with hosts Ashlyn and Coby, and Virtual Couch former guest Brannon Patrick where we discuss narcissism in detail and the challenges people face in relationships with narcissistic individuals https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/podcast/episode/25d19bf1/is-narcissism-nature-or-nurture and The Millennial Member Podcast hosted by Emily Ensign where we discuss the topic of pornography, what helps with recovery, and what doesn’t https://www.buzzsprout.com/1072564/6209683-tony-overbay-pornography-and-recovery

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire! Telling the Truth About Compulsive, Pathological and White Lies

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 24 Nov 2020 10:00:00 -0500

Liar, Liar Pants On Fire! Do you lie? Come on, we all do right? Or do we? What’s the difference between a pathological liar, a compulsive liar, and somebody who just tells a little white lie because they don’t want to hurt anyone's feelings? -This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

-Tony also mentioned his appearances this week on two podcasts, The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert with hosts Ashlyn and Coby, and Virtual Couch former guest Brannon Patrick where we discuss narcissism in detail and the challenges people face in relationships with narcissistic individuals https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/podcast/episode/25d19bf1/is-narcissism-nature-or-nurture and The Millennial Member Podcast hosted by Emily Ensign where we discuss the topic of pornography, what helps with recovery, and what doesn’t https://www.buzzsprout.com/1072564/6209683-tony-overbay-pornography-and-recovery-Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ-Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!-Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.-Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.--You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts. https://vurbl.com/station/virtualcouch

Managing Marital Entropy...Why Doing Something, ANYTHING For Your Marriage...is Better Than Nothing At All!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 17 Nov 2020 08:57:00 -0500

For most of us, when we think of our marital relationships our minds don’t immediately go to the second law of thermodynamics, or entropy, but according to some marriage researchers, there is definitely a correlation. According to Stephen F. Duncan, entropy suggests that “starting on your wedding day, your marriage will begin a slow downward slide--that is unless you take action. Entropy is caused by inattention to the emotionally soft underbelly of a marriage, which needs constant attention. We have to do something active to counteract the erosion processes that are a natural and normal part of most marriages.” In today’s episode, we’ll talk about what that action looks like, and Tony will give a sneak peek of sorts to his upcoming Magnetic Marriage course on marriage communication. Tony references the article Resisting Marital Entropy by Sue Bergin https://magazine.byu.edu/article/resisting-marital-entropy/ -This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

I Think, Therefore I Am...I Think...Can You Control Your Thoughts? W/Bonus Analysis Paralysis

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 11 Nov 2020 07:33:00 -0500

Have you ever heard that you can somewhat easily choose to be happy by simply switching all your thoughts from unhappy, to happy? Sure, that sounds fantastic, but unfortunately, it's not that simple, and there's plenty of data that shows that for some, it can make matters worse! Within the day, or the hour, or even the minute, chances are your thoughts have been all over the map. Happy, sad, angry, funny, scary, manipulative, inappropriate, these are just a few of the many thoughts that somewhat magically appear in the theater of the brain. For some reason, we let our thoughts often dictate our moods, as well as our actions, when in reality all they are are thoughts...just images, and words, that can bring a slew of emotions along with them. Plus Tony discusses "analysis paralysis" from the article "Analysis Paralysis: When Thinking Too Much Blocks You" by Jennifer Delgado https://psychology-spot.com/analysis-paralysis/-This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.-Tony also mentioned his appearances this week on two podcasts, The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert with hosts Ashlyn and Coby, and Virtual Couch former guest Brannon Patrick where we discuss narcissism in detail and the challenges people face in relationships with narcissistic individuals https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/podcast/episode/25d19bf1/is-narcissism-nature-or-nurture and The Millennial Member Podcast hosted by Emily Ensign where we discuss the topic of pornography, what helps with recovery, and what doesn’t https://www.buzzsprout.com/1072564/6209683-tony-overbay-pornography-and-recovery-Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ-Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!-Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.-Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.--You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, Relationship And Sexuality Counselor On The Roles of Sexuality In Marriage REPLAY

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 04 Nov 2020 09:01:00 -0500

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-fife (www.finlayson-fife.com) a popular relationship and sexuality counselor, joins Tony on the podcast to talk about the challenges around sexuality that women face growing up in a faith-based culture. Dr. Finlayson-fife is a licensed psychotherapist with a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Boston College. She wrote her dissertation on LDS women and sexuality, has taught college-level courses on human sexuality, and she currently teaches online and community-based relationship and sexuality courses to LDS couples. She is a frequent contributor on the subjects of sexuality, mental health, and spirituality to LDS-themed blogs, magazines, and podcasts. She also maintains a private practice in Chicago where she lives with her husband and three children. You can find out more about her programs, including the one discussed on the podcast, the Art of Desire, on her website https://www.finlayson-fife.com/

Tony also mentioned his appearances this week on two podcasts, The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert with hosts Ashlyn and Coby, and Virtual Couch former guest Brannon Patrick where we discuss narcissism in detail and the challenges people face in relationships with narcissistic individuals https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/podcast/episode/25d19bf1/is-narcissism-nature-or-nurture and The Melinneal Member Podcast hosted by Emily Ensign where we discuss the topic of pornography, what helps with recovery, and what doesn’t https://www.buzzsprout.com/1072564/6209683-tony-overbay-pornography-and-recovery

Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!

Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.

Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.

You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.

Making The Best of That 3-Legged Chair In Your Mind...Thoughts, It's All About Context

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 27 Oct 2020 09:17:00 -0400

What if your thoughts, even ones that you previously considered to be negative, harmful, unproductive, or even toxic, when put into context weren’t the monsters that you have made them out to be? Welcome to the world of Functional Contextualism.” This key principle of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) will help you understand that often even our most unproductive thoughts when put into the right context, can simply be stories that our brain is trying to get us to buy into in order to protect us. Too often we hear that we simply need to change the thought, and your behavior will naturally follow. But this isn’t as easy as we make it out to be. Have you ever thought about running away from a situation and then stayed? Or have you ever gotten so mad at someone that you thought about yelling at them to get even...and then not yelled at them? Then clearly your thoughts don’t always control your behaviors. The key is learning how to put the thoughts in the proper context. In today’s episode, we’re going to geek out on an ACT term called “Functional Contextualism.” Functional Contextualism will help you immediately make a small shift in your thought process to recognize thoughts for what they truly are, just pictures and words inside of our head...yet we often give them too much meaning...when taken into context, our thoughts can be clues to what we’re truly afraid of, and, better yet, what we truly want.

In this episode, Tony references Russ Harris’ values worksheet, as well as a sample chapter from his book, ACT Made Simple. You can find this information here https://res.cloudinary.com/psychwire/image/upload/v1519263962/pw.com/resources/harris/Values_Checklist_-_Russ_Harris.pdf and here https://psychwire.com/harris/resources

Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

My Bad! Learning the Power Behind Personal Accountability!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 21 Oct 2020 04:00:00 -0400

My bad! These two simple words can do more to diffuse a potentially charged situation than almost any other in the English language. Personal accountability is a skill that can be developed, and when acknowledged, “owning it” can cause a ripple effect in your life, and can have a significant positive impact on your relationships. In today’s episode, Tony references the article How To Help Your Child with Accountability by Erin Leonard Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/peaceful-parenting/201902/how-help-your-child-accountability and then applies this information, and more, into our adult relationships. Why is it so difficult to admit fault, and how does our own lack of ownership of our own problems affect our children, as well as our relationships with others?

