It’s not because I didn’t have positive support. I had all the support a teenager could ask for … from my parents telling me “you can do anything you put your mind to”. They would support me to the best of their ability to achieve whatever it was I wanted to do. I was put into classes, bought supplies when needed and even placed into group activities around others similar to me.

You would think that this would be perfect for one to be confident to get started in an activity. But it wasn’t. I just wasn’t very motivated to work towards a goal. I didn’t know how to push through the tough spots.

… I did have the support though.

But for whatever reason, this was not enough. I was scared to push forward to pursue my goals. I wasn’t confident to do my school work, therefore I was a C student at best. I wasn’t confident to continue guitar lessons, so I would just quit. This went on for years.

Why? Maybe because I was unsure how to get to where I wanted to go. No roadmap, due to the lack of experience led to quitting. But most likely it was because I was scared to just take that first step. I was scared of failure and in return I didn’t take action.

In school, just about the only classes I did well in were gym and art. The rest I was just down right terrible in. If I didn’t understand, I didn’t ask for help and I just did nothing. I wasn’t confident and I was shy. My report card would come home and I would break my parent’s hearts time and time again, until I couldn’t take it anymore.

It was too much to see them upset with me, so I determined that I just needed to succeed in getting a C in my math class so I could graduate on time.

And that’s what it took. One day, I realized that the fuel that I needed to succeed in getting that C was that I was never going to disappoint my parents again. Seeing them upset and not knowing what else to do was enough to change. It put the fire in my heart to move forward and stop feeling sorry for myself.

For the remainder of the year, I put my head down and did whatever it took to become confident enough to get my grades up. I looked at what I had already achieved to build my confidence. “I got A in gym, so how can I use that as inspiration to get a C in math?”. I set goals and I talked myself up. “I can do this”.

By the end of the year, I got the grades needed to graduate highschool on time. It was such a relief. For both myself and my parents.

Now, this was definitely not the end of my struggles with self-confidence. I dealt with it for many more years. But it was the beginning. It was a success story and it was the fuel I needed to dump on a fire to move forward through my own personal life experiences.

As an adult I now know that the roads we are setting out to travel are rarely known. This uncertainty is part of the journey. To get to your destination you need to take small steps and build upon them along the way. Sure we are going to make mistakes, that’s part of it. But as long as you don’t repeat them you’ll eventually get to where you’ve set out to go.

How do you take my story and apply it to YOUR life?

I’m going to tell you the 5 secrets I’ve learned on how to better build your self-confidence. Take out a pen and write them down, then ask yourself, “How can I take these tips and create actionable steps for myself?”

Look At What You’ve Already Achieved

It’s easy to lose confidence if you believe you haven’t achieved anything. Make a list of all the things you’re proud of in your life, whether it’s getting a good mark on an exam or learning to surf. Keep the list close by and add to it whenever you do something you’re proud of. When you’re low in confidence, pull out the list and use it to remind yourself of all the awesome things you've accomplished.

Think of Things You’re Good At

Everyone has strengths and talents. What are yours? Recognizing what you’re good at, and trying to build on those skills, will help you to build confidence in your own abilities. Once a day for a month read this list out loud in order to reassure that you are talented.

Set Some Goals

Create a few goals and list out the steps you need to take to achieve them. They don’t have to be big goals; they can even be things like cooking dinner every night or planning a night out with your spouse once a month. Just aim for some small achievements that you can check off a list to help you gain confidence in your ability to get stuff done.

Talk Yourself Up

You’re never going to feel confident if you have negative commentary running through your mind telling you that you’re no good. Think about your self-talk and how that might be affecting your self-confidence. Treat yourself like you would your best friend and cheer yourself on.

Find Something You’re Passionate About

Try to find something that you’re really interested in. It could be photography, a sport, reading a book to learn a skill or anything else. When you’ve worked out your passion, commit yourself to giving it a go. Chances are, if you’re interested or passionate about a certain activity, you’re more likely to be motivated and you’ll build skills more quickly.

In today’s podcast, you’ve learned about how I was not very confident as a teenager and what it took to fire me up to begin building my self-confidence. You also learned my 5 secrets on how to better build YOUR self-confidence. I hope that you found a little value in this lesson today and can apply it to YOUR life to become a better version of you.

It’s so easy to become derailed from achieving our personal life goals throughout all stages of our lives.

Each day we go through the daily motions required of us … work responsibilities, family obligations and helping others whenever asked.

We go through road bumps and setbacks, all the things we don’t expect but have to navigate our way through.

All the things that are just part of life, but also can be distractions from helping us to achieve OUR goals.

We have so much on our plates that the fire inside for what WE want to achieve is all too often extinguished before we can get any traction.

I believe that there is so much more opportunity for each of us, that if we could just find that right “fuel” to keep that fire going … that perfect motivator to just move … we can be far more productive and achieve success sooner than we often do.

That’s why I want you to check out the Fuel to Succeed podcast. Every week, I share a short story to fire you up to break through what’s holding you back and inspire you to achieve the goals of your wildest dreams.

Each episode will help you to create confidence in yourself and give you actionable steps to start living the life you deserve today!

Thanks for listening and I hope you enjoy the show.