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

You Should Know That Cognitive Distortions Never Work, Yet You Always Use Them!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 14 Oct 2020 08:58:00 -0400

Do you always feel like you’re never going to get what you want? Do you continuously find yourself thinking, “I should have done that differently?” (Knowing that NOBODY likes to be “should on?”). Or have you ever found yourself in the midst of what feels like a pretty good day, when one thing goes south and then you feel like your entire day is shot? Welcome to the world of “cognitive distortions.” These negative patterns of thinking are all-to-common, but they lead to increased feelings of anxiety and worry...two feelings that I believe we have enough of already...we certainly don’t need our automatic thought processes piling on as well. In today’s episode, Tony references the article “Challenging Our Cognitive Distortions and Creating Positive Outlooks,” by Dana White, LMHC, from Psychcentral.com https://psychcentral.com/lib/challenging-our-cognitive-distortions-and-creating-positive-outlooks/

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Restoring Trust, Gaslighting, What if I DO Know Better? You Say Impulsion and I Say Compulsion? Your Questions, Tony's Answers!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 06 Oct 2020 12:33:00 -0400

How can a couple rebuild trust in a marriage? Is gaslighting really as big of a problem as people make it out to be...come on, really? (See what I did there...I was gaslighting!!). And what if I honestly, truly, at my very core believe that I know my spouse better than they do...can I tell them what to do about it? And what is the difference between an impulse, and a compulsion and why is that extremely important when talking about any type of addictive behavior? These questions, and more, are addressed in this question and answer episode. If you have questions for a future episode of The Virtual Couch, please visit http://tonyoverbay.com and submit your question through the contact link.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

BONUS Understanding the 5 Love Languages

Tony Overbay LMFT — Fri, 02 Oct 2020 08:38:00 -0400

In this special BONUS episode, and in preparation for the coming announcement of Tony's upcoming Magnetic Marriage communication course, he tackles the frequently referenced but rarely understood 5 Love Languages. Back in 1995, Ph.D. and Marriage Therapist Gary Chapman released a book called "The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate." In the book, Chapman outlines five ways to express and experience love. These 5 love languages are: receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service (devotion), and physical touch. For many couples, reading about, and discovering their partner's love language (and their own) is one of the first steps toward trying to repair a damaged relationship. For newlyweds, this can be a very important foundational principle for a healthy marriage. In this episode, Tony explores each one of the love languages as well as how understanding them can benefit you and your partner.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Can You Truly Fake It Until You Make It? Putting The Expectation Effect in Action!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 29 Sep 2020 09:36:00 -0400

Years ago a fascinating study was conducted where two groups of people were randomly assigned some rats. One group was told that their rats were “Maze-bright,” meaning that their rats had been bread to figure out how to get through mazes fast! The other group was told that their rats were “Maze-dull” and that they had just your standard, run-of-the-mill rats. Both groups of people were given 5 days to train their rats to get through a complicated maze. When the two groups of rats were then put to the test, the rats that were deemed “Maze-bright” made it through twice as fast as the “Maze-dull,” rats...despite the fact that there truly wasn’t such a thing as a maze-bright or maze-dull rat! Did the rats “fake it until they made it” or were they privy to what psychologists call the “expectancy effect?”

Tony takes a look at the article The Expectancy Effect: Improve Performance With This Human Behavior Quirk by Vanessa Van Edwards, national best-selling author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People and a founder of the popular website Science of People. https://www.scienceofpeople.com/expectancy-effect/

Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Is Self-care Self-ish? That Would Be a Big, Fat NO! Diving Deep into Your Emotional Baseline

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 23 Sep 2020 08:58:00 -0400

Is self-care self-ish? Or is self-care an absolute necessity in order to put yourself in a position to succeed in any, and we’re talking ANYTHING you want to accomplish in life? Today Tony talks about the “Emotional Baseline” a concept he developed over a decade ago that has helped thousands of people make positive strides toward accomplishing THEIR goals...not the goals placed on this by those in their lives who, bless their hearts, mean well. Tony discusses the origin of the Emotional Baseline theory, what role it plays in overcoming depression, addiction, anxiety, and how to establish self-care strategies based specifically on YOUR life experiences.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Is Pornography Addiction Real? Everything You Wanted to Know (And Didn't Know You Wanted To Know) About Porn Addiction

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 15 Sep 2020 09:49:00 -0400

Tony tackles the topic of pornography today in a completely strength-based, hold-the-shame, become the person you always wanted to be way. He addresses the age-old question of whether or not pornography addiction is even a diagnosable condition...and better yet, does that matter? Tony shares his views on “the voids” in one’s life that typically lead to the brain wanting to cope, or check-out, by viewing pornography. These voids include the lack of connection in marriage, in parenting, not feeling satisfied in your career, not feeling good about your health, and feeling disconnected with your concept of faith. Tony reads from his book, “He’s a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions” available through the following links: https://amzn.to/33fk0U4 paperback https://amzn.to/38hRcx3 Kindle version https://amzn.to/2G30PDu Hardcover version

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

It's Time to Start Your Own Podcast! Rachel Nielson of 3 in 30 and Monica Packer of About Progress Discuss Podcast U!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 08 Sep 2020 09:01:00 -0400

Rachel Nielson, host of the 3 in 30 Takeaways For Mom’s Podcast (https://3in30podcast.com/) and Monica Packer, host of the About Progress Podcast (https://aboutprogress.com/) join Tony to talk podcasting, specifically, what it takes to start your own podcast. Rachel and Monica have created Podcast U, an online course to help teach people how to start and grow impactful podcasts. To learn more about Podcast U please click here https://www.podcastu.co/a/18731/NSZ9J5wB or if you simply want to test the waters by signing up for the free classes that they mention on the podcast, please click here https://www.podcastu.co/a/33963/NSZ9J5wB

In this episode, Rachel, Monica, and Tony talk about the challenges of starting a podcast, from the inevitable “impostor syndrome” that plagues so many wanna-be podcasters, to the minefield of knowing what equipment to purchase, what to do with the audio files you create, and how to stay consistent with a message that means something to you. They share early struggles, as well as successes and talk about the challenges of booking guests, monetization, and what to do when the guests and/or equipment aren’t cooperating. You can watch this interview on YouTube here https://youtu.be/QoQguqGyOjY (and please take a moment to subscribe to the YouTube channel if you don't mind).

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Hold On to Your Hippocampus - The Impact of Narcissistic Abuse On The Brain

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 01 Sep 2020 17:04:00 -0400

It’s true that the diagnosis of narcissism is being handed out a bit too liberally, but this toxic personality disorder definitely does exist, with some experts saying that it's clearly becoming more prevalent with each generation. There is a growing body of research that now shows how long-term narcissistic abuse affects the hippocampus, and the amygdala of the brain, areas that regulate memory, and control emotion. And while someone may not be your classic, malicious or malignant narcissist (there are several sub-types of narcissism), even someone with narcissistic tendencies, or “dustings” can do emotional, and physical damage to those they interact with. Tony also gives his 5 tips to surviving narcissistic abuse. Tony refers to the article “Neuroscience: The shocking impact narcissistic abuse has on the brain,” by Lachlan Brown from https://hackspirit.com/3859-2/

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Kick Those Bad Habits to the Curb...and No White Knuckling It!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 25 Aug 2020 09:57:00 -0400

It's time to break some old habits and create some new ones...the good kind! Tony covers Richard Jerome's Realsimple.com article "Yes, You Can Kick That Bad Habit!" https://apple.news/AmpZULFi8QkCRuwgWAWaDQQ Are you "addicted" to your phone? Have you ever found yourself mindlessly scrolling through Instagram or Facebook thinking "just 3 more seconds and I'll exit," again and again and again? And how many days does it truly take to create a new habit (hint, it's not 21 days!)? Jerome covers how our habits evolved, how to "hack" the habit center of the brain, and why "white-knuckling" addiction doesn't work.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Everything I've Learned From The Therapist Chair - The Trilogy (Pt3)

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 18 Aug 2020 02:00:00 -0400

Tony covers items 11 through 14 of his ever-growing list of “Everything I Know,” aka all of the things he’s learned from the therapist’s chair. In today’s episode he covers: If you’re going to say yes to someone, then say yes enthusiastically...don’t play the martyr, “well, I guess you can go with your friend, but I’m not happy about it!” Playing the martyr does nothing to improve the relationship, but it definitely pushes those around us away! Learn to “drop the rope of the tug-of-war with unproductive people, thoughts, and even stories that your own brain is telling you. One of the most powerful ways to disengage from unproductive thoughts, conversations, and people is to simply step back and say, “huh, I’ll have to give that some thought?” Wish others well, it’s that simple...while we mourn with those who mourn, we can also rejoice with those who are rejoicing! And finally, things aren’t typically as bad as you think...go to the party, drop something off at your neighbors...Tony goes in depth with his understanding of how the brain simply wants to relax and expend as little energy as possible in hopes of living forever...bless your brains little, pink, squishy heart!

This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Julie Lee, Author of "I See You" How Compassion and Connection Save Lives

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 11 Aug 2020 09:20:00 -0400

Tony welcomes Julie Lee, author of “I See You” back to The Virtual Couch. Julie talks about the surprising series of events that led to the writing of her book, “I See You” and discussed the challenges of completing the book while the world turned upside down through quarantine and the uncertainty of the pandemic. Julie talks about why interacting with, and truly seeing those around you is so important for not only the mental health of the individual but also for the collective mental health of society. Julie and Tony talk about a touching moment during Julie’s first appearance on the Virtual Couch where they talked about how important it is for people to feel seen and understood before getting to a point where they begin to feel hopeless. Julie’s book is available now on Amazon https://amzn.to/33N957S or you can purchase directly through Julie’s publisher here https://www.cedarfort.com/collections/julie-lee-collection use coupon code PRE15 for 15% off (and I personally purchased the version with the I See You bracelet!). You can also learn more about Julie including her podcast, I See You at http://julieleespeaks.com

Tony’s new website is live! Please go to http://tonyoverbay.com now and sign up for the newsletter to be the first to hear of his upcoming Magnet Marriage course!

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Human/Sex Trafficking, How to Protect Your Family with Leonard, Former Inmate

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 06 Aug 2020 08:44:00 -0400

Tony interviews Leonard, a former inmate, and medical professional, who was recently released from jail where he learned a tremendous amount of information on how to protect our children from the dangers of human trafficking. While in jail, Leonard, a father himself, learned from people imprisoned for the crimes of human trafficking, about the specifics of who and how they target through social media, from Facebook and Instagram to Kik and Snapchat. Leonard wanted to share the information that he learned in an effort to help spread the word about how many unsuspecting teens are being groomed, sometimes right underneath their parents seemingly watchful eyes, by very intentional, manipulative, organized individuals who pose as peers leading, at times, to ultimately devastating consequences. In the episode Tony mentioned the organization Stand Up Placer (www.standupplacer.org/) If you are a victim of Human Trafficking, or believe you may be involved in a potential Human Trafficking situation, please call the National Human Trafficking Hotline at (888) 373-7888 or you can visit humantraffickinghotline.org/ You can also find information there if you are interested in learning more about how you can help fight Human Trafficking.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Everything I've Learned From The Therapist Chair The B-sides

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 04 Aug 2020 09:40:00 -0400

Tony covers 7 through 10 of his ever-growing list of “Everything I Know,” aka all of the things he’s learned from his therapist’s chair. In today’s episode he covers: Let’s assume that people don’t wake up and think “What can I do today to hurt my partner?” Working from that assumption, you’re in a much better position to see that person with empathy, instead of from the depths of your bunker. Also, “to be heard is to be healed,” we all want to know that we matter to someone, that they are there for us, that somebody has our backs. And finally, nobody likes to be “should on,” including our own brains (which is why telling yourself NOT to think about a pink elephant with wings...wearing a tutu causes you to do the exact opposite...you’re thinking about it right now aren’t you!?). Tony also tells the “story of two couples,” both come to therapy after traumatic events and one year later how different each couple looks based on the work that they did over the past year.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Everything I've Learned From The Therapist Chair: Side 1

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 28 Jul 2020 09:47:15 -0400

Tony covers items 1 through 6 of his ever-growing list of “Everything I Know,” aka all of the things he’s learned from his therapist’s chair. In today’s episode he covers: What if you’re NOT broken (ACT vs CBT), You’re the only version of YOU so far on the Earth (at least as far as you know), Why it is imperative to seek first to understand before being understood (and who said that Paul of New Testament times, or Stephen Covey?), Is “Pure Empathy” attainable? And why it is so important to own your own...stuff, life, shiz-am, truth, actions, or d) all of the above?

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

The Keys to Fixing a Broken Heart

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 21 Jul 2020 18:21:00 -0400

Don’t you know that breaking up, is, hard to do? Hopefully you were singing that to the tune of the Neal Sedaka hit of the same name that was first released in 1960? And Sedaka wasn’t the first to use the phrase to express just how difficult it can be to move on not only from a relationship that has simply grown apart, but even from a relationship that many would view as toxic, or trauma bonded. In this episode Tony shares why it can be so hard to move on from a relationship and what one can do to make the process easier. Tony refers to the TED Talk “How to Fix a Broken Heart” by psychologist Guy Winch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0GQSJrpVhM

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

How To Respond To Someone In Need

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 14 Jul 2020 09:48:26 -0400

What do you say when somebody turns to you in their time of need? It may sound simple, but in reality, there’s a chance that your thoughts and phrases of support may leave someone feeling unheard and even more alone. In today’s episode, Tony shares how to truly listen, and be there for somebody who has recently gone through a traumatic event...from learning of a spouses infidelity to losing a loved one, or a job, the ability to truly listen, and empathize will go a long way toward helping one heal, as well as strengthening your bond with the person who initially turned to you for help. Tony references Jessi Beyer’s article “Things NOT to Say to Someone…” https://jessibeyerinternational.com/things-not-to-say-trauma-healing/

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

How Trauma Impacts Us All - The Body Keeps The Score Review Pt1

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 07 Jul 2020 09:35:01 -0400

Tony reviews the life-changing book The Body Keeps the Score, by Bessel van der Kolk M.D. https://amzn.to/2VUcMEd “Trauma is a fact of life…one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s foremost experts on trauma, has spent over three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust.” In part 1 of many episodes on the subject, Tony talks in depth about what trauma is, how it effects our attachment styles and kids, and how that can complicate our lives, and relationships as adults.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Emotions Aren't The Boss Of You! Using Expansion To Master Anger, Fear, Sadness and More

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 30 Jun 2020 19:39:02 -0400

Anger, sadness, frustration, fear, loneliness…any one of these emotions can cause one to feel off their game to the point that they may start singing the familiar, yet destructive “what’s wrong with me?” tune. Even more profound is the old saying “You will not be punished for your (fill in any of the emotions above), you will be punished by your (fill in the same emotion).” So what is one supposed to do with emotions that can cause so much pain, and destruction? The answer is actually quite simple...acknowledge them, “hey fear, I see you, how are you doing? You’re welcome to come along with me while I get some things done...I’m tired of fighting with you, so we’re going to try something different!” And that is what we call expansion, or making room for our emotions. Studies show that learning how to make room for our emotions, learning how to “drop the rope of the tug-of-war” with our emotions is a FAR more effective way to deal with them and can lead to greater joy and happiness.

In this episode, you’ll learn more about the practice of expansion, or making room for your feelings, from the book The Confidence Gap, by Russ Harris https://amzn.to/2z0SjW1

The Confidence Gap is a fantastic book that clearly and easily teaches the concepts of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Is Your Mess Causing Your Stress?

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 23 Jun 2020 13:45:47 -0400

Take a quick look around your room, your office, or even your car. What do you see? Do you find yourself staring at the same piles of paper, or half-completed projects that you've been working around for days weeks or even months? Do you feel a constant "low key" feeling of anxiety when you're in a messy room? And what if company suddenly decides to stop by? Do you panic, or party? If you’re feeling even a tiny bit of stress even thinking about the areas of your life where there may be an excessive amount of clutter, you’re not alone. In this episode, Tony references the article “A Cluttered House is a Cluttered Mind,” by Erin Cullum, as well as the article “Why Mess Causes Stress: 8 Reasons, 8 Remedies,” by Sherrie Bourg Carter Psy.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/high-octane-women/201203/why-mess-causes-stress-8-reasons-8-remedies

Tony also references the article “No Place Like Home: Home Tours Correlate With Daily Patterns of Mood and Cortisol” by Saxbe and Repetti https://undecidedthebook.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/saxbe-repetti-pspb-2010.pdf

Tony's interview on Shawn Rapier’s Latter-Day Lives can be found here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/latter-day-lives-talking-with-latter-day-saints/id1262984796?i=1000479049886

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

How to Avoid Drama...Are you a Persecutor, a Rescuer or a Victim? Understanding the Karpman Drama Triangle

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 16 Jun 2020 09:22:52 -0400

For most of us, we will do almost anything to avoid drama, even to the detriment of our personal and professional relationships. Yet at times, even the most mindful person may find themselves feeling like a victim who has no voice. While on other occasions, when seeing someone being picked on, we may attempt to rescue someone in that same victim role. And even crazier still, we may occasionally find ourselves trying to teach, or lecture or punish those who we feel are playing the role of the martyr, or victim. Stephen Karpman, M.D. identified these three roles, The Victim, The Persecutor, and The Rescuer, as part of what has become known as the “Karpman Drama Triangle.” Understand the drama triangle can not only help you recognize the negative roles that we tend to gravitate to in strong, emotion-filled interactions, aka “drama,” but also how to get out of these unhealthy situations.

Tony references a wonderful summary of the Karpman Drama Triangle by Linda Graham, MFT which can be found here https://lindagraham-mft.net/triangle-victim-rescuer-persecutor-get/ And for more information on Transactional Analysis (mentioned in the episode) click here https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/transactional-analysis.html

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Why Can it Be So Difficult To Understand The Plight of Others? Understanding The Ego

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 09 Jun 2020 01:48:04 -0400

Right now we need to be able to listen, empathize and understand our brothers and sisters more than ever...but why can that be so difficult at times? Even when many people stop to listen, why do their brains immediately go to, "yeah, I hear you, but you don't understand my..." Whatever comes after the "but" or "my" in conversations tends to be an "empathy-killer" at a time when we truly need to increase our empathy skills! Welcome to your Ego!

In today's episode, Tony refers to an article by Mark Leary, Ph.D. Dr. Leary is the Garonzik Family Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience at Duke University and author of The Curse of the Self. In his article What Is The Ego and Why Is It So Involved In My Life https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toward-less-egoic-world/201905/what-is-the-ego-and-why-is-it-so-involved-in-my-life Dr. Leary does a wonderful job at explaining our egos, and why it can be so difficult to step outside of one's self and truly listen to others. Tony takes Dr. Leary's thoughts on ego and shares some things that you can do immediately after listening to move forward with an increased amount of empathy.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Coach Charles Gazaway on Mentoring Youth, Race in Sports and Surviving a Kidney/Pancreas Transplant - BONUS Episode

Tony Overbay LMFT — Fri, 05 Jun 2020 11:01:08 -0400

In light of all of the events of the past week surrounding the horrific death of George Floyd and the protests and demands for change that have sprung forth from this senseless tragedy, I found myself contemplating my own views on privilege, race relations, empathy for my fellow brothers and sisters and how our views are formed, how they can change for the better. A large part of my own change has been through my relationship with Coach Charles Gazaway, who I interviewed on The Virtual Couch podcast back in June of 2018.

In preparation for the episode at that time, I had reached out to the exclusively white parents of the basketball team that Coach Charles had been coaching for a few years at that time. There were wonderful comments from parents about teaching the kids hard work, determination, etc., but there were several comments by parents about Coach teaching that we're all brothers and sisters, and that basketball was a vehicle to bring kids together from all races to work, as one, for a common goal. Coach is the major reason my son now has a very tight, close-knit group of black friends who love him as the brother that he is to them.

From the episode’s original description “Coach Charles Gazaway is a former professional basketball player from, as he puts it, “the hood, the inner city,” of Oakland. Coach started coaching my son, and a group of “lily white kids” from the suburbs almost 6 years ago and has taught them more about life, and people, through the game of basketball, than I could have ever imagined. A year and a half ago Coach suffered a serious medical setback temporarily losing his sight due to complications of diabetes, but he continued to coach through a kidney and pancreas transplant. He’s an amazing mentor, and role model to not just the kids, but to the parents as well. Coach led his team, in Cinderella-story-like fashion to qualify for the California games in San Diego.” As mentioned in the intro, you’ll hear a reference to donating for a trip to San Diego for the boys...that trip is long gone, but if you would like to donate to a charity of Coach Charles’ choice, you can do so here: PayPal.Me/TheVirtualCouch

I also reference a wonderful article titled: What Can I Say to an African American Friend as Anger Rises by Terry Porter of the Cleveland Plain Dealer, you can find that article here https://www.cleveland.com/news/2020/06/what-can-i-say-to-an-african-american-friend-as-anger-rises-faith-you.html

Our original interview in its entirety (with two old sponsors that I believe no longer exist...they were edited out of this new recording) can be viewed on YouTube here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0fOAjYhxJw&t=1s

#coach Charles Gazaway #kidneytransplant #pancreastransplant #survivor on #coaching youth, #aaubasketball and on being a #mentor Coach Charles uses #basketball to teach valuable skills on #race and #racerelations to kids. #rolemodel #blacklivesmatter

Monica Packer, Host of About Progress, On Battling Through Perfectionism and Procrastination

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 02 Jun 2020 00:12:06 -0400

From her website, http://aboutprogress.com, Monica Packer is a recovering perfectionist, a podcaster, and a Progress Coach. She also has a very successful online program that helps people create their first podcast called Podcast U along with fellow Podcaster and former Virtual Couch guest Rachel Nielson of 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms. Monica "saves women from themselves, by helping them ditch perfectionism, step into their gifts, and move towards real progress." And while sometimes phrases like these can sound a tad bit ambiguous, just give Monica a few minutes, and you'll be hooked. Monica is one of the most real, authentic people that I've met, and in this interview, she lays all of her baggage out on the table for everybody to see. I guarantee you'll find some challenges that you've most likely struggled with yourself on that table and Monica will help you understand what to do to start to deal with that baggage and move forward in a healthy, empowering way.

Monica discusses her struggles with perfectionism, anxiety, depression, an eating disorder, and her constant battle with impostor syndrome as she strives to help people take a look in the mirror and not only own their own lives but understand that it's OK to find yourself far from perfect. You can find Tony's encore episode on Monica's About Progress podcast here https://aboutprogress.com/how-to-stop-hating-yourself/

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Stages of Life, Stages of Faith, Stages of Change!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Wed, 27 May 2020 11:19:19 -0400

In the 1980s James Fowler, Professor of Theology and Human Development at Emory University and director of both the Center for Research on Faith and Moral Development and the Center for Ethics wrote a book called Stages of Faith. Fowler’s work compared the stages that one may go on in their faith journey, transition, or crisis with the stages of cognitive and moral development proposed by noted Psychologists Jean Piaget and Lawrence Kohlberg. Fowler’s work has resonated with many people who find themselves feeling lost, abandoned, or angry at their faith communities as they begin to develop their own sense of self as they gradually mature into adulthood.

Tony began working with Fowler’s stages of faith over a decade ago in helping people with their own faith journeys and quickly found himself seeing one client a week going through the process to several a week to now several each day. In this episode, Tony shares his thoughts on how Fowler’s stages of faith can easily be applied as “stages of life,” ultimately helping people recognize that there truly isn’t anything broken, or wrong with them because of their beliefs, and the sooner one can recognize where their own belief system, values, and goals come from the sooner these same beliefs, values, and goals can become embraced and life can truly be lived from a more authentic, empowered state!

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Stop Running From Uncomfortable Thoughts, Feelings and Emotions...How to Face the “Fear Trap”

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 19 May 2020 09:03:51 -0400

No one likes to feel bad...or sad, or afraid or anxious or uncertain, or so many other uncomfortable feelings. And what do you do when you start thinking unproductive thoughts? Sure, you can tell yourself to “just stop thinking about them!” But what happens when your mind seems to, well, have a mind of its own? In today’s episode, Tony tackles a chapter in Russ Harris’ book The Confidence Gap https://amzn.to/2z0SjW1 called “The Fear Trap,” and answers the question “what is fear?” And what we can do when strong emotions cause us to turn to unhealthy substances (drugs, alcohol, compulsive sexual behaviors, gambling) go into autopilot mode (at the mercy of our emotions), avoidance mode (do whatever we can to avoid unpleasant feelings), distraction, thinking strategies (just don’t worry about it, think happy thoughts!) or opting out of situations entirely?

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Attorney Paul Hoybjerg On Recognizing and Addressing Emotional, Sexual and Physical Abuse

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 14 May 2020 09:33:34 -0400

Attorney, and friend, Paul Hoybjerg joins Tony to talk about how we can better protect our children from sexual abuse. Paul is a partner in a Sacramento, California law firm who represents victims of sexual abuse, and negligence. Paul shares his story of how his own experience as a victim of negligence at birth led him to understand from a very young age when someone in a position of trust doesn’t act the way they should, and how there can be long-lasting, and sometimes devastating consequences. Even if you or your children have not been the victims of sexual abuse, this is a very important episode to listen to as Paul and Tony discuss ways that abusers groom, what to watch out for to assess for abuse, and how to have conversations with those you may believe to have been victims of abuse. Paul and Tony also talk about what to do if one has experienced abuse as a child, or teenager. You can watch this video on The Virtual Couch YouTube channel here https://youtu.be/tKENPPQDmLM Paul welcomes questions at abuseattorney@gmail.com.

Tony references Paul’s appearance on Richard Ostler’s Listen, Learn and Love Podcast, that episode can be found here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-261-paul-hoybjerg-protecting-children-from-abuse/id1347971725?i=1000471918919

There are only a few days left to sign up for Nate Bagley’s “Epic Wives Experiment!” Visit http://tonysexperiment.com for more information, registration ends at midnight, May 17th. Nate is a relationship researcher, and his goal is to rid the world of mediocre love. Nate’s work has been published by ABC, the Gottman Institute, The Good Men Project, Good Morning America, NBC, and more and with his latest project, The Epic Wives Experiment, he wants to help your marriage, and help it NOW! In The Epic Wives Experiment, he promises, nay, guarantees that in 4 weeks you’ll have more support, connection, and love in your marriage. Tony’s recent interview with Nate can be found here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/nate-bagley-relationship-researcher-on-epic-wives-experiment/id1275153998?i=1000473882148

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

The Elephant and the Rider, the Key to Managing Behavior, and Emotions

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 12 May 2020 09:33:40 -0400

Do you ever feel like you’re simply not in control of your emotions? You’re not alone. At times we may feel like our emotions are charging forward like a 6-ton elephant! And we’re simply the rider, trying out best to guide or control the elephant but without much success. But there is hope! Today Tony discusses the popular analogy The Elephant and the Rider, where our emotional part of the brain is represented by the elephant, and the logical, or rational part of our brain is played by the rider. Understanding this analogy can often lead to a little more understanding of how to quickly take control of our emotional response, and guide new behaviors.

Tony references the article The Elephant and the Rider https://www.creativehuddle.co.uk/the-elephant-and-the-rider as well as Itamar Goldminz’s article Advise the Rider, Steer the Elephant and Shape the Path (Heath) https://medium.com/org-hacking/advise-the-rider-steer-the-elephant-and-shape-the-path-heath-153b12003436 and he reads Marianne Williamson’s poem “Our Deepest Fear,” https://www.personalgrowthcourses.net/stories/williamson.ourdeepestfear.invitation and Tony reads from The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk https://amzn.to/3fIxBdW

Nate Bagley is a relationship researcher, and his goal is to rid the world of mediocre love. Nate’s work has been published by ABC, the Gottman Institute, The Good Men Project, Good Morning America, NBC, and more and with his latest project, The Epic Wives Experiment, he wants to help your marriage, and help it NOW! In The Epic Wives Experiment, he promises, nay, guarantees that in 4 weeks you’ll have more support, connection, and love in your marriage. In today’s mini-episode Tony interviews Nate to find out a little bit more about Nate’s background, and what led him to create The Epic Wives Experiment. For more information visit http://tonysexperiment.com registration for the Epic Wives Experiment ends at midnight on May 17th.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Nate Bagley, Relationship Researcher on The Epic Wives Experiment

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 07 May 2020 09:55:00 -0400

Nate Bagley is a relationship researcher, and his goal is to rid the world of mediocre love. Nate’s work has been published by ABC, the Gottman Institute, The Good Men Project, Good Morning America, NBC, and more and with his latest project, The Epic Wives Experiment, he wants to help your marriage, and help it NOW! In The Epic Wives Experiment, he promises, nay, guarantees that in 4 weeks you’ll have more support, connection, and love in your marriage. In today’s mini-episode Tony interviews Nate to find out a little bit more about Nate’s background, and what led him to create The Epic Wives Experiment. For more information visit http://tonysexperiment.com registration for the Epic Wives Experiment ends at midnight on May 17th.
Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to HTTP://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee!
This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.

Episode 200! Tony Tells All...Baseball, Boating Accidents and the Tiger King!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 05 May 2020 02:00:00 -0400

To celebrate the 200th episode of The Virtual Couch Podcast, former guest and author Joshua Shea (Tony's co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions) interviews Virtual Couch podcast host Tony Overbay. Tony shares about a tragic accident shortly after high school graduation that derailed a promising college athletic career, his 10 years in the computer software industry, what led him to change careers to therapy, and how that change has impacted his role as a father and husband. Tony talks about many of the things he’s learned over the years as a therapist that has changed his life for the better, and he gives advice on what he feels is holding most people back from achieving their dreams.

This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Much Ado About Anxiety, and Why Ignoring Anxiety Only Makes It Angry!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 28 Apr 2020 08:46:35 -0400

Most likely you don't even have to start thinking about all of the stressors in your life right now to feel that familiar pang of anxiety. Does your heart feel like it’s going to beat right through your chest? Or do you feel like a dozen or more kittens are kneading their tiny claws against the inner lining of your stomach? Do you get migraines that cause you to want to bury your head under a pillow for hours, or do you feel tightness in your lower back or shoulders? The body is trying to tell you something, but do you know what to do with the information that it’s sharing with you? Should you avoid the feelings? Will giving in to them cause you to feel worse?

In today’s episode, Tony works off of the https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/323454 article “What to know about anxiety,” to give an exhaustive overview of anxiety including what the body is trying to tell you. What types of therapy and medication tend to work the best with anxiety, how does mindfulness, and meditation help reduce anxiety, and why is it so difficult to simply tell myself to be happy, to stop thinking anxious thoughts, and stop feeling anxious feelings (hint, trying to control the mind can often make symptoms even worse!).

This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

The Quarantine Kids Are Back! Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Life In Quarantine Featuring Tony’s Family!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 21 Apr 2020 02:00:00 -0400

Tony welcomes his wife (that’s right, for the first time in 198 episodes Tony’s wife Wendy joins the podcast!) along with his oldest daughter Alexa, 22, and her husband Mitch, 23, his daughter Mackie, who has appeared two previous times on The Virtual Couch, along with nephew Connor to discuss life in quarantine, online schooling, and what the effects of a lack of schedule look like in the areas of sleep, food, and motivation. If any of you are feeling like you’re alone either as the person in quarantine or wondering if the way your family is acting is “normal” during this unprecedented time, this episode may just have your answers.-

Alexa Lovell, 22, is in her junior year at BYU-Idaho and is studying Diagnostic Medical Sonography and she currently works as a certified lash technician in Idaho, she can be reached to book appointments through her Instagram account @lovell.lashes. Her husband, Mitch Lovell is beginning his senior year at BYU-Idaho studying Biomedical Science and has his sights set on dental school. Alex and Mitch have been married for one year this week! McKinley (Mackie) Overbay, 20, is a sophomore at BYU-Idaho and is almost a year into cosmetology school at Paul Mitchell in Rexburg, ID (IG @beautybymackie) and nephew Connor Furgeson, 25, is a senior at BYU majoring in neuroscience. Wendy Overbay and Tony have been married for 29 years and have 2 other children, Sydney, 18, a senior in high school, and Jake, 16, currently a high school sophomore.-

Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to HTTP://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee!

This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

BONUS Narcissism 101 Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 16 Apr 2020 09:56:00 -0400

There’s a lot of talk in the news of narcissism. Many people in powerful positions, i.e. politicians, actors, CEOs of large companies, appear to be impervious to the thoughts of others, often being praised for their ability to put their heads down and power through, letting nothing get in their way. And while this may get them ahead in their chosen professions, it can be absolutely devastating to their relationships, often leaving massive destruction in their wake. Sexual harassment allegations are everywhere, and many of the accused appear to lack complete awareness of the significance of their accusations or of the feelings of their victims. Many of these traits are classic symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). In this episode Tony takes a deep dive into NPD, it’s symptomatology, and how to work with a narcissist.

This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Sleep Or Stress, Which Came First? Tips to Lowering Cortisol Levels for Better Sleep

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 14 Apr 2020 09:32:00 -0400

Day is night, night is day! For most of us, we need a bit of a reason to get out of bed in the morning, whether it's heading to a job, getting the kids ready for school, or to head to an early exercise class at the gym, or meet a friend for breakfast. Unfortunately with the "shelter in place" order still in place, and social distancing the norm many people are finding themselves sleeping in later and later, which equates to staying up to the wee hours of the morning with almost no end in sight. What role does this play on our mental health? Is there a correlation between irregular sleep and common sleep disorders like insomnia and sleep apnea? And what can we do to lower cortisol levels so we can have a more "normal" sleep schedule? Today Tony talks about irregular sleep patterns and then dives deep into the role of cortisol, the stress hormone, and how it affects sleep, and common sleep disorders such as insomnia and sleep apnea, or perhaps how sleep affects the release of cortisol.

Tony reviews Dr. Michael Breus' article from Psychologytoday.com "The Connection Between Cortisol and Sleep Disorders." https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sleep-newzzz/202004/the-connection-between-cortisol-and-sleep-disorders Dr. Michael Breus' ask "The Sleep Doctor" can be found at http://thesleepdoctor.com and he also references the website Neuroscientificallychallenged.com https://www.neuroscientificallychallenged.com/glossary/hpa-axis

This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Couples Communication Tune Up Time! More Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 07 Apr 2020 08:59:51 -0400

As we continue to shelter in place, quarantine, spend more time in closed quarters with our loved ones, the need for productive communication is even more important. That's why Tony felt it imperative to dust off the basics of psychologist Sue Johnson's Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples. EFT is the evidence-based couples communication model that shows 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery in their relationships and approximately 90% show significant improvements.-Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to HTTP://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee!-This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.-Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.--You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.

It's Going To Be OK! Managing Worry and Doubt During Distressing Times

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 31 Mar 2020 11:27:03 -0400

If you're human, you've experienced worry. But sometimes it can be more difficult than others to set those worries aside and continue doing what you need to do to move ahead in your life. In today's episode, Tony discusses the article "I'm a psychologist, and these are my top 8 tips for distracting yourself from overwhelming worry" by Erin Bunch from Wellandgood.com. https://www.wellandgood.com/good-advice/how-to-stop-worrying-about-things-you-cant-control/

COMING SOON Tony's FREE PARENTING CLASS/VIRTUAL SESSION "Parenting Positively Even in the Not So Positive of Times!" Go to tonyoverbay.com and sign up now to be the first to learn how to get this FREE parenting program that will help you immediately understand more about these tiny, or sometimes not so tiny, humans that can play such a major role in our happiness and well being.

This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

The Invisible Gorilla And Other Fascinating Psychological Experiments

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 24 Mar 2020 09:41:37 -0400

Can memories be implanted? What would you do if smoke began billowing from underneath a door and everyone around you acted like nothing unusual was happening? And could you spot a gorilla running across the screen while you were focusing on people passing a ball between one another? Most of us, if not ALL of us would most likely say that we'd run out of the room, or that we'd absolutely notice the gorilla...yet according to the data, that's not always the case.-In this episode, Tony reviews 5 fascinating experiments from the BoredPanda.com article "28 Psychological Experiments That Revealed Incredible And Uncomfortable Truths About Ourselves" by James Caunt https://www.boredpanda.com/psychology-behaviour-experiments/-This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.-And please go to http://tonyoverbay.com today and sign up now to receive more information on Tony’s upcoming free parenting "virtual session" called Tips for Parenting Positively During The Not So Positive of Times.-Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.--You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.

Decreasing Anxiety During Anxious Times w/Dr. Mary Wilde

Tony Overbay LMFT — Fri, 20 Mar 2020 07:53:00 -0400

Dr. Mary Wilde is a board-certified pediatrician, author, and mother of 8 who spends a lot of her time helping people decrease anxiety during anxious times. It’s fair to say that with the continuing information regarding COVID-19 coming from all angles these are truly anxious times. So what can you do to keep your own anxiety and fear in check? How does grounding yourself help put you in a better position to help those around you, your family, your children? And can a little bit of anxiety actually be good for you? In today’s episode of The Virtual Couch, Dr. Mary gives a brief overview of this latest coronavirus, COVID-19, and gives suggestions on ways that we can talk to our kids about all the changes and uncertainty in the world.

Dr. Mary also gives some great advice on how to make the most of the downtime not only for yourself but also for your family. She gives specific examples of how to use an integrative approach, tapping into your mind, your body and your spirit to help decrease anxiety during these anxious times. Dr. Mary has a WEALTH of resources and her own program for lessening anxiety on her website https://drmarywilde.com/home-page and you can find several links that she referenced during this episode below.

This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

And please go to http://tonyoverbay.com today and sign up now to receive more information on Tony’s upcoming free workshop on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), ACT can help you truly focus on what is important to YOU, it will help keep you not only present, able to be there for yourself, your family and your loved ones during even the most uncertain times, but it can also help you make solid decisions moving forward that can help bring you a tremendous sense of purpose.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Overcoming Childhood Anxiety" for kids, teens, & parents with Dr. Mary Wilde--an 8-week online course teaching mind, body, spirit strategies for dealing with anxiety & more https://drmarywilde.com/anxiety-courses

Free ADHD 5-Challenge with Dr. Mary Wilde and Dr. Lara Honos-Webb: a strength-based approach to ADHD w/ bonus session on optimizing the home learning environment during lockdown https://drmarywilde.com/ADHD-challenge

Free ebook by Dr. Mary Wilde "Your Road to Calm: Stress Detox for the Modern Family" https://drmarywilde.com/ebook-optin

Other resources:

CDC Website: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/index.html?CDC_AA_refVal=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cdc.gov%2Fcoronavirus%2Findex.html

WHO Website: https://www.who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019

Washington Post article explaining social distancing: https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2020/world/corona-simulator/

BrainsOn Podcast to Help Explain How Coronavirus is Spread: https://www.brainson.org/shows/2020/03/10/understanding-coronavirus-and-how-germs-spread-for-kids

Free resource to help kids learn to use imagery to reduce anxiety: http://imaginaction.stanford.edu/

Yoga Channel for young kids: https://www.youtube.com/user/CosmicKidsYoga

Mindfulness Meditation with Dr. Tara Brach https://www.tarabrach.com/meditation-the-rain-of-self-compassion/ and a free half-day retreat resource for parents (If you have a parenting partner, take turns!) https://www.tarabrach.com/create-home-retreat/

Online scripture (Comment in the show notes to suggest others!)

Old Testament https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/ot?lang=eng

New Testament https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/nt?lang=eng

Torah https://www.sefaria.org/texts

Quran https://quran.com/?local=en

Do I Really Need More TP or Bottled Water? Aka "If Everybody Else is Doing it, Shouldn't I?"

Tony Overbay LMFT — Mon, 16 Mar 2020 12:26:00 -0400

With things changing rapidly thanks to the spread of COVID-19 and the Coronavirus, it is becoming increasingly more difficult to know exactly what to do, how to do it, and for how long? But one thing that remains a constant amidst the chaos is people are flocking to stores for their toilet paper and bottled water...even when they have plenty already on hand, or have filtered water on hand via their taps or refrigerators! Why do we tend to follow the crowd even when we aren’t entirely sure that following them is exactly what works for us personally?

In today’s episode Tony explores why we tend to follow crowds, and whether or not it’s always a good idea? Tony uses Jeremy Nicholson Ph.D.’s article “Should You Do What Everyone Else is Doing” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/persuasion-bias-and-choice/201903/should-you-do-what-everyone-else-is-doing along with “The Science Behind Why People Follow the Crowd” By Rob Henderson

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/after-service/201705/the-science-behind-why-people-follow-the-crowd as the outline for this episode. And you can watch this episode (audio AND video) on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel here https://youtu.be/ypUPYth00RY please take just a second to subscribe while you're there.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"

Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.

The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

Coronavirus Rule #1...Don't Touch Your Face! Why Can't You NOW Stop Touching Your Face? Thought Suppression & Rebound Behaviors

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 10 Mar 2020 08:44:00 -0400

With the continued information about the coronavirus coming in almost by the minute, two things have remained consistent...wash your hands long enough to sing the ABC song AND don't touch your face! But for most, simply telling one to not touch their face leads to more face touching, oftentimes significantly more than they would have had they never been instructed to not touch their face in the first place! Why is it so hard to stop touching our faces...no touchy!!! In this episode, Tony tackles the reasons why thought suppression not only doesn't work, but it actually makes the situation worse! Tony references the NBC News article, "Try not to touch your face. Also, try not to think about touching your face." by Kalhan Rosenblatt https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/social-media/try-not-touch-your-face-also-try-not-think-about-n1150161 as well as the Psychology Today article "Don't Think About It: Thought Suppression Causes Behavior Rebound" by Ira Hyman Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mental-mishaps/201009/dont-think-about-it-Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"-Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

Living with a Narcissistic Parent - Tina Fuller, Author of "It's My Turn"

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 05 Mar 2020 10:27:00 -0500

Author Tina Fuller joins Tony to talk about her book "It's My Turn" https://amzn.to/2ImIMtk which details her experiences in growing up with a narcissistic mother. The interview covers personality disorders, signs of narcissism, and the negative effects of growing up the child of a narcissistic parent. Tina also shares how to heal from the issues that arise from being raised by a narcissist. Tina can be contacted through her website www.narcissism-answers.com/ Tina also runs a very robust Facebook group with over 55,000 followers called Narcissistic Parent Answers https://www.facebook.com/Narcissistic-Parent-Answers-140962406067146/

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Psychological Reactance...You Don't Need to Listen To This Episode, Actually I Wouldn't If I Were You!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Mon, 02 Mar 2020 12:56:00 -0500

Simply put, psychological reactance is the instantaneous response that we have when we're told what to do. In business it is often called "change resistance" and in parenting, it's typically referred to as, well, "kids!" Reactance can also be described as "reverse psychology." But why does it flow from us so instantaneously? Why, in some situations, can someone even be telling us something that would ultimately be for our benefit but we feel a need to lash out with a firm "no, you don't understand, that won't work for me?" And per Tony's early admonition on this episode, you can skip to 9 mins 10 seconds in to skip directly to the discussion on reactance.

Today Tony tackles the topic of psychological reactance and bases the discussion on a couple of interesting articles on the subject. First is an article titled simply "Reactance" from http://psychology.iresearchnet.com/social-psychology/social-influence/reactance/ and "Don't Tread On Me! Psychological Reactance as Omnipresent" by Ryan Smerek Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/learning-work/201712/don-t-tread-me-psychological-reactance-omnipresent

Tony mentioned two recent podcast appearances in the beginning of the episode, you can find his episode "Tony Overbay, Virtual Couch Podcast and Porn Addiction" on Nikki Eisenhauer's Emotional Badass here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tony-overbay-virtual-couch-interview-and-porn-addiction/id1363543523?i=1000467191010 and Tony's interview on Brannon Patrick's new podcast "Ask Brannon Anything" titled "Faith Crisis & Relationships" here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/faith-crisis-relationships/id1500794877?i=1000467024231

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Ginger Elizabeth Hahn, World Renowned Chocolatier on Battling Roadblocks, Postpartum Depression, Fighting Childhood Cancer w/St. Baldricks

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 27 Feb 2020 09:58:00 -0500

When Ginger Hahn, the founder of Ginger Elizabeth Chocolates' daughter was only 6 days old she had an intestinal bypass. According to Ginger, "It was the worst 2 weeks of my life in that hospital. Walking to the cafeteria every day I would walk past the oncology pediatrics wing at Sutter Sacramento. I was grateful to not be on that wing with my baby but so many kids were. I want to do this to give back to those kids who give so much hope and inspiration to others while fighting this terrible disease."-So Ginger is shaving her head with St. Baldrick's to raise money and help conquer kids' cancers and she needs your help! Every 2 minutes a child is diagnosed with cancer worldwide, and 1 in 5 of those in the U.S. will not survive. Ginger said that she refuses to accept this reality, so she's decided to fundraise for lifesaving research to find cures and better treatments for kids. You can help Ginger by donating on her behalf to St. Baldricks here https://www.stbaldricks.org/donate/participant/1058309/2020?amount=50&donation_type=donate_once-In this episode, Ginger talks about balancing a growing business in her 20’s with the demands of motherhood, and her battles with severe postpartum depression, and, at times, crippling anxiety. But Ginger never gave up and found herself needing to open up to others, and learn how to be vulnerable, and seek help, something that didn’t come naturally to a driven, entrepreneur. You can learn more about Ginger, and order her world-famous chocolates at https://gingerelizabeth.com/-Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"-Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

A New Approach to Treating Trauma - Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) with Lora Abraham, LCSW

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 25 Feb 2020 18:44:00 -0500

Lora Abraham, LCSW and a former high school classmate of Tony's, uses EMDR to treat clients who present with a variety of types of trauma. What is EMDR? From the EMDR Institute: EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a psychotherapy that enables people to heal from the symptoms and emotional distress that are the result of disturbing life experiences. Repeated studies show that by using EMDR therapy people can experience the benefits of psychotherapy that once took years to make a difference. It is widely assumed that severe emotional pain requires a long time to heal. EMDR therapy shows that the mind can in fact heal from psychological trauma much as the body recovers from physical trauma. When you cut your hand, your body works to close the wound. If a foreign object or repeated injury irritates the wound, it festers and causes pain. Once the block is removed, healing resumes. EMDR therapy demonstrates that a similar sequence of events occurs with mental processes. Lora referenced receiving her training in EMDR through the Maiberger Institute https://maibergerinstitute.com/ Anyone seeking more information on EMDR or who are interested in receiving EMDR certification and/or training please visit the Maiberger Institute for more information.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

BONUS - Navigating a Faith Journey/Crisis, Fowler’s Stages of Faith, Truth, Beauty, and Goodness

Tony Overbay LMFT — Fri, 21 Feb 2020 09:51:00 -0500

For many, a faith community, or religious congregation, is a safe place to return regularly to be spiritually fed before heading back to an often chaotic world. But what happens when that previously “safe” community begins to feel like a place where one is no longer welcome? Is the problem with the individual, or with the community, or congregation? If you are a parent to someone who is experiencing a faith crisis, what do you do? Are there certain things that you say that seem to trigger emotional responses that appear to come out of nowhere? If you’re the one experiencing the “faith crisis” how do you communicate with your family or faith community?-Tony explores this topic from a variety of angles, from empathy, and Christlike love, to explore what it means to judge righteously, and why identifying as someone more connected to Truth, Beauty, or Goodness matters? And finally, Tony discusses James Fowler’s Stages of Faith, and how understanding where you are, or where a loved one may be, can help bring more peace, and understanding, into a relationship where a belief system is at the core of the disagreements.-Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"-Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) In Emotionally Abusive/Distant Relationships

Tony Overbay LMFT — Mon, 17 Feb 2020 10:47:00 -0500

Many of us know what Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is, and we associate it with people who have come back from war, or who have experienced traumatic events, or accidents. Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or C-PTSD is a type of PTSD that garnering much more attention lately thanks to all we're learning about the long-term effects of trauma from people in power. Examples of C-PTSD can be found in everything from survivors of sex-trafficking and or survivors of ongoing sexual abuse as a child, to spouses who have lived in emotionally abusive relationships for years, especially those who have found themselves in relationships with a partner exhibiting symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).

This episode is based primarily off of the article "Understanding Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder," by Gary Gilles and Kelly Morrell, medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, PhD, PsyD from Healthline.com https://www.healthline.com/health/cptsd

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

BONUS What If Trying to Choose To Be Happy Isn't Working?

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 13 Feb 2020 14:08:00 -0500

Plenty of well-meaning people in our lives try and motivate us by saying, "Just choose to be happy every day!" But why, then, isn't it that easy? Why when many people try and choose to be happy, do they actually end up feeling worse? If you've ever experienced this, then please know that you're not alone. As a matter of fact, you're in the overwhelming majority of people that struggle with trying to choose happiness, and having it last. In this episode, Tony discusses a couple of studies that back up the fact that positive affirmations typically only work when the person already believes the idea that they are affirming, but when we try using them when we don't believe the affirmation in the first place, that they can leave us feeling more lonely, and depressed. Susan David's book Emotional Agility as well as Russ Harris' The Confidence Gap https://amzn.to/2Hkp5C3 and The Happiness Trap https://amzn.to/2SGRKXd are referenced in this episode.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

She's ALWAYS Late! He NEVER Asks About My Day! What To Do With All or Nothing/Black or White Thinking!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 11 Feb 2020 09:51:00 -0500

All or nothing...He’s ALWAYS late! She NEVER asks me about my day. The kids will absolutely never, ever, no matter what I say pick up after themselves (OK, that one might actually be true). Do you always find yourself using extreme black and white or all-or-nothing thinking? Are you never able to find the good in a moment and be fully present (see what I did there?). Chances are most of us will find ourselves using black and white, all-or-nothing, or what the American Psychological Association also calls dichotomous or polarized thinking on a fairly regular basis. This type of thinking keeps us from seeing the world as it truly is, wonderfully complex, full of nuances and situations that can be equally frustrating, and exhilarating. In this episode, Tony will refer to the article How Black and White Thinking Hurts You (And What You Can Do to Change it) by Rebecca Joy Stanborough of Healthline https://thriveglobal.com/stories/black-and-white-thinking-damage-communication-psychology-research/-Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"-Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

Where To Begin Today To Drive Change...4 ACT Sessions in One Podcast!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 04 Feb 2020 09:40:00 -0500

In Dr. Steven Hayes’ book A Liberated Mind, How to Pivot Toward What Matters https://amzn.to/34w72BT Dr. Hayes shares some research that shows how quickly you can begin making progress using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). The study evaluated how ACT helped people cope with chronic pain, one of the most difficult conditions to treat. After 4 sessions of ACT, the participants in the study had an 87 percent reduction in medical visits and only missed an average of half a day of work versus the control group who missed weeks of work and attended 15 to 1 doctor's appointments who did not receive the ACT training. I dig deep into what those 4 sessions of ACT consist of, why the sessions are so impactful and how you can incorporate them into your own life as soon as possible.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Dr. Shelly Hoover, Author of Timeless Sisters, ALS Advocate, On Making the Most of Every Moment

Tony Overbay LMFT — Tue, 28 Jan 2020 08:11:00 -0500

Dr. Shelly Hoover is a wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, and friend. She’s a veteran, author, educator, and advocate. It’s what she does. It’s who she is. In 2013, her neurologist told her that she only had two to five years to live. After a year of trying to figure out what was slowly happening to her body, Shelly was diagnosed with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) or Lou Gehrig’s disease. Some call it that Ice Bucket Challenge disease. From shellyhoover.com, “whatever you call it, it’s a fatal diagnosis with no effective treatment or cure. Yet I have much to live for and I’m determined to live in gratitude and joy regardless of circumstance. I feel alive when while I’m encouraging others to live their best life.”

Tony interviews Shelly about their shared experience running around a middle school track to help motivate kids, and raise money for the school, and how to make the event bigger, and better in the future, only to find that a few short months later, Shelly would begin to recognize the initial symptoms of what would eventually be diagnosed as ALS.

Shelly has also written a book, Timeless Sisters, available on Amazon https://amzn.to/38fiMuJ The book is about three strong women, Janene, Cora, and Amadahy, who live in the same North Carolina town centuries apart. Janene, a modern-day high school teacher, loses her career and identity in the face of a devastating illness. Cora, an enslaved person during the Civil War, flees the Yarbrough plantation after her family is murdered. She finds refuge at Mama Hattie’s house only to encounter the killer years later. Amadahy, a Cherokee before the European invasion, loses a child and her husband leaves. She finds an unlikely love while on a river adventure and returns to find trouble at home. A sacred, maternal talisman connects the three women as they search for lasting peace. Follow this fast-paced, emotional journey to the collective sisterhood at the river.

The book has received phenomenal reviews from both critics, and readers alike. You can learn more about Shelly at http://shellyhoover.com

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

BONUS - Do I NEED My Partner For My Own Happiness? Discovering Sue Johnson's Love Sense

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 23 Jan 2020 08:52:00 -0500

One of the popular messages shared by both therapists and media alike is that we are supposed to be in complete control of our own emotions before, or even IF we then turn to others and that it is necessary to love yourself first and only THEN will someone else be able to love you. But according to Dr. Sue Johnson, founder of the highly successful evidence-based couples therapy model, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), our new knowledge “stands that message on its head.” Dr. Johnson, in her latest book, Love Sense https://amzn.to/2RYEwq6, The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships, says that “we are designed to deal with emotion in concert with another person, not by ourselves.” Tony breaks down attachment issues at their very beginning, when we’re born, and then builds on why it is so important to have a secure attachment as a base to operate from in order to be more successful in navigating the complex world of human relationships. “We have cracked the code of love,” says Dr. Johnson.

-Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony will be speaking in the Midvale North Stake on Sunday, January 26th in Midvale, UT. His talk is titled "Hang in There! You're Doing Better Than You Think." The talk is free, the address is 97 W 7500 South, Midvale, UT.-Tony will be presenting at the Outlier Podcast Festival in Salt Lake City on January 25th, 2020. You can find out more info here: Outlier Podcast Festival | Salt Lake City at The Pod Mill @ 30 South Main Street Salt Lake City UT January 24-25, 2020 http://outlierpodfest.com/ Get a 15% discount to attend the festival by using the discount code "Outlier".-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"-Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

Hey, How You Feeling? Primary and Secondary Emotions Explained!

Tony Overbay LMFT — Mon, 20 Jan 2020 09:44:00 -0500

Have you ever been scared by a friend? Chances are your first, or primary emotion, was fear! That's perfectly normal, after all, you're human. But what emotion follows after the initial fear response? Do you get angry because your friend scared you? Where did that anger come from? Was it because you were actually embarrassed that you dropped your phone, or that you let out a string of curse words that would make a sailor blush? Those feelings that swoop in immediately after a reaction are typically called your "secondary emotions" and those keep us away from staying in the present moment. Today we explore the world of primary and secondary emotions, and, how learning where they come from will help you better recognize and deal with them in a more healthy, present, way.In this episode, Tony refers to the article "What are Primary and Secondary Emotions" by Nadia Khan first posted on Betterhelp.com https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/general/what-are-primary-and-secondary-emotions/-This episode is sponsored by Blubrry Podcasting – Launch your Podcast the Blubrry Way. The Virtual Couch is hosted by Blubrry, and chances are you already have a podcast, or you want to start a podcast. What are you waiting for? Get 30 Days of Blubrry Podcasting FREE, which includes hosting and stats, and a WordPress website if you need one. Publishing is as simple as Create – Upload – Publish. Use the promo code BLU014 to get started today, or simply click on this link and you’ll be a podcasting in no time! https://create.blubrry.com/resources/podcast-media-hosting/?code=Blu014-Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony will be speaking in the Midvale North Stake on Sunday, January 26th in Midvale, UT. His talk is titled "Hang in There! You're Doing Better Than You Think." The talk is free, the address is 97 W 7500 South, Midvale, UT.-Tony will be presenting at the Outlier Podcast Festival in Salt Lake City on January 25th, 2020. You can find out more info here: Outlier Podcast Festival | Salt Lake City at The Pod Mill @ 30 South Main Street Salt Lake City UT January 24-25, 2020 http://outlierpodfest.com/ Get a 15% discount to attend the festival by using the discount code "Outlier".-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"-Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

Rediscovering the Levels of Intimacy - A Guide to a Better Connection

Tony Overbay LMFT — Thu, 16 Jan 2020 09:06:00 -0500

Physical attraction may be enough to initially bring a couple together but is it enough to sustain a relationship when you feel disconnected emotionally, spiritually, or intellectually? Or how about when you feel like anything you say to each other is a trigger for an argument? Learn how to form a more healthy view of intimacy, beginning with psychological intimacy, verbal intimacy, emotional intimacy and more. Discover how to make physical intimacy the natural byproduct of a strong connection. The content of this episode was initially recorded and aired in 2018 after Tony learned about the Levels of Intimacy from Dr. Kevin Skinner of ADDO Recovery.-

This episode is sponsored by Blubrry Podcasting – Launch your Podcast the Blubrry Way. The Virtual Couch is hosted by Blubrry, and chances are you already have a podcast, or you want to start a podcast. What are you waiting for? Get 30 Days of Blubrry Podcasting FREE, that includes hosting and stats, and a WordPress website if you need one. Publishing is as simple as Create – Upload – Publish. Use the promo code BLU014 to get started today, or simply click on this link and you’ll be a podcasting in no time! https://create.blubrry.com/resources/podcast-media-hosting/?code=Blu014

Tony will be speaking in the Midvale North Stake on Sunday, January 26th in Midvale, UT. His talk is titled "Hang in There! You're Doing Better Than You Think." The talk is free, the address is 97 W 7500 South, Midvale, UT.-Tony will be presenting at the Outlier Podcast Festival in Salt Lake City on January 25th, 2020. You can find out more info here: Outlier Podcast Festival | Salt Lake City at The Pod Mill @ 30 South Main Street Salt Lake City UT January 24-25, 2020 http://outlierpodfest.com/ Get a 15% discount to attend the festival by using the discount code "Outlier".-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"-Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.